To the Highest Bidder
by RainyGirl1978
Summary: 1849 CA "Bella he loves you! He'll make sure you're taken care of!" Bella runs from an arranged marriage to make her own way only to wind up in something much more sinister. Can she escape & find love & purpose? Mature themes, minor violence/abuse.
1. New in Town

**Edited 6/4/11: I apologize if you are getting an alert for this story and you thought it was being updated. Since this was my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind, there were numerous mistakes. I'm going through and doing minor editing of things such as grammar, etc. I am choosing to leave the story as is with the exception of minor changes because I think it's kind of nice to see growth in an author's work.**

**Full Summary:**

Take a step back in time to 1849, the height of the Gold Rush in Northern California. Where the chasm between the simple bucolic lifestyle and the rough and tumble of the old west was about to be bridged and the two worlds would collide, threatening the innocence that permeates Bella's existence and sets her on a course that could lead to her destruction or her redemption.

The only child of widower Sheriff Charlie Swan, Bella grew up in the safety of a small town in the Sierra foothills knowing she would one day be the wife of Jacob Black, her childhood friend. But even though Bella didn't want a safe lukewarm marriage to her best friend, stuck at home cooking his meals and darning his socks, she never dared to challenge her fate as it was what was expected. Secretly she wanted passion and she wanted to make a difference in her world. Her passion is sparked when she meets the intelligent and charming Edward, who harbors a tragic and broken past and a longing for his own deliverance.

When a pivotal life changing event rocks her world, Bella is forced to make a choice, a choice that will alter her life forever and shake up her safe and untried existence. In a desperate move to take hold of her dreams, Bella finds herself completely and wildly out of control of her life. Will she find the strength to come back from her anguish and grow into a courageous and self-assured woman?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions!

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**Chapter 1: New in Town**

Rough and Ready, California ~ September, 1849

"Get up brother!" Emmett bellowed, pounding Edward on the back and ripping his blankets off. "You've got to go pick up the shipment or Esme's going to have our hides."

Edward groaned, annoyed with the way his brother favored waking him in the mornings. He was half surprised that Emmett hadn't used a basin of water, as he was so keen on doing at times. Edward always bolted out of bed swinging when that was the chosen method, and though he was certainly a force to be reckoned with, Emmett was stronger and it always ended with Edward pinned to the floor, his older brother laughing at his expense.

Edward rolled out of bed, chasing Emmett out of the room so he could dress. Then he went downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Esme gave him something to eat and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for going into town, Edward. I don't know what I'd do without you," she smiled lovingly. Her children were the light of her life and Edward in turn would do just about anything for her.

He put on his boots and went out to saddle up his horse, Chester, and be on his way. This was Edward's first trip into town. Emmett was usually the one to take care of business; however, today Emmett wasn't able to make it so the task fell to Edward.

It was a beautiful September day. The birds were chirping in the pine trees, the sun was shining, and the air was cool. The Cullens were new in Rough and Ready, a small town in the Sierra foothills with the bare essentials: a general store, a post office, a sheriff's station, a blacksmith and leather tanner, a saloon with a small attached inn, and of course a church. As Edward approached the town, he noticed that there wasn't much activity; a few people strolling down the street and a couple horses tied to a hitching post outside the sheriff's station. He nudged Chester to continue on when something, or rather someone, caught his eye.

She was sitting underneath an old oak tree, quietly reading a book next to the Sheriff's Office. Something about her enthralled Edward's attention. She looked completely absorbed in whatever she was reading, softly chewing on her bottom lip, while the breeze blew tendrils of her chestnut hair gently around her face. She looked at peace and Edward wondered what she was reading. She was beautiful, but not in an ostentatious way. Nevertheless, she was captivating. A compulsion to go to her and brush the windblown hair from her lovely face surprised him in its intensity. He had to tear his gaze away from her and force his attention back to the task at hand: collecting the mail. But as he continued on towards the Post Office, his thoughts kept returning to the beautiful girl under the tree.

Arriving at the Post Office, he dismounted his horse and tied him to the hitching post. He gave Chester a pat on his muzzle and strode in the building, hoping to finish quickly and perhaps get a chance to see the girl again. Walking up to the counter, he noticed the Post Master's name plate, Eric Yorkie. The man was friendly enough. Yorkie retrieved the package and handed it to Edward with a smile.

"Welcome to Rough and Ready, Mr. Cullen. I hope you and your family will enjoy it here. We're full of friendly faces, I'm sure you'll find."

"Thank you, Mr. Yorkie."

"Please, call me Eric," he interjected. "Everyone else does."

"Alright Eric, you can call me Edward. Have a nice day." And with that he left the Post Office, quickly mounted his horse, and returned the way he'd come.

Not wanting to wait to find out who she was, he silently prayed that the girl would still be sitting there. As he rode his horse back up the dirt road through town and neared the spot where she had been, he saw the sheriff roughly exit his office and call over to the girl, "Bella, let's go!"

"Okay, Pa." The beautiful girl jumped to her feet, pausing to brush the grass and dust off her dress and ran to meet him. When she reached his side she looked up and caught Edward's perusal.

He tipped his hat with a small smile and even from his view on the horse he could see that the most alluring pink blush accented her face. And what a beautiful face it was, containing deep brown eyes the likes of which he had never seen before. She was stunning.

_Bella. Her name was Bella. Perfect. _

THB~ THB ~ THB

Over the next week he couldn't shake the images burned into his brain of Bella: her brown eyes gazing up at him, the pink stain of her cheeks, and the wind in her hair. Edward had never before believed in love at first sight. Love was something that grew slowly over time, getting to know another person, learning to trust and respect them. He still believed that and yet he was nagged by the strange connection he felt with her. He thought he must be going crazy. He had no idea of her situation or even if she'd been promised to another. The idea of her with someone else was repellant to Edward. He was eager to make another trip to town in hopes of catching another glimpse and perhaps learning a bit more about the lovely Bella.

Unfortunately, there was no chance to go to town as Edward was needed at home to work on the houses. There was much work to be done if they were to be finished in time.

Carlisle had hired the local boys to help with the building to make sure it was done before winter and it was a good thing he did. These "boys" weren't really boys, to be honest. Each of them were mountains of men, their frames even larger than Emmett's. Their help was invaluable; they knew all the ins and outs of building on this rugged terrain. And with their assistance, it was estimated that the last of the houses, Edward's, would be finished by the end of October, before the heavy rains and snows of winter arrived.

It was Saturday and the boys had the day off. Edward was spending the afternoon burying his ax in the pieces of wood that were too small for using to build, splitting logs to store up for the winter when Emmett boomed, "Hey Edward! What do you say we go to church tomorrow?"

"Church?"

"Yeah, well, I don't really care one way or the other, but we've been here for a couple months already and we haven't been and Esme is insisting that we need to go. She said something about being embarrassed and needing to socialize with the locals. I don't know, anyway, she's been wanting to go for a while now and she'll have a conniption if we don't go."

It suddenly occurred to Edward that his beautiful girl would probably be there. Surely the sheriff would have to put in his appearance at the Sunday meeting and his daughter would dutifully be by his side. "Sure Emmett, that sounds great," he said, a smile creeping across his face.

"Really? That easy, huh? Well, Esme will be happy," he said. "Say, maybe you'll even catch the eye of a nice girl. You seriously need to get yourself a woman!"

Edward groaned. "Emmett, don't. Just…. don't." His brother could really be obnoxious and he didn't want all the single girls in town getting the idea that he was on a wife hunt. Although, the prospect of attracting the attention of one girl certainly was intriguing.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning, the Cullens arrived at church just as many other families were walking into the building. Edward grimaced when he saw many young female heads turned in their direction, eyes alight, smiles growing, whispering and giggling. None of these were the girl he really wanted to see.

The pastor quickly approached the new family. "Welcome to our church and to our community. I am Pastor Webber," he said, extending his hand in greeting.

Carlisle and Esme smiled. "Thank you very much, Pastor. I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen and this is my wife, Esme. These are our two boys, Emmett and Edward. And this is Emmett's lovely wife, Rosalie. We have one other child, a daughter, Alice. She is still in Missouri with her husband, Jasper. They will be making the trip out in the spring, Lord willing."

The pastor warmly greeted each person in turn and even managed a small smile from Rosalie.

"I hope you will be very happy here. Please if you need anything, let us know. We want to help you get settled in."

The new doctor and his lovely wife were quite the commodity; everyone wanted to meet them and their children. Emmett was energized by meeting all the new people; his smile contagious to those around. That is until they met his wife. Rosalie was cool and detached, as usual. She intimidated both men and women alike with her beauty and icy disposition. Edward found it almost comical watching the way people exuberantly greeted Emmett and then immediately paled upon meeting Rosalie.

Just then an enthusiastic woman stopped them. "Hello! I am Mrs. Stanley and this is my daughter, Jessica," she said, looking pointedly at Edward. Jessica stood next to her mother smiling up at Edward and batting her eyelashes.

He greeted them as was polite, but tried to maintain the line of disinterested courtesy without appearing rude while his eyes scanned the crowd. Neither Bella nor her father were anywhere to be seen.

Emmett was chatting charismatically with Mrs. Stanley, answering all her questions about how the family with "two handsome young men such as themselves" ended up in town. Before too long she turned her focus on Edward. He had to fight not to roll his eyes as she not so subtly tried to get him to show interest in her daughter. He stood in awkward silence, Emmett trying to cover for his cool demeanor, until it was appropriate for him to get away from the conversation. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to escape before Mrs. Stanley secured a date for him to come to dinner the following night. _Fantastic._ Edward thought. _I'd rather eat boiled water soup and charcoal biscuits than listen to her prattling._

Just as they were finding their seats, Edward heard soft feminine laughter coming from behind him. He glanced back and there was Bella, looking beautiful alongside Jacob Black, one of the Cullens' hired men. Jacob had his arm slung casually around Bella's shoulder and the two of them were laughing and chatting. It was obvious that they cared for each other a great deal. Edward's eyes narrowed. Was she spoken for after all? Bella looked up and, seeing his glare, blushed and looked at the floor. Jacob didn't miss a beat; glaring right back at Edward, possessively placing his hand on the small of her back and ushering Bella into her seat.

"Hey man, what's your problem?" Emmett asked, pulling Edward's gaze away from Bella and Jacob.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Right. You were rude to Mrs. Stanley, who is nice enough to have you over for dinner. You completely ignored her daughter, who was pretty enough. And now you're glaring at our hired help? Brother, something's up." Edward ignored Emmett's surprisingly keen observations as the music started up and he suffered through the rest of the service.

He reluctantly went to the Stanleys' house for dinner the next night, enduring Jessica's inane conversation. But he politely declined any further visits, citing too much work back at the homestead and earning a disappointed look from Jessica. But he didn't care, preferring to appear rude so that he could stay at home and do anything other than have Jessica Stanley foisted upon him.

He returned home, well to Carlisle and Esme's home anyway. Their house as well as Emmett and Rosalie's house was complete. Edward's home was well under way and he looked forward to having it done and having his own space.

He stalked into his bedroom at Carlisle and Esme's house that night and collapsed onto his bed. He was in an irritable disposition and slept fitfully all night long.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Drip, drip, drip, drip. _What is that?_ Drip, drip, drip, drip.

He heard soft sniffling and quiet sobbing. Confusion clouded Edward's brain as he tried in vain to figure out what was going on. An unwelcome sense of familiarity and foreboding invaded his senses.

Cold, hard ground was beneath him as he shivered under a worn and dirty coat.

Then suddenly, a loud noise jolted Edward awake as Emmett burst into his room pounding on his back and whipping open the curtains. "Wake up brother, the boys are here and it's time to work! Get your lazy behind out of bed." Edward squinted against the early morning light streaming through the window, the dream still churning in his mind.

He fumbled out of bed, muttering to himself as he threw on his work clothes, fighting back the images that wouldn't stay gone. _I thought those dreams were finally starting to go away. _

THB ~ THB ~ THB

His mood was foul that week. Between the ridiculous envy he was feeling over Jacob's apparent relationship with Bella and the dream he had, he could barely stand to be around himself. He couldn't even so much as look at Jacob much less work alongside him. To make matters worse, he overheard a conversation he would have much rather never heard. He had just been about to enter the barn when he heard Jacob and one of the other men, Quil, inside.

"Back off, Quil, she _will_ be my wife!" Jacob's voice rung out with conviction.

"I don't know, Jacob. You're practically a brother to Bella. Mind if I give it a try?" Quil asked playfully.

Fortunately, the growl erupting from Edward's chest was drowned out by Jacob's territorial retort of "Don't even think about it, man! We're friends, but I wouldn't hesitate to bury my fist in your face and take you to the ground!"

"Easy there, Jacob." Quil laughed. "I'm just saying, the two of you practically shared a cradle. Do you really think she likes you that way? But I can't blame you, she's beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have her."

"It doesn't matter. Any man isn't going to have her because Charlie has all but promised her to me. I have his full blessing to propose marriage and I intend to do so at the Harvest Dance."

Edward felt sick, which made him feel ridiculous since he had never even spoken with Bella and here he was getting possessive over the poor girl who probably didn't even know he existed. _She'd probably be better off with Jacob anyway,_ Edward thought bitterly. But that didn't mean he liked it.

The following week dragged on. Edward determined to put the girl out of his mind and focus on finishing his house. It really was coming along and should be done within another week. Emmett was excited about the perfect dream house they'd made for Rosalie and couldn't stop talking about how much she loved it and how much he loved her, which only irritated Edward. He didn't want to hear about his brother's love for his wife when his own...

_What am I thinking?_ _I don't know the least thing about her. She could be unbearably insipid or worse, malicious and spiteful for all I know. Not to mention that she might not be interested in me anyway. Even if she were interested, her father has basically given her to Jacob Black!_

THB ~ THB ~ THB

At church that Sunday, everyone was abuzz about the upcoming Harvest Dance the following Friday night. Many of the girls flirted with Edward, batting their eyelashes and smiling. Edward kept his eyes down through most of the service, only looking up occasionally to catch a glimpse of Bella. She was sitting with Jacob again, but he noticed that she glanced over at him several times. Each time he caught her, she quickly looked away, that same beautiful blush coloring her cheeks. The depth of frustration he felt that she was with Jacob surprised him and he left as soon as he could get away once the service was over.

On Tuesday he had to go to town to pick up an order from the General Store. Thoughts of Bella flitted across his mind as he passed the Sheriff's Department but she was nowhere to be seen and he quickly redirected his thoughts to the upcoming completion of his house. As he walked into the small store he spotted Mrs. Webber, the pastor's wife, at the counter. An older woman with a kind face, she had her dark hair pulled into a bun and a pencil behind her ear. His boots clicked against the wooden floor as he walked over to inquire about his order.

"Of course Mr. Cullen, it arrived just this morning. Let me go fetch it in the back for you." She left quickly to retrieve it, leaving Edward to look around.

As he was glancing around the small store he heard something drop behind him. He turned around and saw a pair of wide brown eyes he'd know anywhere staring at him, a book lay on the floor at her feet. The ubiquitous rose blush appeared in Bella's cheeks and Edward acted on impulse, bending over to pick up the copy of _Romeo and Juliet_ to hand it to her.

"This is yours?"

"Yes," her voice squeaked out and her cheeks grew impossibly darker. "Thank you."

Edward's heart began to race. Despite all attempts to the contrary, Edward had completely failed at shaking her from his thoughts. He couldn't help it; he had to keep her talking regardless of the consequences.

"I'm Edward Cullen."

"Bella Swan," she said, looking anywhere but at Edward.

"So Bella, do you always read boring old English men?"

He wasn't sure where that came from but if his goal was to get her talking, that certainly did it. She rose to her full height of what couldn't possibly be more than 5'4" and looked boldly into his eyes, her cheeks reddening again.

"For your information, Shakespeare was a genius, truly amazing. Apparently, nothing you would understand."

Edward smirked, enjoying the rise he got out of her. _For crying out loud she's beautiful._

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night." Edward breathed, looking deep into her warm brown eyes. _Had he really just said that out loud?_

For a moment, she said nothing, her mouth open slightly, eyes looking a bit startled. Then she seemed to regain control.

"Go ahead, mock it," she huffed.

_Apparently he had said it out loud._ "Forgive me. I'm not mocking. I actually have a great appreciation for Shakespeare." _Now there was a man who clearly understood the way in which a beautiful girl in such a short space of time could wholly arrest the attention of a man._

The spark in her eyes softened and her blush abated. "Oh. I'm sorry, I… I spoke out of turn."

"No, I was out of line, I apologize," Edward insisted, the corner of his mouth turning up into a half smile.

Again, Bella looked stunned and Edward couldn't bear to say goodbye and so he said the first thing to come to mind.

"So, have you lived here long?" _Stupid!_ Edward berated himself. _What a great conversationalist I turn out to be._

Now it was Bella's turn to smile. "Yes, I've lived here my whole life." She was so unbelievably beautiful. "And you are new to town. Where did you and your family come from?"

"Missouri. Our sister and her husband are still there. They will be joining us next year."

"Oh how wonderful for you all. But you… you have no wife?" she asked shyly, and then her cheeks colored again. Edward was really beginning to love that.

"No. Not yet that is," he answered. He had always longed for a wife and family that he could cherish and provide for, but he had never met anyone in whom he had been interested enough to pursue as a potential partner, not until now anyway. He very much hoped for the chance to rectify that. His thoughts returned to Jacob Black, the man who would stand in his way. _The man who probably deserves her more_, his thoughts nagged.

"Well, here it is!" Mrs. Webber chose that moment to reappear with Edward's order.

Bella was fidgeting now. "Well, I should be getting back, I suppose. My father will be wondering where I am." She looked down at her book and a stray piece of hair fell into her face.

Edward's hand was itching to smooth it back away from her face but he restrained himself and instead nodded his head giving her a much more appropriate, "Good day then." But he couldn't resist adding, "I very much hope to see you again soon and become better acquainted with you, Bella."

At that, her eyes shot to his, which were gazing intently back at her, and she responded, "I would like that, Edward."

_Those eyes and that blush will be the death of me_, Edward thought. At that, Bella took her leave, walking out the door, onto the street, and out of sight. He forced his gaze back to Mrs. Webber, who stood quietly observing the interchange that just took place in her store.

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**A/N: So, how did you like it? Let me know in the form of a review!**


	2. Harvest Dance

**Edited 6/4/11: I apologize if you are getting an alert for this story and you thought it was being updated. Since this was my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind, there were numerous mistakes. I'm going through and doing minor editing of things such as grammar, etc. I am choosing to leave the story as is with the exception of minor changes because I think it's kind of nice to see growth in an author's work.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions! She is so awesome!

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**Chapter 2:** **Harvest Dance**

Bella put the last of the pins in her hair, not really caring as to how it looked. Her father, Charlie, however, did care and wanted her to look beautiful for the Dance. So to honor him she had curled it as well as she was able and pinned it up. Her dress had been special ordered by him, a rare indulgence that Bella saw no use for. It wasn't common for her father to be so concerned about the way she looked. In truth, he had never cared before. He had no ideas regarding fashion or beauty, not that Bella had much of an idea herself. But he really wanted her to look beautiful for Jacob in the petal pink off the shoulder gown.

_Uggh. Jacob,_ Bella thought. In all honesty, she did love Jacob. She loved him more than any other boy she knew. But Jacob was practically a family member and her father just couldn't see that she had nothing more than a brotherly devotion to him. As she readied herself for the dance, she felt as if there was a large rock taking up residence in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't imagine actually having to dance with him. They had danced together as kids, just playing around, but definitely not the way they would be sure to dance tonight. Jacob had been increasingly free with his casual touches in the last few months and on more than one occasion, Bella had needed to extricate herself from what could only be described as his longing gazes and loving embraces. She couldn't fathom hurting him and yet she also couldn't imagine marrying him.

It was Charlie's dream that she and Jacob marry. He and Billy, Jacobs's father, had been life long friends and they both thought that Jacob and Bella were the perfect match.

"He'll take care of you Bells. You'll never have to worry about anything with him as your husband," he had told her.

She tried to tell him that she didn't love Jacob that way but it only made him dig his heels in further.

"I just want you to be happy and cared for. He'll make you happy. You two get on so well and you do love him. You should be grateful. Many girls don't even know the men they marry much less have such a close relationship with them."

Of course she knew he was right but she couldn't help feeling that there was something more out there. It was times like these that she longed for her mother, wishing she was still alive to talk with.

She took one more look at herself in the mirror and sighed. _Well, I guess this is as good as it's going to get_. Walking down the hall she heard Charlie and Jacob talking in hushed tones. A strange sense of foreboding came over her about the evening to come and she considered feigning a headache and staying home. But she couldn't disappoint her father and Jacob was so excited, she couldn't bring herself to do that to him.

As she stepped into the room where Charlie stood with Jacob, she heard a sharp intake of breath and looked up to see a motionless Jacob with his mouth hanging slightly open. In his hands, he held a bouquet of roses.

Charlie spoke up first, "Hey, Bells, you look nice."

Jacob just stood there for a moment then seemed to find his voice, clearing his throat "Yeah, really nice."

Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She was so uncomfortable, she couldn't help but see the little boy she had made mud pies with when they were four years old and here he was gawking at her like she was his last drink of water.

_Why can't I feel a spark with him the way I did with Edward? Uggh, I really have to get rid of those thoughts._ _No good will come from them. If nothing else Jacob is kind enough to take me to the dance, not that I really want to go. But still, I should be grateful. _

"Thank you," she said, looking at the floor not wanting the attention.

"These are for you, Bells" Jacob said, handing her the roses.

"Oh, thank you. Let me just go put these in some water," she said, walking into the kitchen.

Charlie followed closely behind. "Bells, you really do look beautiful. Jacob is a lucky man tonight."

"Pa, please don't start this again."

"Listen, just keep an open mind. He's a great guy and you won't find one better…"

"Right, Pa," she cut him off, "I'll think about it," and she walked back out to join Jacob who had a huge grin on his face, holding his arm out for her to take.

They left the house and got into Jacob's carriage, riding quietly to the dance, neither of them quite knowing what to say. It was unusually awkward. They had never before had awkwardness between them. She looked over at him and the huge grin was still plastered on his face.

"So, Bells, I've been working really hard lately, taking extra jobs to save up some money," Jacob said looking over at her.

She didn't like the direction this conversation seemed to be headed. "Oh, really? What have you been doing?"

"Well, the boys and I have been working for the new Cullen family building their houses. They're trying to finish by the end of the month and they're paying real well too."

The mention of the Cullens brought back those feelings that Bella was so carefully trying to avoid. Edward, with the evergreen eyes who had captured her attention the first time she saw him in the General Store. She wondered if he'd be at the dance. She wondered whom he would take. Jessica Stanley certainly had her sights set on Edward. Of course every young single girl in town did. The Cullens' arrival had been the talk of Rough and Ready and specifically the handsome Edward and his potential for a mate. The thought of Edward attending the dance with anyone else made her uncomfortable, which was completely inappropriate since she was Jacob's date. _Jacob… he was still talking._ _What was he saying?_

"So I figured, maybe April when the weather gets nice again. What do you think?"

_Uh oh, what do I think about what?_ "Umm, April is always a beautiful time of year."

Jacob broke out into another grin, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Yes it is, isn't it?"

_Oh this is going to be a long night. _

They arrived at the town square as the sun was setting and dozens of others were arriving at the same time. The old barn looked beautiful all lit up. People were milling in and out and there was a buzz of excitement as they chatted with each other in groups. Around the barn, lanterns were hung in the trees, there were pumpkins and various other squashes and gourds used as decoration. There were also beautifully colored leaf garlands strung everywhere. It was breathtaking. Jacob helped her down from the carriage and placed her hand in the crook of his arm. They strolled over to the barn and went inside with the countless others already getting the evening started with a glass of cider and plenty of mingling.

They took a turn around the barn and found Quil and his date, Claire. They chatted for a little while about the building project and the canning that Claire had been doing. After a little while Quil and Claire went to visit with other friends and Jacob left to get Bella some cider.

She stood uncomfortably, surveying the room, wishing that the night was over with. The dance committee really had done a lovely job decorating. Just like outside, lanterns were strung up all around the barn. They were even suspended on wires at different places overhead. Hay bales sat at different intervals for people to sit on should they get tired and a band was stationed on one side, tuning their instruments and getting ready to start playing.

Almost everyone was there, it was a very nice turn out. As Bella continued to scan the room she saw the Stanleys, though Jessica was not with them. She was over in a corner hanging on the arm of Edward Cullen. A foreign spike of jealousy shot through her at the sight. _Where did that come from?_ She didn't even know Edward, much less have any reason to believe he might like her. Oh, but that conversation in the General Store had mesmerized her. The way he had quoted Romeo had literally taken her breath away and she had almost thought he was flirting when she considered the way his eyes bore into hers and he expressed his desire to "become better acquainted."

Edward's bronze hair was a tousled perfection and Bella couldn't help but notice that he looked heartbreakingly handsome in his suit, but his beautiful face almost looked annoyed. Jessica looked to have stars in her eyes as she gazed up at him and prattled on about Lord knows what. Bella tore her eyes away from the sight and began fidgeting with her hair.

The band began to play just as Jacob returned with their cider. He gently took her hand away from the stray lock of hair she was worrying between her fingers and kissed the back of it. He handed her the cider and said, "You are so pretty, Bella. I am the envy of every man in here tonight."

"Thank you, Jacob," she said quietly. She highly doubted his assertion and sincerely did not want those kinds of compliments from Jacob Black.

He leaned a little close for comfort and asked "Would you do me the honor of a dance, Bells?"

This was just what she was hoping to avoid for a little longer or put off altogether. But this was a dance, so she felt she had to do her duty. "Okay, but I can't promise I won't step on your toes or make you fall."

"Don't be silly. It'll be fun!" He took her cider and placed it on a table next to a hay bale, took her hand, and led her out to the group of people beginning to dance. He put his hand on her hip and took her other hand in his own and started to move. The music was lively and Jacob was jovial and carefree. He was silly, making funny faces at her and she couldn't help but laugh. She had to admit to herself, she did enjoy it. This was the Jacob she loved. He was so bright and warm, easy and fun. They danced around the barn, all the while Jacob exuding happiness so that she couldn't help but smile and laugh breathlessly. Their personalities complimented each other so well and they rarely fought.

_Would it be the worst thing in the world to marry him? I would be happy; or at least… I wouldn't be miserable. _

Just then the song changed to a softer tune and Jacob slowed his step, drawing Bella slightly closer. And just like that the lighthearted mood suddenly became charged, making Bella uneasy. Jacob's eyes darkened, he became much more serious as he dropped his face to her ear. "I've wanted to hold you in my arms like this for a long time," he whispered against her neck.

She shivered, but not out of pleasure, and said nothing. They moved along to the music in fluid motions. Jacob was a good dancer and kept her from embarrassing herself too much. She tried to will herself to relax in his arms. Jacob was a good man. He would provide for her and they would enjoy each other's company. He loved her and maybe she could learn to love him like he wanted. But as hard as she tried to convince herself, she couldn't get comfortable in his embrace. It was all wrong. Where his arms were large and muscular she wanted a leaner set of muscles encircling her. Where his eyes were dark she imagined vibrant green. And where his hair was smooth and black she longed to run her fingers through a beautiful mess of bronze.

_Where is this coming from? I can't keep letting myself be so affected by someone who is not an option._

Jacob reached up and brushed her hair back from her face. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. Instead her gaze sought _him_ out, standing against the wall, now alone and scowling. Scowling… at her? It certainly looked as if he was looking at Bella. But why would he be so angry? What did she do? No, she was certain she couldn't have done anything. She hadn't even spoken with him since that day in the store. But yet, there he was looking for all the world as if he hated her.

_Well, it serves you right for having these ridiculous notions in your head about him. _It would definitely help her to focus on Jake if Edward didn't like her.

The band continued to play and Jacob never let her out of his grasp for a minute. They danced several more numbers, all the while Jacob giving her longing looks, whispering in her ear, and tenderly caressing her face, neck, and arms. She couldn't believe she wasn't swooning. If she were a sane girl she would be, she thought. Jacob was handsome, kind, funny, considerate, and very loving. But she just couldn't enjoy it. She was feeling more and more unsettled by the glares that Edward was casting her way. It was very clear to her that he wasn't simply in a generally sour mood. He appeared to be directing all that disdain at her. She became increasingly uncomfortable, needing to be out of Jacob's embrace, needing air. She had to get outside; away from the crowd, away from the music, and away from Edward's malevolent glare.

The band paused between songs and she took the opportunity she'd been looking for. "Jacob, I need to get some air."

"Great idea, Bells. Let's take a walk. The night isn't too chilly and it's beautiful outside," Jacob smiled down at her.

He took her hand in his large calloused one and led her to the door. She could feel Edward's eyes boring into her as they went. Stepping out into the refreshingly cool night air, she took a deep breath. Jacob led her around the side of the barn and they wandered a bit from the party among the trees.

"You look so beautiful tonight," Jacob breathed.

She shifted uncomfortably but managed to say, "Thank you, you look very nice yourself."

"Bella, I've been wanting to tell you… that is… um…"

_Please not right now. Please not right now, _Bella thought.

"I know you have seen me as a friend in the past. But… umm… I've never seen you as a friend."

"Gee thanks, Jake." She laughed, trying to lighten the mood that was growing much too serious for her liking. She suddenly realized just how far they'd gone from the barn.

"No! I mean, I've always seen you as more than a friend. I mean… someone with whom I could make a life," Jacob continued, nervously running a hand through his black hair. "Even since we were kids, I knew. I just knew that you were it for me; that there would never be anyone else that I would want."

_I've got to get out of this._

"Jacob – "

"No, Bella, let me get this out. I just need to get this out," he said shakily. "Bella," and he stopped walking, taking both her hands in his and facing her. "I love you. I always have and I always will. I can't imagine my life without you," his eyes bore into hers with an urgency.

"Jacob, I…"

"I don't want to imagine my life without you. I told you that I am thinking about moving into my new home in the spring, and I am. But Bella, I want to build a life with you. I don't want to move into that house alone. I mean… You don't have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know. I mean, I think you already knew, but I just had to say it." His eyes shone with a light she'd never seen before and it broke her heart. She loved Jacob, but not in the way he deserved.

She had to stop this. She knew her father would be furious that she'd wasted her best chance but she also knew that she just couldn't continue with this. "Jacob, please. I do care about you… more than you know." She looked up into his eyes, willing him to understand. Tears clouded her vision, one spilled over and Jacob gently brushed it away. "I can't bear to do this to you… but I just don't love you like you want me to."

He stopped her, "It's okay, Bella. You'll learn to love me. I know you will. We are meant for each other; perfect for each other. Even our parents see it. Bella, it will make our relationship so much richer having our parents be so close and knowing we have their full support. Charlie knows what's best for you. Don't you see? We could be so happy together." The light still shone bright in his eyes and Bella's heart clenched.

It was so painful. _How can I hurt him?_ She could see that he would be devastated. "Jacob," she closed her eyes, "I just," she felt his hands grab her upper arms and suddenly he silenced her words with a crushing kiss. His hold on her arms prevented any retreat and he continued to kiss her as though his very life depended on it. At first she was so shocked she couldn't even respond. Then she squirmed in his grasp, fighting the kiss with everything she had. But in his passion he didn't notice.

"Nnnn…" She tried to say, still fighting, but his feverish lips made it impossible to speak. _I can't do this. I can't do this._ Tears streamed down her cheeks. And then there was nothing. His hands were ripped from her arms, he was thrown back and she fell to the ground, gasping for air.

The sound of Jacob's angry growls shattered the still night air. She looked up to see Edward pinning him to the ground, his knee pressed into Jacob's upper back, his foot holding one of Jacob's hands down, Edward's hand holding the cursing man's neck down and other arm twisting Jacob's arm up behind his back.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. How could anyone take Jacob down? Jacob was massive and here he was writhing on the ground, cursing and spitting, demanding to be let up.

"Where I come from you don't force yourself on a lady," Edward snarled.

She was frozen in place, still trying to catch her breath.

"Let me up, Cullen," Jacob ground out. Then he let out a string of curses the likes of which she had never heard before.

This only seemed to enrage Edward further. "Watch your mouth in front of the lady!"

"Cullen, if you don't get off me…"

"You'll what?" Edward asked as he pressed down harder with his knee and twisted Jacob's arm further back.

"Ahh!" Jacob cried, sweat pouring off him in the cool evening air.

"No," Bella whispered but she was not heard above the struggle. "No," she said a little louder.

Edward looked up at her, obviously still enraged.

"Please, don't hurt him," she entreated.

Edward's face smoothed out and he paused for a moment, considering her plea.

He looked back down at Jacob and begrudgingly said, "I'm going to let you up now. Do you think you can behave yourself?"

"You can go to hell, Cullen!" Jacob spat.

"Should I take that as a no?"

Groaning, Jacob stopped struggling and said, "Just let me up!"

Slowly, Edward released the pressure on Jacob's arm and cautiously rose off of his back. Jacob jumped up, his face beet red and squared his shoulders at Edward.

"Don't ever lay a hand on me again or I'll make you regret it," he threatened.

"Don't give me reason," Edward growled.

Bella couldn't believe how quickly the evening had taken a turn for the absurd. Jacob, her lighthearted best friend declared his love, kissed her, is attacked by Edward Cullen, and the two were now involved in a stand off.

Jacob turned to her, never taking his eyes from Edward. "Let's go, Bella."

She was frozen in place. There was no way she felt comfortable going anywhere with Jacob in that instant. But she couldn't very well walk all the way home in the dark either. Her hesitation only seemed to irritate him further.

"Bella, come," he commanded.

Edward looked at her with an unreadable expression as he seemed to sense her trepidation. "Go home, Jacob. I'll make sure Bella gets home safely. She's not going anywhere with you right now."

"The hell she isn't! She's mine… my date, that is, and I'll take care of her!" Jacob's chest expanded as he took several large strides towards her but was cut off when Edward blocked his path.

"Jacob, go home or I'll be forced to take actions you will sorely regret."

Bella started to panic a little. She didn't think Edward even liked her after the looks he'd been casting her way inside the dance and now she had to ride home with him? But what were her other options. She couldn't very well interrupt anyone else's evening. And who would she ask anyway?

"Bella, come on sweetheart, let's go," Jacob tried again.

"I'm not going with you, Jacob," she squeaked.

Jacob's face dropped for just a second before again turning livid. "Have it your way! I'll come by the house to see you in a couple days and we can finish our conversation." Then he stalked off into the darkness before Bella could disagree or say anything else.

The night was suddenly very still and quiet. The only sounds to be heard were the far off music of the dance and the frogs and crickets singing their night time melody.

Edward turned around, his face softening, yet still unreadable. Holding out his hand to help her to her feet, he said "Are you okay, Bella?"

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**A/N: So did you like it? Let me know in a review!**


	3. Two Steps Forward

******Edited 7/4/11: I apologize if you are getting an alert for this story and you thought it was being updated. Since this was my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind, there were numerous mistakes. I'm going through and doing minor editing of things such as grammar, etc. I am choosing to leave the story as is with the exception of minor changes because I think it's kind of nice to see growth in an author's work.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions! You rock!

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**Chapter 3:** **Two Steps Forward**

Bella sat quietly, seemingly frozen in place for what seemed an eternity, blinking her eyes, her mouth hanging slightly open. Edward started to worry that perhaps he had been too presumptuous offering to take her home.

_Maybe she would rather go home with someone else. Maybe she is scared to be alone with me. It's true, she doesn't know me from Adam. She has no idea that I have purely innocent intentions with regard to her… well mostly innocent. _

Finally, she found her voice. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Just a little shaken up is all," she said as she laughed nervously.

She took his outstretched hand and stood to her feet, brushing her skirt off as she regained her balance.

"Thank you… umm… for helping me out," she stammered, looking at the ground.

"It was my pleasure, Bella. It just looked like you weren't entirely welcoming his advances." The memory of Black laying his lips on Bella's made him cringe. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, more embarrassed than anything, really," she said, her cheeks flushing delightfully in the pale moonlight.

"Well… would you like to go back into the dance?" Edward entertained the idea of dancing with her. _Would she_ dance with him?

"Oh… no. I don't think so…"

"Oh, okay… Well, would you like to go home then? I'd be happy to take you," he said, trying not to sound overly enthusiastic. He would have made sure she was safe regardless, but the fact that he had come alone on a single horse with no carriage didn't escape his attention as he thought about the two of them riding his horse back to her house.

"I wouldn't want to impose on you. You should really get back to your date," she said, looking at the ground again.

He was sure his face must have registered his confusion but then again she wasn't looking at him. "My date? Bella, I don't have a date."

Her eyes shot to his and her cheeks filled with color once again. He was really starting to love that. "Oh," she said, "I thought… never mind."

"Well, seeing as how I have no date and I really didn't want to be at this dance anyway, would you like to accompany me back to your house?" He smiled at her, desperately hoping she'd say yes. He thought about how nice it would feel to hold her in his arms on the back of his horse.

She was quiet for a moment, seemingly considering his offer. Then she gave him a shy smile that weakened his knees. "Okay, that would be very nice of you Edward."

He couldn't restrain the large grin that broke out across his face. "Great! Okay, well, let's go then."

They walked in silence back towards where all the carriages and horses were being kept. As they walked, Edward surreptitiously stole glances at her. She was lovely, as always, in her pale pink dress that nipped in at her small waist and displayed her beautiful, creamy shoulders. The rustle of her petticoat marked her steps while the crickets and frogs sang their moonlit serenade. They came near to the old barn and passed the open door. Lively music and the sounds of people dancing and laughing poured out. Bella didn't seem interested in the party in the slightest as she peeked over at Edward. She realized he was watching her and she smiled and looked back to the ground. He really would love to know what she was thinking about at that moment.

He had to remind himself that she had just been attacked by one suitor. He needed to be more than cautious with her as she probably didn't want to be pawed by another man that night. They approached the carriages and horses and Edward started to get nervous. While he very much looked forward to the both of them riding his horse, Bella was a decent girl and might have objections to the closeness of such a ride with a virtual stranger.

He took her hand and led her to the horse.

"Umm… I'm very sorry but I came alone on just my horse. I don't have a carriage to take you home in, so if you're uncomfortable with us riding together you can ride and I will walk alongside."

She stopped and looked up as he untied the reins to the stallion. "Oh," she fidgeted with her dress and looked around her as if weighing her other options.

He really didn't want her changing her mind and deciding to find someone else to take her home so without warning he took her waist in his hands and hoisted her up onto the horse, side saddle, before she could object. She let out a squeak of surprise.

Once she was settled atop the horse he looked up at her in question and to his great pleasure, she said quietly, "Don't be silly, Edward. If you walk, it'll take hours to get to my place and then you'll still have to go home. You'll be out all night."

His mind gave a shout of victory and he tried not to appear overly eager. "Well, I wouldn't want Chief Swan sending out the deputies looking for you because you're out all night," he said.

He placed his foot in the stirrup and lifted himself onto the horse behind Bella. He settled his arms around her, holding the reins while keeping her safe. She made a sharp intake of breath and stiffened a little.

"It's all right, Bella, I've got you," he said softly as he thought about the various meanings of that statement.

He directed the horse in the direction of Bella's house and set out. Her body remained stiff but she leaned into him with the motion of the horse and he leaned into her, justifying that he wanted to keep her safe. Her small body was so soft and he longed to really take her in his arms.

"So… Edward, how do you like it in Rough and Ready?"

He smiled at her attempt at conversation. "It's very nice here. I love living in the mountains."

"And what about the people? How do you like them?"

"They're all… very welcoming." He said with a note of sarcasm and smiled his crooked grin.

She laughed a little. "Yes, I know what you mean. I've lived here my whole life and still feel like an outsider at times. Not that that is your problem. I mean… people seem to have taken to you quite easily," she seemed to be choosing her words carefully. "So, if it's not too personal of a question, why didn't you take a date to the dance?"

He was quiet for a moment, deciding how to answer her question. "Well," he cleared his throat, "the only girl I wanted to take was already being accompanied." His voice was husky and with the way her breath hitched, he thought for a moment that she knew he was referring to her.

She was quiet for a while, so they rode in silence. The sky was clear, the moon and stars were bright in the sky and she shivered a little in his arms. "Are you cold?"

"Just a little bit. I left my wrap in Jacob's carriage."

He bristled at the mention of Jacob and willed himself to let it go. He removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders, encouraging her to put her arms in the sleeves.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that. It was my fault for leaving my wrap."

"No, it was that brute, Jacob's fault for accosting you like that," he growled. "I'm sorry, it's really none of my business," he said, not really feeling sorry but also not wanting to scare her. He rubbed her arms through the jacket trying to warm her.

Again she was quiet. _Wonderful, now I've upset her_.

But she spoke up after a moment saying, "Jacob didn't mean me any harm. I think he just believes that he could convince me…" she trailed off. "I mean, he thinks that we are perfect for each other, and really we should be. He thinks that if I just gave it a chance I would be happy, and maybe I would." Edward fought the urge to disagree with her. "I really didn't want to come to this dance anyway. My father wanted me to go with Jacob. He thinks I should marry him. I think he has half a mind to force me but then the other part of him wants me to choose it. He thinks I'll come around," she said in a rush. "I'm sorry, I've said too much."

"No, it's fine, Bella. I'm happy to listen, really."

"So, you said you didn't want to attend the dance either. Why did you come, then?"

"Umm… Well it was a favor to Esme, my mother." He let out a breath and continued, "She has always wanted me to find love and be happy like my other siblings. She thought maybe I'd spark an interest in someone at the dance. But as strange as it may be, I've only ever had interest in one girl. And I've had no indication that she returns those feelings."

"No… that doesn't seem strange at all," she said softly.

They were turning onto the road leading to her house and he knew their time was drawing to a close. He never wanted to stop talking to her and he felt the need to get to know as much about her as possible in the time he was given. He didn't know when or if he'd have the chance to talk to her again and he hoped Jacob wouldn't convince her to his way of thinking when he made good on his promise to see her in a couple days.

"If I may be so bold, what would your father say if you chose someone else?" He held his breath, wondering if she caught what he was really interested in.

She looked up at him, her brown eyes questioning, "I don't know Edward. He is really set on Jacob and his dream of our marriage. He and Jacob's father have basically been planning it since we were kids. It would be difficult for him to let go of that." She was thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose if there were someone that made me happy then it would depend on who it was."

He could see the light coming from her house approaching. He had one more question that was gnawing at him. If she didn't understand his intentions with the last questions, would she see through him with this one? "And how would your father receive another man coming to ask to court you?"

She was quiet again for a moment. "Oh… umm… he'd probably want to make sure the man could provide for me and all the usual fatherly stuff. I'm sure he'd want to make certain he was of good character and that he would treat me well." She looked down and continued. "But really, that's not likely to happen as I don't seem to have any other prospects at the moment." A half smile graced her face and she said, "Maybe I should run away and become a teacher."

Did she really not see how he was captivated by her? In that moment, he just had to touch her. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out and cupping her cheek. He was surprised to find that it was damp with tears. "Bella, I'm sure your father loves you very much. You should tell him your concerns. And truly, Bella, you are beautiful, kind, and intelligent. Any man would be lucky, no, not merely lucky, blessed beyond measure, to have you as his companion in life." Her eyes were wide and she had stopped breathing. The urge to kiss her was overwhelming but there was no way he could act on it. She hardly knew him, not to mention all that she'd been through in that night. He had to lighten the mood. "Not that I think you should, but if you knew this marriage to Jacob was expected, why didn't you 'run away and become a teacher' as you say?"

She laughed lightly. "I could never do that to my father. Ever since my mother died, I'm all he has. It's the same reason I even put up with all this Jacob talk. I would do anything for him. Even if it means I give up a few dreams, it's the least I can do for him."

Edward mentally added _completely unselfish_ to the list of her virtues. In spite of this further revelation of her good character, his heart clenched on hearing that. She would marry that jerk for the love of her father. She would be a martyr. What kind of father would force his daughter into a marriage she didn't want? And he knew his answer; many fathers would do it for money or more selfish reasons. At least Charlie Swan truly believed Bella and Jacob would be good for each other and that Jacob would take care of her. But what if he saw an alternative? Dare he allow himself to hope for it? An alternative that perhaps would make his daughter happy too? But could he make her happy? She seemed to enjoy his company and if her blush was any indication, he thought she was attracted to him. At this point he couldn't deny that he'd devote everything to the pursuit of her happiness.

They arrived at her house and Edward dismounted the horse. He reached up and lowered Bella to the ground. He allowed his hands to linger on her waist for just a moment. A strand of her chestnut hair was blowing in the night breeze and he couldn't resist brushing it back from her face gently.

She looked into his eyes and said a little breathlessly, "Thank you for bringing me home, Edward."

He realized that he was too close and he forced himself to step back. He couldn't be sure that he wouldn't do something inappropriate. "It was my great pleasure, Bella." He took her small hand in his large one, raised it to his lips, and placed a small kiss on her soft skin. And there was that beautiful blush coloring her cheeks once again. She held his gaze and he was almost positive that she returned his feelings.

Too soon she stepped away, leaving him for the light of the house. He watched her go, marveling at the depth of his feelings for her in such a short space of time. But something in him cried out to her and he couldn't deny it. She was special; extraordinary even. He truly had never felt this way about anyone before.

_Wonderful, I sound just as moony as Emmett and Jasper when they first met their wives._ This was exactly the type of situation he had sworn he would never fall into. Oh, but he wouldn't have traded the way he felt at that moment for anything!

Edward got back up in the saddle and headed for home. He couldn't have wiped the grin off his face to save his life. As he rode for home, he resolved in his mind to pursue her. She deserved another option other than Jacob Black and he would offer himself as that option. He only hoped she would give him the chance. Then a cloud came over his bright mood. He only hoped _Chief Swan_ would give him the chance. Edward had to get by him first, and it would have to be delicately done.

He decided he was up to the challenge.

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**A/N: So did you like it? Let me know in a review!**


	4. Gone

**Edited 8/9/11: I apologize if you are getting an alert for this story and you thought it was being updated. Since this was my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind, there were numerous mistakes. I'm going through and doing minor editing of things such as grammar, etc. I am choosing to leave the story as is with the exception of minor changes because I think it's kind of nice to see growth in an author's work. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Gone**

Bella walked into the house in a daze. The night had ended so differently than how it had begun. She couldn't believe she had just ridden home on a horse with Edward Cullen. She hadn't even thought he liked her with the way he was glaring during the dance; but it was hard to deny that he was almost certainly flirting with her on the way home. He had been so kind and considerate and Bella hadn't wanted to leave to come inside the house. But she couldn't very well stand outside making eyes at him in the moonlight, especially with Charlie waiting up.

But why had he been glaring at her? It just didn't make sense. How could he go from hating her one moment to being so amazing the next? A nagging suspicion ate away at the back of her mind. He had seen Jacob kiss her. He had challenged Jacob. She hoped it wasn't just a game; male competition, making Bella the prize. No, Edward had been friendly with her in the General Store too. He surely didn't know about Jacob then.

"Bells? How was the dance?" Charlie interrupted her contemplation.

"Oh, it was fine, Pa, thank you."

"Why didn't Jacob come in?" he asked.

_Uh oh._ She quickly debated her options. She never could lie well but he would surely be upset to learn the truth. On the other hand, he'd probably learn the truth from someone else anyway. She decided that it was best just to tell him herself. "Uhh, Jacob didn't bring me home."

"What?" A look of concern crossed his face. "Why not? Where is he?"

She looked down at the full skirt of her dress, "I'm not exactly sure. Probably at his house."

"What aren't you telling me, Bells? Who brought you home?" he demanded. It was clear he wasn't going to let this go without a full explanation.

It was so embarrassing, how could she possibly tell him all the details? "Umm, Edward Cullen brought me home, Pa."

"What?" he thundered.

"Well, Jacob and I went to the dance and it was nice, we danced for a while and it got really stuffy in there and I needed air so he took me outside for a walk. He… he kissed me, Pa, and I couldn't, I just couldn't! I know you really want it to work out between us and I thought I could do it but I don't think I can," she rushed to get out.

"Oh no. What did you do?" he groaned. "So let me get this straight. You went to the dance with Jacob and came home with some other guy? Bella, that's not like you."

"No, Pa! Jacob kissed me and… Ahh, this is so embarrassing! I couldn't do it, so I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me go. I mean, I don't think he realized I was trying to get away. Anyway, Edward stopped it."

But he stopped her there, "I'm going to have to smooth it over with Billy now. Bells, I'm not going to be around forever. It's my duty to find someone to watch out for you when I'm gone and Jacob will do that. He may have gotten a little carried away, but he loves you! He'll make sure you're taken care of! What is so terrible about that? You care about him, how can this be so difficult? Sometimes Bella, sometimes you really drive me crazy." He was almost shouting and then he abruptly turned away to leave the room. Bella felt tears streaming down her face. But before he left he looked back and said with a sigh, "And sometimes… we have to do things that we might not necessarily like but we do them because it's what is best for us. And I can see now that I am going to have to do what is best for you even though you can't see it. I have no choice, Bella." He walked away and all the emotions from the evening crashed over her in a tidal wave of tears.

It was obvious he had made up his mind. He was a stubborn man, she inherited that trait from him. She knew the decision had been made and Jacob would be her future. It didn't matter that she had this… whatever it was, with Edward Cullen. _Not that I have anything with him, just… something… for him, and it's most likely one sided._ It didn't matter because she knew she would be married to Jacob Black by Christmas, she was sure of it. Charlie didn't waste time and when he made his mind up about something, he didn't hesitate to make it happen.

She went to her room, dressed for bed, and laid down. But sleep was an elusive thing.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning dawned bright and early. Bella dragged herself out of bed after a night of crying and resigning herself to a future that she didn't want. She felt ungrateful and overdramatic since she could hardly say she wouldn't be well taken care of. She also knew that she would have enjoyable companionship in her marriage. It was just that she had dreams of passionate love and a future where she felt fulfilled in her role as wife and mother; not merely mediocre, amiable feelings for her husband. And not only that, she wanted to matter in the world. Not that being a wife and mother didn't matter and obviously it was a very high calling; probably the highest calling she could ever have. But she felt as though there was something outside the home for her such as helping in the community in some way or teaching children and she didn't see anything like that happening with Jacob. He wanted a conventional life where he would provide for the family while his little wife would be home darning socks and taking care of the little ones. It was far from a horrible scenario, it just didn't fit the dreams that Bella had for herself.

Washing her face in the basin and dressing in a house dress, she readied herself for the day. She walked out to the kitchen and got a pan out to cook eggs and bacon for breakfast. She wondered if she'd even be able to eat anything after the turmoil of the previous night.

The meal had just been put on the table when Charlie walked out and sat down. He was dressed in the nicest clothes he owned and had his boots on.

"Good morning, Bells," he said, looking at her cautiously; no doubt taking in her puffy face.

"Good morning, Pa."

They sat in silence, him eating and her mostly pushing the eggs around the plate. When he finished his cup of coffee she poured him another one.

"Look, honey," he said.

"No, Pa, it's fine."

He watched her for a moment before glancing down and letting out a slow breath of air through pursed lips. "Bella, I love you. I'm sorry for yelling at you last night. I know you have dreams. You're very much like your mother in that way. She always had these bright sunny visions of what our future would be… I'm not saying it's bad and I'm not telling you not to have dreams, it's just not always realistic. It's not real life," he sighed heavily. "I don't want to have to force you. But I will make sure you're taken care of… and reasonably happy. And Jacob will do that for you, baby." He looked at her then and gave her a small smile.

"I know, Pa. I know you're just looking out for me and that you're doing this because you love me. I understand." She let out a shaky breath. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I don't want this, I do understand." She looked down at her plate, a single tear streaming down her cheek. "I mean, really, it could be so much worse. Jacob will be good to me."

He was never much for displays of affection but he reached out and took her hand, squeezing it lightly. "That a girl, Bells. I know this is hard for you. I mean, it's hard for me. I don't want to lose my little girl. But it's my duty and I will do what's right for you." He looked around uncomfortably and sighed. "Well, thanks for breakfast. I'm going to speak with Billy and Jacob this morning, all right?"

Nodding glumly, she said, "Yeah, all right."

He stood up, gave her a kiss on the top of her head and walked out the door. Even though she had resigned herself to the situation and thought her tears had all run dry, she burst into tears once again. After a few moments, she dried her eyes, collected the dishes and took them to wash. She resolved that she was done crying over this. Jacob was a good man. She cared deeply about him and didn't want him to see her upset over what he so clearly was excited about. She would make the best of her situation. _I have much to be thankful for. So I won't have adventure or passion; at least I will have friendship and respect._ That would be enough.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The day waned on and Bella busied herself with the household tasks. Knowing her father wasn't going into the office that day she was expecting him back any time. He wouldn't stay talking with Billy and Jacob all day. They would make the arrangements and then he would be back. _So why hadn't he returned?_ It was almost supper time. Her stomach had been churning in anxiety over the impending betrothal anyway and now there was a bothersome worry compounding it. _Why wasn't he home?_ He would have said if he planned to be gone this long. Maybe she should go on over to Billy and Jacob's and see what was keeping him.

Putting the pie she had just taken out of the oven out to cool, she wiped her hands, and hung up the apron. She stepped out the door and noticed her father's horse wandering around the barn but Charlie was nowhere to be seen. A sense of foreboding overcame her spirit. She ran to the barn and called for him but he wasn't there. She took his horse and was about to hoist herself up to take off looking for him when she heard the sound of thundering hoof beats. Turning, she saw Jacob approaching on a horse, Charlie lying over the horse in front of him.

Jacob pulled up to a short stop in front of the house. Bella ran for them just as Jacob was hauling her father off the horse. He was bleeding from a wound on his head. The blood was everywhere.

She let out a strangled cry. "What happened?" she asked frantically.

Charlie was groaning and mumbling incoherently. Jacob kicked the door open and carried him over to the settee.

"I don't know! He left our place shortly after lunch. He had invited me to come for dinner and I found him on the trail on my way over. His head was laying on a rock."

She ran for some water and some cloths and brought them back. His breathing was ragged and he was looking blearily back and forth.

Shoving Jacob out of the way she started to work, putting pressure on his wound and cleaning him the best she was able.

"Oh, Pa, what happened to you?"

He was still groaning and she couldn't understand what he was saying. "Renee…" he mumbled and then he said something else she couldn't make out.

"Shh, Pa, shhh. It's all right; you're going to be all right. Jacob, hold this." She placed his hand on the cloth putting pressure on Charlie's head. "I'm going to give you a little water to drink." She tried to sit him up but he suddenly grabbed her hand, his eyes shooting open.

"Bells, be happy." His eyes looked wild and she felt frantic.

"Pa, we're all going to be fine. Just calm down."

"Promise me, baby. Promise me," he demanded.

"Okay, Pa, I promise, I'll be happy. But you don't need to worry; you're going to be fine."

He seemed a little soothed by the promise and he laid his head back again. Bella spooned a little water into his dry cracked lips and he swallowed, but barely. His breathing became shallow and evened out and he started his nonsensical mutterings again.

She turned to Jacob, "You have to go for the doctor."

"I know, but are you going to be all right?"

She took the cloth from him and continued applying pressure. Wiping her brow she almost yelled, "I'll have to be, Jacob. Go!"

"Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can," he called as he ran out the door.

Time seemed to stretch on for what seemed to be an eternity. Charlie was quieter. He hadn't said anything in quite some time. She kept pressure on his head, occasionally smoothing his brow or giving him a little water to drink. But his face was looking ashen and she was really getting scared. She knew she couldn't break down, though; needing to stay strong for him.

She didn't know what time it was, but the sun was getting low in the sky. Charlie's bleeding had stopped but his breaths were very shallow and few and far between. He was completely still and Bella was starting to panic when the sound of hoof beats on the path could be heard. Running to the door she saw Jacob coming in with Dr. Cullen.

"Thank God you're here!" she said as they got off their horses.

"How is he?" Dr. Cullen asked as he ran up the steps into the house and into the room where he lay.

"I don't know, he's been unconscious for quite some time and he doesn't look good." Bella fought the urge to cry as she stood wringing her hands and watching Dr. Cullen look over her father.

Jacob came up beside her and put his arm around her. Clinging to him, she waited to hear what Dr. Cullen might say.

He was grim, checking Charlie's pulse, looking in his eyes, and examining the wound. This was essentially Bella's first encounter with Carlisle Cullen and she didn't know what to expect.

He let out a long slow breath and stood up to look at Bella. Her eyes were wide and she clung to Jacob with all she had.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm afraid you will have to prepare yourself. There's nothing I can do. He's lost too much blood. I fear he only has minutes left."

She felt as if he had just struck her in the face. _This wasn't possible. How could this be? No, he had to be wrong. _"No! You're wrong, check him again. He's going to be fine," she said with fierce determination. It was all she had to go on.

Carlisle walked slowly over to her and took her hand. It was only then that she realized she'd been holding on to Jacob so hard that she could have drawn blood. Dr. Cullen looked compassionately into her eyes and softly shook his head. "No, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You had better say your goodbyes."

Tears clouded her vision and she nearly collapsed. How was this possible? He had been fine this morning! What happened to him? This couldn't be real; it had to be a horrible dream. But even so, she allowed Jacob to lead her over to her father. She stiffly kneeled beside him and dropped her head to his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, but it was faint and sluggish.

Tears streamed down her face as she whispered "Daddy, don't leave me." Jacob stayed beside her, rubbing her back and supporting her. "I love you, Daddy."

She stayed there for several minutes, sobbing on her father's chest when Dr. Cullen said "He's gone, Bella."

She collapsed onto Jacob, who had tears of his own running down his cheeks. He held her and smoothed her hair. "It's okay, baby. I've got you. I'm so sorry but I've got you. I'll take care of you now."

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**A/N: So are you still with me? I love getting your reviews and hearing what you like and don't like! Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, that has put me on alert, or that is just reading my story! I appreciate you!**


	5. Deflated

**Edited 8/9/11: I apologize if you are getting an alert for this story and you thought it was being updated. Since this was my first attempt at writing fiction of any kind, there were numerous mistakes. I'm going through and doing minor editing of things such as grammar, etc. I am choosing to leave the story as is with the exception of minor changes because I think it's kind of nice to see growth in an author's work. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions!**

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**Chapter 5: Deflated**

Edward awoke the morning after the Harvest Dance replaying the ride home with Bella in his mind. He felt like a complete sap but he couldn't bring himself to care. Bella was amazing. She deserved better than to be stuck in a marriage that she didn't want. He couldn't be sure he was what she wanted, but he was going to find out. Now he just had to figure out how to talk to Charlie Swan.

Crawling out of bed, he walked into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee when images began to flash across his mind. _Bella's beautiful blush._ He took a bite of a biscuit and a swallow of orange juice. _Bella's deep brown eyes. _He washed his face and dressed for the day. _Bella's chestnut hair, blowing in the breeze. Oh, I have it bad._

But he did have things to get done. The houses were finished, so he thought he'd work on the bed he was making with the lumber harvested from the land. He had already sawed all the pieces and was busy smoothing each one with the plane.

Emmett came out around noon with some roasted chicken, potatoes, and corn. "Where'd you get that?"

"Mrs. Stanley brought it for us. Brother, you have got to show some interest in that daughter of hers. This is really good!"

"Mrs. Stanley's daughter is unbearable."

"Aww, come on, Edward. She's not so bad."

"Actually, Emmett, she is so bad," Edward said, shaking his head as he thought about Jessica. Then his thoughts turned back to the girl he did like.

"Say, what's going on with you? You're smiling. It has to be a girl. Who is it if it's not Jessica?"

"What makes you think it's a girl? Maybe I'm just enjoying this lovely weather we're having."

Emmett snorted, "Right! Weather has never impacted your mood before, no matter how nice. So let's hear it!"

Edward put down the plane and smoothed the wood with his hand. "Well, Emmett, if you must know. There is someone I'm interested in."

"Ha!" Emmett slapped his brother on the back, nearly knocking the wind out of him. "I knew it! Who is she?"

Edward looked down at his boots. "Umm… It's Isabella Swan," he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"What? Swan? As in Chief Swan's daughter?"

"Well… yes."

"Oh man! You got a death wish or something?"

Edward looked up abruptly. He knew Charlie Swan was a hard man but he hadn't been afraid of him. "Why do you say that?"

"Everyone knows he's set on her marrying Jacob Black. The way I see it, you've got to battle both the Chief and Jacob Black. Brother, good luck to you," he said, laughing, as he gathered up the food. "So, what's your plan?"

Jacob Black didn't worry Edward. He'd taken him on before. It was the chief that gave him some concern. Charlie'd been setting his sights on Black for years. If Edward somehow won him over to his way of thinking _and_ managed to woo Bella, he'd have to keep the Chief happy for years to come so that he'd know he'd done the right thing by his baby girl.

"Well, I know it's going to be tough. But if I'm right, then she's worth it. I think for starters maybe I'll invite them over for dinner tomorrow after church with the family. What do you think?"

Emmett's laughter boomed across the barn. "Yes, well I guess you've got to start somewhere! Maybe Carlisle and Esme will win him over for you!" he called out as he walked out of the barn, laughing.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Edward trudged up the steps to Carlisle and Esme's that evening for supper. Opening the door, he scraped his boots on the step and walked in.

"Hello Ma," he called.

"In the kitchen," came her reply.

He walked through the parlor and into the kitchen, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Mmm, smells good in here." She and Rosalie were busy finishing up the evening meal.

"Thanks, honey, it's pot roast with potatoes and carrots, your favorite."

"Where's Dad?"

"Jacob Black came and asked him to go help with Chief Swan. He was quite insistent."

The mention of Jacob Black made him bristle, but concern came in the next instant. "What's wrong with Chief Swan?"

"From what I could gather, he was badly injured and desperately needed medical attention. Carlisle grabbed his bag and rushed out. I'm not sure when he'll be back," she said, while placing the bowl of potatoes on the table.

Edward's thoughts raced, wondering what could be wrong with Bella's father. What had happened? Was Bella hurt too?

"How long ago was that?" Edward asked trying to determine how long his father could reasonably be expected to be away. Of course he knew that it completely depended on the severity of Chief Swan's injuries… and if there were any others hurt. He let out a shaky breath at that thought.

Emmett came walking in from outside, grabbed Rosalie, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her soundly on the lips. "Missed you Rosie!" he boomed. "Pretty soon I'm not going to be able to get my arms around you, you're getting so big!"

"Oh, hush up, you beast!" Rosalie retorted, smacking his arm as she escaped his grasp.

The family gathered around the table and the meal began. It was all Edward could do to eat his food and not jump out of his chair, barrel out the door, and race to the Swan residence to make sure that Bella was all right. The sounds of friendly banter were all around him as Emmett, Rosalie, and his mother took part in conversation over the meal, but Edward couldn't participate. He was sick to his stomach with worry. His ear was tuned for the sound of approaching hoof beats that might signal his father's arrival and news of what had happened.

"What's the problem, little brother?" Emmett demanded. Edward looked up and realized that all three of them were staring at him with matching expressions of concern. All their food was gone and Edward was still pushing the same few pieces of meat around his plate.

"Uhh, nothing. Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

Emmett started chuckling. "Mm hmm, I'll say."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rosalie asked.

Edward sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Edward's got a lady on his mind," Emmett said with a twinkle in his eye, elbowing Edward's shoulder.

"Be quiet, Emmett," Edward said.

"Really? Who is she Edward?" Rosalie joined in.

"Leave him alone, children," Esme's soft voice admonished, but there was a light in her eyes that Edward knew. She had longed for the day when he would find a girl to complete his life. She had always worried about him being alone.

"It doesn't matter. Just drop it," Edward said. He couldn't deal with his siblings' jibes while he was so nervously awaiting news of what was happening at the Swan residence.

Emmett laughed a little then changed the subject. "So Ma, where's Dad this evening? On another medical call?"

"Yes, apparently Chief Swan was badly injured so he went out to see if he could help."

Emmett's eyes went immediately to his brother, but Edward did not meet his gaze. Instead he stood up suddenly and started taking dishes into the kitchen to be cleaned. The subject was not brought up again.

Later that evening, everyone sat around the wood stove. Esme and Rosalie were both working on their stitching and Emmett was busy stoking the fire. Edward had a book, but couldn't focus on the words. Before too long, he heard the telltale hoof beats against the dirt, signaling what he hoped was Carlisle's arrival. It took every ounce of control he had to stay rooted in his spot and wait patiently for Carlisle to put the horse back in the stable for the night and come inside.

Emmett had finished with the fire and was watching Edward watch the door. After what seemed like an eternity, Carlisle finally walked in the door looking as though he had been through battle. He was obviously tired and looked dejected.

"Oh dear, you look exhausted, come take off your boots and let me get you some supper," Esme exclaimed.

Carlisle sighed deeply and did as Esme suggested.

"Dad? What happened with Chief Swan?" Edward asked. He couldn't wait another second.

Carlisle's weary eyes dropped to the floor and he shook his head. "He's gone. There was nothing I could do for him."

Edward shot out of his chair. "What happened? Is Bella all right?"

"We don't know exactly what happened, but Jacob Black found him on the trail with his head resting on a rock, bleeding profusely. There was nothing I could do. He was too far gone, having lost too much blood," Carlisle relayed, shuffling into the dining room to sit down.

Edward followed him, visibly shaken. "And what about Bella? Where is she? Is she okay?"

Carlisle met Edward's panicked gaze, suspicion in his clear blue eyes. "Bella is at home. She is as well as can be expected. Of course, she is distraught, as anyone would be upon losing their father. Jacob is caring for her. She is in good hands."

"Jacob!" Edward spat. "What business does he have caring for her? What of her reputation?" Bella's reputation was not his main concern; truly, he just couldn't imagine Jacob comforting Bella in this time. He desperately wanted to be the one to take Bella into his arms and make everything all right for her, or as all right as it could possibly be.

"Edward," Carlisle admonished, "Jacob Black and his father are the closest thing to family that Isabella has now. They will take good care of her. No one will question her integrity at a time such as this. Besides, they are to be wed anyway. She needs the support he can give her."

Edward's heart plummeted into his stomach. "Wed? Who told you they are to be wed?"

"Jacob told me. Charlie had just made the arrangements this morning with the Blacks and was on his return home when he was injured. I imagine the process will be rushed along now that Isabella has no father to care for her. She needs a husband now more than ever." Edward felt his hopes falter upon his father's words. _This can't be,_ he thought. Bella was the only girl to catch his interest, and to be honest not just his interest but he was sure his whole heart. He was beginning to believe, as strange as it seemed after such a short time, that he truly loved Bella.

"What is going on with you, Edward?"

"Oh, umm… nothing. I think I'm just tired. I should head home."

Edward thanked his mother for the lovely meal and bid goodnight to everyone, heading out the door into the brisk night air.

He knew from the way that Bella had responded to Black's unwelcome kiss and from their conversation on the way home from the dance that she didn't really want to marry him, that she was only going along with it to please her father. Would she be open to his advances or would she hold unswervingly to her father's last wishes, albeit wishes that were predicated upon incomplete knowledge. Edward simply couldn't let her believe that Black was her only option.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

_This is it. No turning back,_ Edward thought. He paced nervously back and forth across

his porch, tugging at his hair. He shifted violently between barely controlled excitement and nearly crippling nausea. _How would she react? Would she be relieved that she didn't have to marry Jacob? Would she be interested in marrying me? Would she be disgusted that I would approach her at a time such as this?_

Edward stepped back inside and went to his mirror. He smoothed his hair into place, well as good as it was going to get. He was freshly shaved and looked like he was going to be sick. Putting on his best jacket and hat, he summoned up all his confidence, strode out of the house, got on his horse, and was off.

_How will I approach this? Maybe proposing marriage to her outright isn't quite the best strategy. Should I just try to befriend her? Invite her to come stay with Carlisle and Esme so she won't be alone and perhaps buy some time so that she wouldn't feel she was forced to marry immediately? Carlisle and Esme wouldn't mind if I explained the situation. Surely they wouldn't want her to marry against her will._ Edward's inner monologue continued along this path until he found himself approaching the Swan residence. His stomach churned and he felt his palms beginning to perspire. As strange as it was, he wasn't nervous at the thought of marrying Bella. He knew that he was beginning to love her and that those feelings would continue to grow and blossom under the appropriate care such as marriage. He was only nervous at what Bella's reaction would be.

He turned his horse towards the house and saw that there was another horse at the hitching post outside the home. _Black_. He hadn't thought how he would handle things if Jacob were present. Just then Jacob came barreling out the front door, slamming it closed behind him, and nearly running towards his horse. His hat was under his arm and he had a crumpled up piece of paper in his fist. A loud roar erupted from his lungs and he threw the paper on the ground before continuing to his horse. Just then he became aware that he was not alone.

Angry black eyes met anxious green. "What in the hell are you doing here, Cullen?"

"I've come to express my condolences." Edward forced himself to temper his visceral reaction to Jacob's aggression. "Is Bella inside?"

"No, she's not! Now stay the hell away from my fiancée. I never want to see you back here again!"

Edward couldn't help the animosity that crept into his voice. "Are you certain that's what Bella wants?" Edward wasn't sure if he was referring to her being Jacob's fiancée or him visiting there again. It didn't matter either way.

"Don't push me, Cullen! I have no time for you," he said as he swung up onto the saddle of his horse and tore off as though he couldn't move quickly enough.

Edward took a deep breath to calm himself._ That was strange_, he thought. Dismounting his horse, he tied it to the hitching post, intending to go inside looking for Bella. He didn't entirely believe Jacob that she wasn't there and he wanted to make certain for himself.

He had only taken a couple steps when his eyes fell upon the crumpled up paper that Jacob had thrown in his fit of rage. He stooped down to pick it up, curiosity getting the better of him. He only felt slightly bad about looking at it, but nevertheless he carefully opened up the now dirty piece of paper. He saw feminine handwriting and he gently brushed the dirt from the letter.

His blood ran cold at what he read.

_Dear Jacob,_

_I am deeply sorry. I cannot do this. Please, do not hate me, but I cannot marry you. I need to find my own way. My father wanted what was best for me, but now that he is gone I do not believe that marriage is it. _

_I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. I just can't stay here in this home where I shared so many years with my Pa and I can't marry you. So that leaves me no other option but to go away. I'll be fine. I have a little money and I'll find work. Please let me be, Jacob. Please don't look for me. Know that this is what I want and I will find my happiness. _

_I care for you a great deal, just not as the wife you deserve should. You deserve someone who will love and adore you. I pray you find that._

_With my deepest gratitude and affections,_

_Bella _

Edward exhaled roughly as though he'd been punched in the gut.

Gone.

Bella was gone. He would go after her if he only knew where she would have gone. He had no idea if she had any other family. He suspected not since Billy and Jacob were apparently all she had apart from Charlie. For all he knew, she could be on her way to San Francisco to board a ship for the Orient. He wondered how long ago she'd left. She most likely left in the middle of the night to get a head start, knowing that Jacob would follow her. It was now just after noon and she could be anywhere… with anyone. He grimaced to think of her traveling the roads alone in the middle of the night with God knows what kind of characters around. Rough and Ready was relatively safe but bandits lurked along the highways and scoundrels were known to lay in wait for unsuspecting young women. To think that Bella could get caught up with the likes of them or worse was unbearable.

But realistically, what could he do? She could have gone north, south, east, or west. He had no hunches as to what way she might have chosen and even if he did, she clearly did not want to be found so she would be hiding. He remembered her mentioning running away and becoming a teacher, but that could be anywhere.

He briefly considered finding Jacob and demanding he tell him what he knew and where he thought she had gone. But he knew that would be fruitless. At this point Jacob wouldn't give him the time of day, much less information that would help Edward find Jacob's beloved. That was if Edward could even find Jacob. The way that Jacob had torn out of here, he was sure he had already gone looking for her.

And even if Edward did, by some miraculous intervention, manage to find Bella, how could he convince her to come home. He had no assurances of her feelings, not to mention the anguish she was certainly experiencing over the loss of her father. How would she be able to return to the place her father was, where Jacob also was, knowing that he and her father, along with Billy Black, had made an arrangement for them to marry.

No, there was nothing Edward could do.

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**A/N: So are you still with me? I love getting your reviews and hearing what you like and don't like! Thank you to everyone that has reviewed, that has put me on alert, or that is just reading my story! I appreciate you!**


	6. Sacramento

**I'm so sorry for the delay! We moved to a new house over the last weekend and even though the order was in a week and a half ago the phone company still doesn't have our phone and internet up and running yet. Grrr. So now I'm at the library doing internet business and thought I'd post my next chapter! It's a long one. Hope you like it!**

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Chapter 6: Sacramento**

It was hot and dry and Bella's feet ached from the long journey and from trudging through the streets of Sacramento desperately looking for work. With every pass of a wagon or carriage the dust swirled around her in a cloud as she walked along the boardwalk. The day was waning on and she knew she would need to find a place to sleep where she would be safe before the streets were filled with loud drunks and other unsavory characters she knew would be flocking to the saloons and brothels for the night. She knew if she could just find the right place to work at, be it shop or diner, she'd never have to depend on anyone to provide for her. She could do it and she wanted to make Charlie proud, that is if he could have seen her.

He had only been gone for two days but so much had changed since then. The void left by his passing was a cacophony in her soul. It screamed louder than the bustle of traffic in the crowded streets. She had been numb when Dr. Cullen had told her that he was gone. Soon, the men came to take her Dad's body. Jacob's tender words and reassurances fell upon virtually deaf ears as she closed into herself. He had stayed with her well into the night, rubbing her back, whispering promises, and providing a strong chest to lean on. In the early morning hours he put her in her bed, told her he loved her and that he'd be back for her in the morning. It was then that her mind raced into action. Charlie had arranged for her marriage to Jacob and she knew that Jacob would likely want to marry within a couple weeks to take care of her. But she didn't want his care. Charlie had asked her to be happy. More than anything, at the end he wanted her to be happy. And as much as she cared for him, she knew that she wouldn't find that with Jacob.

She knew that her only chance to get out of this marriage was right then. If she stuck around any longer, she was not likely to escape. So she quickly got out of bed, wrote a note to Jacob, packed a few belongings and the little bit of money in the house, and left in the middle of the night on foot. She considered taking her father's horse, but then she'd have to provide food and care for him and she couldn't guarantee she'd have the provisions for that. She walked along the road praying that she would be safe all alone.

She second guessed her decision more times than she could count but still she continued, fueled by pure adrenaline and the instinct to flee. She thought that she might eventually like to become a teacher, as she had once dreamed. It would take a while to find a position like that so she knew she would have to find something for the immediate like a job as a cook or sales clerk. She decided her best chance was to go to Sacramento.

It was a long trip and several times she was offered rides by leathered and toothless miners. She declined each time and kept on walking.

She stopped for the night on Sunday evening in a small inn along the way. Only in the privacy of her room did she allow herself to break down. Her whole world had been turned on its head and she had lost everything she ever knew. She was all alone and she could only rely on herself now. The thought was terrifying yet in a strange way exciting at the same time. She would be starting over and could live her life the way she wanted, not the way everyone always expected of her.

She was so weary and exhausted from all the walking that she fell asleep rather quickly. Granted it was a fitful sleep, plagued by dreams of her father. They all started out happy, such as the one where Charlie was pushing her on the tree swing when she was a little girl. Her mother was even in some of the dreams, smiling at her and hugging her. She reveled in her mother's affections but the dreams all ended with her parents vanishing leaving Bella feeling lost and abandoned. She woke the next morning with tears streaming down her face.

She had arrived in Sacramento late Monday afternoon. She was sure she looked a fright so she had stopped in a small diner and had a cup of coffee. She asked to use the wash room where she cleaned her face and arms the best she could before setting out to look for some kind of work.

She spied a general store she hadn't yet tried. There was no sign indicating they needed help. She steeled herself against the inevitable rejection and went inside to inquire for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. The store was clean and offered an array of goods, everything from materials to fix a wagon to the latest fabrics from New York. There were a few customers browsing the merchandise. Behind the counter a friendly looking blond gentleman that looked to be about her age or perhaps a little older stood helping a woman purchase some grain.

Bella waited politely until he was finished and then stepped up to the counter. "Excuse me sir, would you happen to have any work for me? I am a quick study and I could do anything you need me to do including working the shop or cleaning or cooking for you."

"Well, hello there. And what might be your name?" the man asked with a smile lighting up his face.

She forced herself to return his smile. "My name is Bella Swan, sir."

"Well, Bella, my name is Michael Newton and I am pleased to make your acquaintance," his blue eyes twinkling as he spoke. "I sure could use a pretty girl like you around here. Are you new to town?" He leaned on the counter towards her giving her a wink.

"Yes, sir, I am new to town. Mr. Newton, I'm a very hard worker. Please, I may be small but I could even haul merchandise and stock shelves, anything you need."

"Bella, call me Michael. I've been looking for a cook here for me. I'm dreadful in the kitchen, myself. It won't pay too much but I can offer you a nice place to stay as part of the compensation. I have an inn above this shop and I would be willing to offer you a nice room to stay in for as long as you are in my employ."

Bella was stunned that after all her searching, Michael would so quickly offer her a position without testing her abilities.

"I hope you'll say yes, I sure wouldn't want a beautiful and virtuous young girl such as yourself out on the streets alone at night. There aren't many like you around here. We have plenty of opportunistic scoundrels and ladies of questionable employ. I would hate for you to be vulnerable out there." He leaned even further in while Bella took a small cautious step back.

The offer was tempting and Bella did need a place to stay. Michael was friendly, a little too friendly if she were being completely honest. But what other option did she have? She would spend her free time looking for something where she could feel more comfortable but until then she would make the best of this situation. At least she'd have a roof over her head and hopefully enough money to provide food and other basic needs.

"Thank you for your kindness sir, I think I will accept that offer."

Michael stepped out from behind the counter and casually walked over to Bella "I'm so pleased. You can start in the morning, but for tonight let me provide you with supper. Surely you must be hungry." A small smile crept across his face as he leaned down towards her.

Bella was becoming a little nervous but she was indeed hungry. "Thank you sir, that would be nice." After all, she hadn't eaten all day.

Michael took a step forward and grasped her hand. "Please Bella, call me Michael." He took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm. "Well, let's go then. I do look forward to becoming better acquainted with you." With that, he led her back out onto the street, locking the door behind them and over to a small diner a couple spaces down.

As Bella and Michael sat down at the diner she was pleasantly surprised. She would have been happy with a modest meal of soup and biscuits yet Michael insisted she have roast beef or chicken or some other hearty fare. He was a little awkward but conversed happily throughout the meal. Bella found him to be kind if not a little overeager with her.

As they finished up their food, Michael paid the bill, shrugging off Bella's attempt to cover her portion. Although it made her a little uncomfortable to accept, she was also relieved as she had very limited funds.

They left the diner and headed back to his store and inn. He showed her to her room and stayed a little too long chatting amiably with her. "I'm so pleased you've come to work and stay. I will enjoy your company, I'm very certain," he said, smiling down at her. "Well, I should let you get some rest. I'll need you in the kitchen tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. Please do let me know if you need anything. I'm happy to help, darlin'."

When he finally left, Bella sat on the edge of the bed, exhaling slowly, and taking in her surroundings. It was a simple room, but it was adequate. She didn't know how long she'd be staying. If Michael continued to be as friendly as he was, she may be forced to leave sooner than later. But she decided not to worry about that just then.

She stood and poured a basin of water to clean herself up from the long day. She dressed in her nightclothes and got into bed.

Staring at the ceiling, with the sounds of drunkards in the streets she thought about home. She thought about Charlie, tears streaming down her cheeks till she thought she would cave in on herself. She thought about how she would miss his funeral and how she had left those details unfinished for Billy and Jacob to take care of. She felt horribly for that, but she knew that if she were to be happy as her father had made her promise she had to leave when she did.

She thought about Jacob and what he must have been doing at that moment. She assumed he probably had looked for her but didn't know for how long. She hoped not too long. He was undoubtedly upset. She knew he loved her and had loved her all their lives. What a mess she'd made. She wanted him to be happy and to find what was best for him and she knew that she wasn't it. One day, he would realize it and be grateful.

Then she thought of Edward. This bronze haired stranger had waltzed into her life and made her feel things she never had before. If only things could have been different. Her heart longed to feel his arms around her as she had riding home from the dance with him. She thought about the feel of his soft lips on her knuckles as he bid her goodnight outside her father's house. Then she felt terribly ashamed for having such thoughts when she had only just lost her father.

With streaks down her face, she fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of a hidden danger and mournful green eyes.

While she slept she had no idea of the malevolent forces working toward her destruction. She hadn't seen the greedy and calculating eyes that followed her earlier in the day as she'd walked the streets. But _he_ had been intrigued and now the maneuvering and machinations were in motion and the stage was being set.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning Bella went down to the kitchen to start breakfast for Michael. She had no idea what he would like but searched the pantry for ingredients to see what she might make him. She made a mental note of items she would have to purchase at the market. Finding plenty of flour and some eggs and milk she made flapjacks for him with scrambled eggs. She found some oranges that she cut up and arranged on the plate for him and filled a small glass with milk. Just as she was putting the finishing touches on, Michael came into the kitchen with a smile on his face and a spring in his step. He sat down at the small table and she took him the meal.

"Fix a plate for yourself, Bella, and come join me."

She did as he asked and sat down.

His eyes followed her movements, taking in her beauty. He couldn't deny he was enamored by her.

"So did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Yes, I did. Thank you so much for the very nice room."

"My pleasure, Bella," he said, his eyes never leaving her face.

"I'm sorry for the simple meal. I will go to the market today to purchase ingredients for some heartier meals."

"Bella, this is wonderful. I'm tired of going over to the diner for every meal. It's so nice to spend the morning here with you."

She shifted in her seat, looking down at her plate. She hadn't taken any bites and it didn't escape his notice.

"Aren't you going to eat any? It's very good."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose I should eat something," she said, laughing a little.

Michael chatted easily about the day to come, then telling her about some of the events in Sacramento in recent days. Things had gotten so crazy with the clamor for gold.

Bella mostly pushed the food around her plate, avoiding Michael's intent and energetic gaze. She had difficulty listening to what he was saying. She couldn't stop thinking about everything back home.

After they were finished eating she stood and collected the plates and took them to the sink to be cleaned.

"What kinds of things do you like to eat, Michael?" she asked as she scrubbed the plates.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll like anything you cook." She hadn't known he had come and stood beside her. When he spoke she jumped, dropping the plate she'd been cleaning and breaking it on the floor.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry! Please, go sit down and I'll clean this up. I'll be happy to pay for this, I'm so sorry!" she said, trying to shoo him away, but he wouldn't budge.

"Don't be silly, Bella. I startled you. I'll clean this up, it was my fault anyway." Michael walked over and got a broom from the closet and cleaned up the mess while Bella picked up some of the bigger pieces.

"Thank you," she said a little sheepishly. "So, you really have no preferences as to what you would like to eat?"

"No, I really don't. As long as you're cooking it and keeping me company, I'll be happy," he said with a large smile and a wink of an eye.

"Oh, ok." Bella internally groaned at his obvious flirtation.

Bella made a trip to the market that morning and picked up some basic necessities. She returned to the store and set to work immediately in the kitchen. She had purchased two whole chickens that needed to be cleaned and cooked. She put one in a large pot of water with some vegetables and fresh herbs to make a stock. The other she roasted for lunch. She decided to make a cornbread dressing with fresh apples and walnuts to go along with the chicken for lunch. To round it out she cleaned and cooked some string beans.

Michael frequently poked his head into the kitchen to give her a smile and say hello. He was such a likeable man but Bella already had her wheels turning on ways to move on fairly quickly as his overly flirtatious nature made her uncomfortable.

They ate lunch together. Michael began asking questions about Bella and how she ended up in Sacramento. She was as evasive as she could possibly be without appearing rude. She simply told him that her father had died and she needed to find work to support herself. The look of compassion in his eyes was genuine, which only served to make Bella feel guilty yet again for not appreciating him, his generosity, and kind disposition.

After lunch Bella set to cleaning the kitchen and working on dinner. She strained the stock, cleaned the meat off the boiled chicken, and set to making a chicken soup. She made some dumplings to put in the soup and with the extra chicken she made some chicken salad for sandwiches. She stepped outside to snip some fresh herbs from the small windowsill garden when a striking woman with flaming red hair and dressed very elegantly passed by and gave her a smile. Bella returned her smile and nodded her head in greeting. She returned to the kitchen and finished preparations for dinner.

When Michael joined her for dinner he was his usual chatty self. But after a few minutes he grew quiet and cleared his throat a few times.

"Are you alright?" Bella asked him.

"Oh yes. I was just wondering. Well, there is a benefit at City Hall in a couple days and I wondered if you would join me," he looked up, hope shining in his clear blue eyes "as my date, that is."

Bella just stared at him, not knowing how to respond. There was no way she could go with him as his date. It was already awkward enough with the way that he tended to get too close at times. She couldn't stay here. She knew then that she had to leave sooner rather than later. She resolved that as soon as dinner was finished she would head out and look for other work. Suddenly she realized that she had been staring at him for longer than was appropriate with no answer to his question. He had started to fidget with his napkin.

"Michael, you are very kind to invite me. I am so flattered. But I am just not able to accompany you. I'm so sorry."

"Oh… Well, it's no problem," he said with a forced laugh and smile. "Gee, Bella this dinner is amazing! I'm afraid you're spoiling me with all this great cooking."

She looked down and said "Thank you Michael. I'm glad you like it." With that she stood, collected the dishes and cleaned up from dinner.

She came out of the kitchen to see him cleaning up the store. "I'm just going to head out for a walk. You don't need to wait up for me," she said, giving him a small smile.

"Ok, Bella, be careful. Don't stay out too long," he said, an expression of concern painting his features.

"I'll be careful. Thank you." Bella stepped out of the door and immediately started entering businesses, just like she had the day before, looking for some kind of work. Again, she tried diners, small shops, butchers, bakers, and everything in between. She was beginning to get discouraged and starting to accept the idea that she'd have to stick it out with Michael for a little longer. She found a bench and decided to sit down for a rest before returning to the inn for the night.

She watched the shopkeepers closing up for the evening and the horses pass by in the streets. She thought about her father and about how much she wanted to make him proud. She wondered if she should have just married Jacob as he had wished. But she knew that more than anything he wanted her to be happy. She would just have to press on through the rough beginning till she was able to find her place.

Just then a sultry voice interrupted her musings. "Are you alright, dear?"

Bella looked up quickly to see the beautiful red haired lady that she'd seen earlier in the day holding a handkerchief out to her. It was then that she realized that she had been crying. She'd been doing so much of it lately that she hardly noticed when it happened anymore.

"Oh, yes thank you," she said taking the handkerchief and dabbing her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"I understand, honey. These can be rough times for a woman."

Bella did not respond but considered the elegantly dressed lady before her, thinking that she couldn't possibly understand what it was to be in the position she found herself in at the present moment. This woman looked incredibly wealthy and as though she'd never put in a rough day's work in her life.

"My name is Victoria, by the way," she said as she sat down next to Bella.

"I am Bella, it is nice to meet you."

"It is lovely to meet you as well," she said with a smile. "Do you live around here, dear?"

"Umm, well I guess you could say that. I have a job working in a General Store and I live there," she said looking at the ground.

"Ahh, I see. And you are not happy in your place there?"

Bella laughed a bit. "Is it that evident?"

Victoria smiled kindly and said "Let's just say I've had my share of rough positions and I recognize the look. If I may be so bold, are you looking for a new line of work?"

Bella didn't see any harm in sharing with her. After all, she had been in every business in the area asking for work. It wasn't a secret. "Yes, I am. I need to find something fairly quickly. I cannot stay where I am."

Victoria seemed to ponder this for a moment before looking into Bella's eyes "Well, my establishment is looking for hard working girls to serve customers. The owner is quite accommodating and I'm sure he would love to meet you, that is, if you think you can work hard."

Bella's eyes lit up. This woman offered her the first bit of hope she'd had all day. "Oh, I can assure you that I am a very diligent worker. I am happy to serve customers; I can do just about anything, though. I am a very quick study and I love to learn new things!"

"That is good. We like our employees to be open to new duties. But you must be very certain. Not every employee has the skills necessary and many are not up to the task. As I say, the owner is accommodating, but he can be a hard man. He has high expectations and does not accept second rate work."

Victoria's business must be very prosperous indeed for her to be so beautifully dressed and have such hard working employees.

"Oh, Victoria, I am very certain I am up to the task! By the way, what kind of establishment do you run? Is it an eating establishment?"

"Yes, we do have a restaurant." Victoria answered. "I think you would make a brilliant server."

Something nagged in the back of her mind but she quickly disregarded it in her anticipation of escaping the awkward situation with Michael.

"Victoria, as I said I am a very diligent worker and I am sure I am capable of any assigned task. Would it be possible for me to meet the owner? I would love the opportunity to work for him!" She could easily wait tables for a few months while she saved up money and looked for a teaching position. Her mind raced with excitement over the possibility. Michael had been so wonderful to her but she couldn't handle the constant tension of his flirtation and she knew it would only get worse with time.

"Of course, my dear. I am sure he will love you. Can you come now? He is often busy in the evenings, but I am sure he can fit you in."

Bella's answering smile was all she needed to say and Victoria stood to lead the way.


	7. Void

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions! I am so grateful for her!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Chapter 7: Void**

The days following Edward's discovery of Bella's departure dragged by. He still couldn't believe the impact that she had managed to have on his life. He hardly knew her, yet the sense of loss that Edward felt was devastating. He couldn't help but feel that he had lost the one girl that would have been his perfect match.

Adding insult to injury, his nightmares had returned full force. Early Sunday morning after Edward discovered that Bella had left he woke up in a sweat thinking he'd heard a woman calling his name but then he realized it was just part of the dream. He shook off the feelings of sorrow, disgust, and guilt that always accompanied those dreams and set about his day, determined to forget it and try not to think too much about Bella. Unfortunately he failed on both counts.

At church that day everyone was abuzz over the death of Charlie Swan and Bella's disappearance. Billy Black was in attendance, looking worn, like he had aged 20 years, but Jacob was nowhere to be seen. Edward assumed Jacob was out looking for Bella. Maybe he should have done the same. He didn't know in the slightest where to start but perhaps he could have helped. If anything ever happened to her he knew he could never forgive himself for not trying harder, but yet he was still paralyzed second guessing every thought and compulsion.

As the gossip circled, Emmett kept shooting concerned glances at Edward. He was sure he looked a fright. He hadn't slept much at all and the sleep he had gotten was plagued by dreams. Carlisle also had his eye on Edward. He had sensed something was going on by the way that Edward had responded to the news of Charlie Swan's death and by how he had seemed too emotionally involved in Bella's welfare.

As soon as the service was over Edward quickly exited the church.

He threw himself into the daily chores around the property over the next several days. He spent hours every day chopping wood to store up for winter. When he finished enough for himself he chopped some for Carlisle and Esme and then some for Emmett and Rosalie. Every night he came inside; arms, back, and chest aching from the strain. He didn't join the family for meals like he usually did. All he could do was think about Bella and try to sleep at night. The dreams were getting worse. Inevitably he'd wake up to the feel of hard ground under his cheek or to _her_ calling his name, feeling disgusted with himself and shameful.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The meeting at church that Sunday was a typical service for the most part. Jacob Black had returned, looking haggard and empty. Edward caught his eye at one point, Jacob glared daggers at him. He could hear the whispers of gossip about Bella; suspicions abounded about her relationship with Jacob and what this must mean for him. Some particularly bold girls even dared to speculate as to if he was back on the market.

As Edward was walking out of the church he overheard Billy and Jacob speaking with the preacher.

"No, I looked everywhere I could think, but she was nowhere," Jacob said, his voice a husky shell. "She's just gone. I mean, she's really gone."

Edward's heart clenched. He felt badly for Jacob, he knew that Jacob loved her and given his own feelings for Bella, he couldn't help but sympathize with someone who had loved and lost her.

Just then Esme caught up to him, gripping his arm. "Edward, please come for dinner today. We miss you so much," her hazel eyes large and pleading.

He sighed, running a hand through his mess of hair. He could not deny her when she looked at him like that. "Of course, Mom. I'll be there." It wouldn't hurt him to get a nice well rounded meal. He had been surviving on biscuits and jerky over the last week, not bothering to make anything for himself.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The dinner table was set beautifully but the conversation was a bit stilted. Only Emmett knew for certain the reason for Edward's melancholy; Carlisle suspected.

"So, Edward. What is your problem lately?" Rosalie demanded.

"Rosie," Emmett admonished, shaking his head.

"What? He's been moping around, it's obvious he's not been sleeping or… bathing," she said, wrinkling her nose. "And he's been avoiding us as though we have a plague."

The table fell silent and Edward's eyes did not lift from his plate. "Yes, well, I've had a lot on my mind," he mumbled.

"We've just missed you, dear. We're so glad you are with us now," Esme smiled reassuringly, reaching over to place her hand on top of his.

"I actually am going to make a trip to Sacramento to pick up a shipment and a few other wares to last through the winter. I'll be leaving tomorrow."

"That's great, little brother, I'll go with you!" Emmett said.

"No, you stay with Rosalie. She needs you. I'll be fine," he asserted. "I expect to be back on Thursday."

"Are you sure, Edward? The road can present problems. You may need help along the way," Carlisle encouraged. "Rosalie will be,"

"No, I'm sure. I'll be fine. Thank you."

The rest of the meal's conversation was awkward. Esme packaged up some food and sent it with Edward when it was time for him to go.

He walked home, trying to keep his thoughts on the tasks at hand focusing on the preparation for winter and more immediately on the preparations for the trip to Sacramento. Briefly, he thought about how perhaps he would see Bella in Sacramento but before he could go too far down that line of thought, he pushed it aside. He didn't want to get his hopes up only to be disappointed. He could only hope that she would be safe and one day return home. Until then, he knew he would have to push her from his mind.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Early the next morning, Edward hooked up the two horses to the wagon and set out on the trail. Esme had insisted on making him more food than he could possibly eat on the trip and pack it up for him to take. It had been very thoughtful of her, though.

The road was dusty; there had not been any rains yet in the season. By the end of the first day he was tired and the horses needed a break. He stopped at an inn in Auburn for the night. Putting his horses in the stable, he went inside to get some sleep. There was a saloon on the first floor of the inn and there were plenty of inebriated miners along with saloon girls trying to catch the men's eyes and being quite successful at it. Edward found the owner of the inn and paid for his room. He then made his way across the saloon to the stairs through the mass of people. He had no interest in drinking and carousing, he just wanted to see if sleep would come that night. Just before he reached the stairs a pretty strawberry blonde girl approached him, placing her hand on his chest.

"You're too handsome to be a miner. My name's Tanya. What's yours sugar?"

Edward politely removed her hand from his chest. He knew what she was after and it might have been tempting had he not been so tired. But regardless, Edward had eyes for no woman. Well none that were available, that is.

"My name's Edward. And if you'll excuse me, I'm quite road weary and I'm just headed to my room," he said as he tried to side step the young woman.

But Tanya was quick; she spun around, grasping his hand, and looked up at him through her long lashes. "Well, Edward. That's a fine name. You do look tuckered out. I could keep you company, help you unwind from your day's journey," she said, running her finger down his chest.

Edward extricated his hand from Tanya's grip and stepped back. "No thank you ma'am. I'll just be on my way. You have a lovely evening." And with that, he turned to the stairs and ascended to the third floor. He walked along the hall till he located his room. Opening the door, he saw modest furnishings: a bed, a table and chair, and a wash basin with a pitcher of water.

He kicked off his boots, put his hat on the table and went to the basin, pouring water in to wash up. The water was cool, but he didn't mind. It felt nice to wash the road dust off. After he had cleaned himself up, he fell into bed hoping he could get some good sleep.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Drip… drip… drip… There was the same cold hard ground, the same sound of muffled crying ringing in his ears, the same feelings of shame and hopelessness. But the voice… the voice was different. He woke with a start, sitting upright in bed, choking on sobs. The voice calling his name in the dream had changed; instead of _hers_, it was now… Bella's voice that cried his name. The desperation he felt was nearly overwhelming. What did this mean? Did Bella need help? Or was this just a trick of the imagination since Bella was always on his mind? He tossed and turned the rest of the night, sleep eluding him once again.

Dawn fell upon the Sierras; life gradually awakening in the small miners' town of Auburn. Edward felt as if he'd been put through the wringer, not having slept well in days and having been plagued by the dreams, which now had taken on a new and disturbing component.

He rolled over in bed and groaned when he thought about the day's continuing journey to Sacramento. He put his feet over the edge, sitting up and rubbing his face. His eyes were bleary as he walked over to the wash basin and splashed his face with the cool water. Walking over to his bag, he took out some biscuits and preserves that Esme had sent with him as well as a fresh apple to eat for breakfast. He didn't want to risk the food that may be served in the saloon. Though he did suspect that some coffee would do him good; so he walked downstairs to get a cup of the strong, bitter, black liquid that would hopefully give him some energy at least to start the day with.

The journey was very much the same as the previous day; long, dusty, and tiring. He occasionally passed groups of miners, dirty and half crazed looking for gold. After several hours, he finally started to see the closely built buildings with boardwalks running along them, people bustling everywhere, horses and carriages filling the dirt streets; signifying that he had finally arrived in Sacramento.

He made his way through the alleyways and around corners to reach Newton's Mercantile. The stove that had been ordered was to be there for Edward to pick up. He also planned to purchase a few necessities that were difficult to come by in Rough and Ready.

Pulling up in front of the shop, he tied the horse to the hitching post, stepped up onto the boardwalk and in the door. Michael Newton saw him immediately as he entered.

"Cullen! It's been too long. How are you doing?" he said as he strode over, shaking Edward's hand and slapping him on the shoulder.

"Newton, I am doing just fine, thank you. How have you been?" Edward returned the pleasantries. He had never especially liked Michael Newton, but he had no concrete reason to dislike him either.

"Oh well, business is good. With all these crazy gold seekers coming through I've got plenty of activity through here."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"How was your journey, Edward?"

"It was long, but tolerable." He didn't have much in common with Michael Newton or many points of contact. But one thing he did know, Newton was on the prowl. "So, have you found yourself a wife yet to cook for your sorry self?"

"Oh, well, I thought I might've, but unfortunately she didn't stick around. She came through here about a week ago looking for work and I hired her to cook. But she only stayed for a day or so and then she just disappeared. She left her things in her room and everything. I was quite worried about her, but she was a quiet little thing and I think maybe she didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me she had to move on. She didn't leave much anyway," he sighed "I was sorely disappointed; I wanted to keep her. She was quite pretty and I'm sure she would have made a wonderful wife; she was a wonderful cook anyway."

"Ahh well, you win some you lose some." Edward mumbled, his heart aching thinking of the one he had lost before ever having the opportunity to win.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The room Newton gave him for the night was much like the one in Auburn: basic and comfortable. He slept relatively well compared to the sleep he'd been getting over the last week.

He slept late and when he rose he found that it was after noon. He couldn't believe how long he'd slept but then again he had been very tired. He took care of his business with Newton, thanked him, wished him well, and was on his way. He decided to take a different route out of town, guiding his horse down by the river. He'd never been this direction and thought it might be a nice change to ride along the water, the cool breeze in his face.

He saw a great commotion up ahead and wondered what all the fuss was about. He could hear a man, like an announcer, over the din of the crowd. As he got closer he realized that the announcer was calling out bids for an auction. The crowd was going wild, men shouting out their bids and stretching to have their hands be seen. _What in the world?_ When he looked up at the auctioneer and the auction block, he felt his blood pressure rise. It was women that were being auctioned. A brothel had their girls up for _auction_, like _cattle_. The men were half crazed, practically salivating. Most of them looked to be miners and probably hadn't laid eyes on a woman in quite some time.

Righteous indignation filled Edward's spirit. He wanted to knock the blocks off each of these men. And as for the announcer, probably the owner of the brothel, he wanted to do more than just knock his block. These poor girls were human beings, not livestock that you put your brand on and use for your own gain to satisfy your own lusts. These were girls who apparently had no one to care for them and no way to make it on their own.

Edward's rage called for an outlet, but there was nothing he could do. He had to get away from there; the sight was much too painful. He started to steer his horse around the perimeter of the crowd when he heard the announcer call "Sold for $50! Our next young lady is a prize indeed. Devastatingly beautiful with her doe brown eyes, she is also completely untouched and unsoiled and you could be the first to have her. She could be yours tonight! Shall we start the bidding at $60?"

The crowd grew impossibly louder and wilder. Men were clambering over each other shouting out bids and holding up sacks of gold and fists of cash. The bile rose in Edward's throat and he couldn't stop himself from looking up at the poor girl.

Her dress was extremely revealing. Her brown hair curled and pinned up in the latest fashion. She stood with her head held high, gaze fixed on some far away point. She was visibly shaking as the announcer leered at her. Instantaneously his rage and desperation reached a boiling point!

_Sweet Jesus._ "NO!"

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear what you're thinking about the story or even just that you're reading! Reviews completely make my day!


	8. The Beginning of Knowledge

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**This is a long one. **

**WARNING:** This chapter includes disturbing elements including some violence and unwanted sexual advances. No rape.

**Chapter 8: The Beginning of Knowledge**

Bella walked with Victoria to meet her boss to discuss the possibility of getting a job at their establishment. She was excited about moving on and getting away from Michael's unwanted advances. But she was becoming curious about what exactly their business did and what would be expected of her.

"What do you do for your boss?" she asked Victoria in curiosity.

"I'm his manager. I manage the employees. I make sure they have everything they need and that they are taking care of our customers."

"So what would my job entail, exactly?"

"Oh, don't worry, honey. The owner will explain it all to you."

They turned a corner and Victoria went to an unmarked door in the wall, pulled out a key, and unlocked it. If Bella had just been walking by on her own, she probably wouldn't have even noticed it was there. Bella looked oddly at her, wondering where they were.

"This is just the back door, dear. I just find it easier to enter here than fight the crowds around front."

Bella still looked curious, but followed Victoria inside. She could hear piano music playing and men whooping and hollering in excitement. It definitely sounded as if they were drunk. Bella started to become nervous and paused for a moment. Victoria turned around and saw Bella's hesitation.

"Oh come on sweetie. Don't let the noise bother you. James is just through here."

The skin on the back of her neck prickled and her anxiety got stronger, but she was already there and what could she do but at least meet with the owner?

Victoria led Bella into a small room with lovely plush chairs, a settee and a sidebar with plenty of liquor and cut crystal glasses on top.

"Please have a seat, my dear." Victoria said.

Bella did as she was directed and Victoria went to a door on the other side of the room and knocked. After a moment a man's muffled voice responded with "Come in."

Victoria opened the door and stepped into the next room. By this point Bella was feeling quite uncomfortable but she had to see this through. After a moment a young girl in a very revealing dress emerged from the room and walked through, not so much as acknowledging Bella's presence. If that was the uniform for this establishment, Bella certainly would not be able to work there. It would definitely not be appropriate.

Victoria returned a moment later and told Bella to come into the next room. She stood on shaky legs and walked forward through the door.

This room had similar plush furniture decorating its interior. The main differences between the previous room and this one were the giant fireplace on one side of the room, with a warm blaze inside and the large desk on the other side of the room behind which an attractive man sat, steel blue eyes fixed on Bella as she came forward. His intent gaze made her ill at ease.

"Thank you, Victoria, for bringing Bella to me. You may go now. Welcome, beautiful Bella." Victoria turned from the room, closing the door behind her, leaving Bella alone with the man behind the desk.

"Umm, thank you, Mr…."

"You may call me James. We will become quite well acquainted so we may as well skip the formalities."

She wasn't sure how to respond to him and didn't know how to proceed from there. She was becoming more certain she didn't feel comfortable working in this environment but she couldn't very well completely disregard him and leave without at least giving the appearance of learning about the position.

"Yes, thank you, sir, errr, James." A slow self-satisfied smile spread across his face. "I am grateful that you have allowed me to meet with you. I have spoken with your manager, Victoria, and she has informed me that you may have a position available?"

"Has she now? Well, she is right. In fact," he paused and looked her over from head to toe. "I think you will be just the thing I require."

Bella's heart began to pound at his perusal and disconcerting words. "Yes, well, would you mind telling me about the position? What does it entail and what kind of compensation could I expect?"

Just then a young girl in clothes every bit as revealing as the girl who had scampered out before entered with a tray balanced on her hand holding glasses of liquid and small finger sandwiches. James motioned for her to put the tray on the desk and the girl turned and left the room.

"Please, Bella dear. Have something to drink and a bite to eat while we discuss your time here."

"If it's all the same, sir, I would rather not. I would rather discuss the possibility and be on my way."

"It's not all the same. Please, take a drink and have a sandwich."

Bella did not think he was the type of man to upset so she did as she was asked.

"Essentially, dear, you will be expected to service our customers. As for your compensation, you will be provided with a beautiful room, an elegant wardrobe, and sustenance."

"Would the wardrobe include items such as these girls have been wearing?"

"That's not important right now."

Fear was rooting itself in her belly. "I see. And what kind of service will I provide for the customers."

"Whatever service they have paid for, my dear," he said with a sneer.

Realization was dawning on her mind and she was feeling very foolish and fearful having gotten into this position. Bella was certain that this must be a house of ill repute and she needed to get out of there and quickly.

Bella swallowed roughly. "I see. Well, I thank you for your time, but I must be on my way. I will consider your generous offer and get back to you if I may," she said as she turned to leave.

She walked briskly to the door, turning the handle only to find that it was locked. She whirled around and to her surprise he had been right behind her.

"I'm afraid you may not, my dear Bella" he said stepping even closer. "You see, you are an investment of mine. And I always collect on my investments," he said raising his fingers to run them down her cheek.

Bella's breathing sped up and she slapped his hand away from her face. "I will not work for you. I am not something to be owned and am definitely not one of your 'investments' as you say!" she spat equally parts enraged and terrified. She stepped back and felt her back hit the door.

This only seemed to amuse him as he began to laugh. "Oh that is where you are wrong, my dear. You no longer have an option," he stepped even closer, his hot breath washing over her face.

"You cannot force me. I will not do as you say," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

"Well, there is no sense arguing about it just now. That will get us nowhere I'm afraid. We shall see what you will do. After all, we all have our breaking point, don't we?" he said a sickening smile on his face.

Bella changed tactics. "Please, please, just let me go. I am of no value to you."

"Oh but Bella, you are wrong again. You are of great value to me."

"No… I… I'm not. I have no experience in this area. I would be completely worthless!" She was desperate now, grasping at straws.

He leaned in just a little more and ran one index finger across her collar bone. "Mmm" he hummed "that is precisely why you will fetch a nice little sum."

Terror coursed through her veins and she exhaled in a short heavy breath as though she'd been punched in the gut. She started to shake and fought back the tears. She would not let him see her cry.

"Oh please do not be afraid, my little Bella. I will take good care of you." He said running his finger up the column of her throat. "And you will be well prepared when the time comes." Grabbing her chin, he kissed her roughly, slamming her head against the door. She cursed herself as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. He released her chin. "Yes, I think you will do just fine."

Taking her by the arm, he unlocked the door, and led her from the room. She pulled at his grasp to no avail. Her eyes were wide, mind racing as to how she could escape this situation. He was not gentle, his fingers digging into her flesh as he half dragged her up two flights of stairs, down a hall, opened a door and forced her inside. He entered after her and shut the door behind him locking it with a key from the inside.

Her instincts started to take over and she flew at him, kicking and scratching in every way she could. But her attacks were futile; he was far too strong. In no time he had her pinned to the bed, fury and lust shining in his eyes. "You will not do that again, my dear," he snarled. "You will respect me and remember to whom you now belong." One muscular hand closed around her throat and squeezed. She tried in vain to take in a breath of air as her fingers clawed at his hand, his arm, anything she could reach. She could feel her eyes bulging as he smiled in his rage, his hand squeezing harder. Her vision began to darken and it looked to her as if she were in a tunnel, blackness closing in around her. Just as she felt herself start to slip under, he released his hold and she choked and gasped, sucking in air to fill her burning lungs.

"Mmm, you are feisty. That will do very nicely. Just remember to direct that to the right channels and we should get along quite well. Tis a pity I need you whole, at least to start with. You are quite desirable, my dear." He stepped back and she rolled to her stomach, still panting heavily trying to catch her breath. He turned and walked back towards the door, turning back as he reached it "Victoria will be up in a little while to help you settle in. I do hope you'll enjoy your time here."

With that he exited the room and Bella heard the lock slide closed from the outside. Fumbling from her place on the bed she fell on the floor retching, the contents of her stomach emptying onto the wooden floor.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

It had gotten dark and the lamps in Bella's room were not lit. The sounds from the street and from below were of wild and drunken carousing. She felt completely and utterly ashamed and helpless. Not a single person that could help her knew where she was. She hadn't even told Jacob in her note that she was going to Sacramento. For all Michael knew, she had gone for a walk. _What will he think when I don't return?_ She was sure he wouldn't look for her since he really didn't know her and wouldn't know if disappearing was normal behavior for her. And even if someone did look for her, they would have no way of finding her locked up in a room in this brothel.

She had inventoried her room. It appeared to be luxurious. Silk bedclothes, beautiful lamps, and a gorgeous, as of yet empty, wardrobe were about all she had. There was a window high up on the wall that she could barely reach. It was open a crack but had bars on the outside of it preventing escape.

She was so incredibly stupid! She should have listened to her intuition. _Was Michael really so bad? I could have dealt with him. At least he was kind and treated me well._ Now she was stuck and she didn't know if or when she'd be able to get out. When she thought of how low she may be forced to go in order to survive that place she retched again, but her stomach was empty.

Just then she heard her door unlock. She looked up to see Victoria come in with a lamp, followed by a very large and muscular man.

"Hello my dear. How lovely to see you again," she crooned.

Bella said nothing, simply glaring at the woman who had led her to this place.

"Aren't you grateful, Bella dear? I have secured a very nice position for you. Your accommodations are quite comfortable, are they not?"

Still Bella said nothing.

Victoria sighed. "Well, I suppose it is a big change for you to get used to. I'm afraid the coming days will not be too pleasant for you. But no matter, you will survive and learn to find your worth in your work." Victoria set the lamp down. "I'm afraid you will have to give me your clothes now."

That elicited Bella's voice. "I'm sorry, what?"

She raised one eyebrow. "Your clothes, dear. And please, do not take too long. Laurent and I don't want to have to force you. It's much easier for all of us if you just do this willingly."

For the second time that day she found herself resorting to begging. "Please, just let me go. I won't be any trouble, just let me go."

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Bella. James is quite attached to you."

"Why? I am nothing to him! I am sure he wouldn't miss me with all the other girls that run around here!" She was shouting now. "I never should have come with you! Why couldn't you have just left me alone?"

"Oh sweetheart, you are so naïve. It's heartbreaking, really. It would not have mattered if you had come with me or not. James had his sights set on you and he would have gotten you, one way or another. It is not a question of if, just when."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, he wanted you. And what he wants, he gets. He chose you. You should feel honored. James is highly respected in our world. You will have much prestige being one of his girls. And he has high plans for you. You will be coveted, I can guarantee it."

Bella's head was reeling. It was far too much to take in. How did this happen? If she had made any small change in her decisions this would not have happened. She would not be here. If only she had stayed in Rough and Ready and married Jacob. Or perhaps she could have found a job in another small town in the Sierras. Or if only she had been content working for Michael.

"Now dear, I won't ask you again. I really must demand your clothes of you."

The sob built up inside of her as she realized there was nothing she could do. Standing to her feet, she turned her back and began to unfasten the hooks and buttons of her plain and sensible dress. It was difficult to do with her fingers shaking as violently as they were. The dress fell to her feet and she stepped out of it.

"The petticoat and corset, too, I'm afraid."

It took quite some time to undo her corset. She then stepped out of the petticoat and handed the items to Victoria.

"Shoes and stockings. And take your hair down please, I need the pins."

Once Bella was down to just her chemise, Victoria exited the room, Laurent following behind.

She sunk down onto the bed and drew her knees up to her chin. She was terribly humiliated. Rocking back and forth she cried for all that she had lost. How heartbroken her father would have been. He had worked so hard to make sure that she was well cared for and she had to go and destroy everything on some silly notion of making her own way in the world and following her dreams. It hadn't even been a week before she managed to fall into the clutches of the worst kind of humanity.

She was shaking violently and she couldn't even catch her breath as the sobs were coming more quickly. "I'm so sorry Daddy. I'm so, so sorry."

She fell over on the bed lost to her sorrow.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

She awoke sometime in the middle of the night to the eerie feeling that she was being watched. She jolted upright and looked around. After a moment she saw a dark figure in the corner, staring at her. It took a moment for her eyes to focus and when they did she saw that it was James.

She held very still, returning his gaze. After a moment she spoke in a hoarse voice "What do you want?"

He said nothing; just continued to stare at her for several minutes. Her skin crawled at his proximity and perusal. She knew she couldn't win against him and so she stayed where she was, silently praying that he wouldn't touch her. After a few minutes he turned and left the room, not saying a single word.

She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Her fear grew exponentially, bile rising in her throat.

It took a while to fall back asleep after that but eventually she did.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

She awoke the next morning to the sun streaming in her barred window. Her hair was matted and crusted to her face from an ocean of tears. She felt sick to her stomach and completely depleted in every way. Rolling over in bed she jumped when she saw she was not alone. James was again in her room, just watching.

"Beautiful," he murmured, sauntering over towards her.

She quickly sat up and scooted her way across the bed as far from him as she could manage.

"Don't touch me," she said.

Clicking his tongue, he came closer still and said "Things will be a lot easier for you, my pet, when you accept that you are mine and I will do as I wish with you."

He reached over and gently caressed her face. Bella jerked her head away and turned from him. In response he grabbed her by the hair, twisting her long locks around his wrist and dragged her to the floor, her hands shot up to his arm and her feet clambered to gain traction on the floor. She fought the urge to cry out in pain not wanting to give him any satisfaction. He yanked her up by the hair till her eyes met his.

"You will not resist me," he snarled at her.

With an act of defiance that shocked her, she spat in his face. He roared and threw her by the hair against the wall. The air rushed from her lungs on impact and she slid to the floor with a thud.

He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face. Then kneeling on one knee in front of her, he spoke in a low and menacing voice. "If you know what is good for you, you will never do that again. How many times must I say this? You belong to _ME_. You are here because of _MY_ will. You will behave as _I_ wish it. You live and breathe because _I_ deem it so. Do not forget it." His breathing was heavy in his fury. "Now because I am a gracious man, I will let that go. I know you are still adjusting. But I will not hesitate to make you pay. You think you have it so rough now? Just test me, little girl." And having said that he grabbed her by her chemise and roughly dragged her to her feet for a bruising kiss. She whimpered under the force and he threw her back to the floor, her head hitting with a sickening clunk.

"As I said, I will do with you as I wish." Then he turned and left the room. Bella curled herself into the tightest ball she could and laid on the floor, sobbing, until sleep took her again.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

At some point Bella woke to the sounds of the drunken crowd again. She had no idea what time it was and she ached from the treatment she had received. She was hungry, not having eaten at all that day and having vomited whatever had been in her stomach when she arrived the night before. She felt dizzy and nauseous and she wondered if she might have a concussion.

She could hear deep male and giggling female voices in the hall followed by doors shutting and the nausea grew in strength. At some point she would be expected to entertain men in her room as well. What would James do if she refused? She shuddered to think of the possibilities.

She drew herself up to a sitting position against the wall, knees tucked under her chin in a protective stance. She stared at the opposite wall and hummed some of her favorite songs from childhood before climbing up into the bed and falling asleep again.

She dreamt of dark green eyes and strong arms lifting her atop a horse, large hands running through tousled bronze hair, and a honeyed voice reciting Romeo. In her dream she was happy. In her dream she was safe… in his arms.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

She didn't know how long time went on like this; her drifting in and out of consciousness, occasionally waking to the sounds of customers or worse, _him_ in her room. She thought it had been a few days, but she couldn't be certain. She hadn't eaten or bathed. She had the occasional drink of water that they had brought her and she was still in her filthy chemise that she'd been stripped down to the first night.

Suddenly her door swung open and in walked Victoria, carrying a tray. Bella's back stiffened as she watched the woman walk into the room, followed of course by Laurent, her enforcer.

"Hello, Bella dear. It's so nice to see you. I hope you have settled in well." Sighing she said "I can't say you look too good. I have brought you some food. I thought you might be hungry." She set the tray down on the small table that had a lamp on it. "I will return for your tray in a little while. Please do eat, you need your strength."

Victoria and Laurent left and Bella scrambled over to the tray. She was ravenous. There was a bowl of soup, a roll, and a glass of milk. She ate them, a bit slowly at first, letting her stomach adjust to the feeling of food in it again, and then polished off the rest rather quickly, her body recognizing what it needed. She felt a bit better after finishing her meal and she sat down to wait for Victoria to return.

After a little while Victoria and Laurent came back into her room. Victoria walked over to the tray and smiled. "Well done, Bella. I suppose you were hungry, but then it has been a few days." She picked up the tray and stepped back towards the door.

Unexpectedly Laurent took a step towards Bella. He continued coming at her and before she knew it he had picked her up and punched her in the stomach. She would have doubled over except that his enormous hand encircled her throat and began to squeeze.

_What did I do?_ Bella thought, frantically clawing at his grip. He slowly lifted her off the ground all the while strangling Bella and shaking her like a rag doll.

Victoria sighed "That's enough Laurent," she said sounding bored.

He released his grip, dropping her to the floor where Bella vomited up her dinner, tears streaming down her face while she gasped and sputtered.

"Bella love, that was a warning. Think of that as a kindness. We will not in any way hesitate to correct misbehavior."

"What did I do?" she gasped.

"Nothing, my dear. Just a little education. A fraction of what will happen if you displease us," she said with a sickening smile as they turned to leave. The door was shut and locked with resounding finality.

Then Bella knew. No one was coming for her. She was powerless to change her situation. She was _his_ to control.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Over the next few days Bella was slowly acclimated to food once more. She was given baths and a wardrobe. The dresses were not anything close to what she would select; they were much too revealing and much too fancy being made of the finest silks and velvets. Bella certainly felt every bit a possession when forced to parade around in the new clothing. The corsets were cinched very tightly to make her already small waist even tinier and to push up her breasts, displaying an embarrassing amount of décolletage. Bella was continually afraid that she would quite literally fall out of the top of her dress. But it was much better than being forced to simply wear her worn and dirty chemise. Even so, she was not allowed out of her room except to go to the washroom for her bath.

After a couple days of this, Victoria came into her room after lunch followed by Laurent. Bella immediately cowered to her bed anticipating a repeat of the beating she had received from Laurent previously.

Victoria clicked her tongue, "Now calm down, child. We have no intention of disciplining you, at least not unless you misbehave." She laughed lightly. I have come to give you the lessons you were promised."

_Lessons? What lessons? _

"Bella my dear, we have been taking very nice care of you and have expended quite a bit of money and time on your well being. It is time that you begin to earn your keep."

She had known it was coming. She knew at some point this terrible nightmare was going to become infinitely worse, but she was still not prepared for it. She knew she couldn't escape. She would have to perform and if she didn't, she knew they would make her pay. Bella was terrified. The extent of her experience in this area were kisses stolen from her by Jacob or James during which she didn't even reciprocate. How in the world would she survive?

Victoria began to "instruct" Bella in what she would be expected to do. It didn't take long at all for Bella's mind to shut down in an attempt to protect itself from the onslaught of images that Victoria was hurling at her.

Bella sat on the bed, giving all appearances of listening, but really she was deep within the recesses of her mind. She thought about Charlie and how much she missed him. She thought about Jacob and how much she'd hurt him. And she thought about Edward. She felt particularly foolish for dwelling on him. Although, if this was to be her life, what did it matter the kinds of silly and impossible notions that she entertained in the secrecy of her heart and mind?

Victoria crossed the room and stooped down to look into Bella's wide eyes. "Tomorrow will be a trial by fire for you, my dear," she said, brushing Bella's hair behind her shoulder in an almost motherly gesture that created severe dissonance when combined with her words and threats. "There is much riding on this auction and James _will not_ be embarrassed. Trust me, you do not want James to be embarrassed. Men will pay very high sums for a beautiful young girl's innocence. This may be the most money you ever bring in for us in a single night for the course of your life with us. So you can imagine how seriously James takes this. We do not want an angry customer, do we my sweet?" Victoria was petting Bella's hair while discussing her ruin in such a matter of fact way. "We are just and fair. Consider this a chance to prove why you are worth keeping alive, my dear. You will be lucky this first time. Your customer will expect and relish in your inexperience. But don't get complacent. Don't think that we will not hesitate to exterminate you if you become irrelevant or unprofitable. What do you think happened to the previous occupant of your room?"

Bella gazed directly back into Victoria's steel blue eyes in silent rebellion. In that moment, she vowed to herself that she would own her mind. They could own and control her body, but they could never touch her mind or her heart or her soul. They would not break her spirit. She may give all appearances of acquiescence; of compliance. But in her heart she would be the daughter that would make Charlie proud.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

That evening James came through her door carrying her tray of dinner. Setting it on the table, his eyes raked over her form.

"Ahh, my sweet, you are ravishing. I knew you would be stunning" he said, walking over to her and running his hands up and down her arms. She forced herself to return his gaze.

"Thank you, sir."

"Mmmm" he hummed. "I sincerely wish I could taste the first fruits of our labor. But that would not be profitable, now would it?"

Her eyes did not falter and she did not allow herself to descend into terror. _He will not have my soul._

He seemed to contemplate her for a moment. Drawing closer to her, his breath fell on her face. He ran one index finger from her temple to her chin, down the column of her throat and even further to the décolletage that was displayed by the revealing garments.

Her breath hitched in disgust and she closed her eyes. _He will not have my soul._ _He will not have my soul, he will NOT have my soul_, she repeated to herself.

He gloried in the response he was eliciting from her. "Maybe just a small taste," he whispered. Slowly, predatorily, he closed the gap between them and gently kissed her trembling lips. This time she did not wrench herself away from him and he gripped the back of her neck, weaving his fingers in her hair. He continued kissing her, taking her bottom lip between his and gently sucking while laving his tongue across it.

Tears leaked from her eyes, unbidden and he tasted them on her lips as he continued his assault. His free hand moved to trace the curves of her chest down to her hip where he held her firm. "Relax, my love. Show me your affection for me," he whispered. Yet still she did not move. His fingers dug into her hip painfully and she whimpered.

Slowly she began to move with him, praying that he would tire of her soon and leave her be. _This is not me. This is not my heart_,she reassured herself. Tears continued to streak down her face. He kissed them away.

"Shh, you don't need to cry, my love. As you see I can be a very gentle lover." She fought the urge to wrench herself away from his grasp and slap his smug face. She knew she would be severely beaten if she were to anger him again.

"Consider that a promise, till later when I can truly make you mine" he said tipping her chin up and looking into her eyes.

He stepped away and she let out a shaky breath she didn't realize she was holding. His self satisfied smile was repulsive as he turned and left the room. She heard him calling to another girl and entering another room, laughing, and she heaved without the satisfaction of actually vomiting.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next day was passed in a fog. Bella had wholly withdrawn into herself and was completing all necessary actions but she did not leave the comfort of her mind preferring to contemplate more pleasant things. She was bathed and massaged with special smelling oils from the Orient by the servant girls. Her hair was curled and pinned delicately and perfectly in place and a dress was chosen for her that was ridiculously provocative, even compared to what she had worn the last couple of days.

_Romeo and Juliet_.

As the afternoon wore on she could hear the clamor of a crowd of men in the streets. This crowd was even rowdier than usual and only grew in fervor as time went by. She could hear James voice rising above the noise welcoming the men to their auction. She heard as a couple women were auctioned off and cheers arose from the crowd as men came forward to collect their "prizes".

_I ne'er saw true beauty till this night._

Before long, Victoria and Laurent came to the room to escort her down. She felt as though she were walking to her death but she pushed that away.

_Green eyes flashing_.

She heard the click of her shoes on the wooden stairs as she descended the stairs behind Victoria, Laurent walking behind her.

_Crooked smile._

Victoria took Bella's arm and led her across the saloon at the front of the brothel. The door was opened and the sun streamed down.

_Bronze hair glinting_.

She was led across a small open area to a platform. She ascended the stairs woodenly as she heard James talking, though she couldn't make it out in her withdrawn haze.

_Strong arms._

She heard shouting and a cacophony of excitement as she focused her gaze on a faraway point. She couldn't be sure just how long she stood there before she vaguely heard James shout "Sold!"

Then she was hurried off the platform, back into the brothel and back into her room where servant girls attended her, spraying her with perfume, touching up her hair, and adjusting her dress. All the while Bella was lost in her memories.

_Edward._

The girls left and Bella remained locked in her room and safe in her mind.

**A/N:** Part of my motivation for writing this chapter is the burden I feel for people who are stuck in the sex trade all over the world. I've had the opportunity to work a little helping girls to try and get out and I have a huge burden for this problem. Yes, it still happens. Yes it happens in the United States as well as all around the world. It doesn't just happen with adults who sometimes go into it with their eyes open, coerced or not. It happens with small children, sold into it by their impoverished families who are just trying to survive and who often don't know that's what their child is getting involved in. They are told that their child will be working at a restaurant or as an office assistant and so they send their children off to work for the family never knowing what they are getting into or that they will likely never see their child again. Anyway, I'm sorry about the heaviness. This story will not be preachy, I just wanted to share a little of my heart and why I chose to include this subject matter.

**Please let me know what you think in the form of a review! I read and respond to every review! Thanks!**


	9. Haggle

**Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Chapter 9: Haggle**

He sat frozen in his seat, unable to move, just processing the scene in front of him. _How in the hell did she end up here?_

He had to get her out of there. There was no option. But what could he do? He couldn't fight the whole crowd and then the devil himself up on the podium along with all his minions protecting him.

And suddenly, as if propelled by some outside force, he was off his wagon and he joined the fray of half crazed maniacs, shouting out bids and holding up cash. He felt every bit as desperate as all the other men in the crowd. Except these men were desperate to conquer her and Edward was desperate to protect her.

What was the bid at? It was going so quickly; a young girl's maidenhood a great prize indeed for these despicable, opportunistic bastards. And not just any girl; _My girl!_ He would not allow them to have her.

The bid was already at $100! It had gone up so quickly! Edward desperately hoped that he would have enough to save her.

"$150" Edward called out. There was no point dithering over $5 here or there, he had to knock the rest of these lunatics out of the running, and quick.

A brief hush fell over the crowd before the announcer said "We have $150, do I hear $155?"

"$160," called a richly dressed man, casually standing on the outside of the crowd.

"$170," Edward immediately retorted.

"$200," from the rich man.

Edward was starting to sweat; this man may be able to beat him. _Why didn't I bring more money for the road?_

"$200, do I hear $220? $220?"

"$220!" Edward called out. He couldn't go too much higher. _Please God, I have to get her out of here!_

The rich man hesitated, thinking.

"$220, do I hear $230?... $220 going once… $220 going twice…"

"$250," the smug bastard said appearing almost bored but his eyes revealed an undisguisable hunger.

Edward's breath came out forcefully and he decided he might as well lay it all on the line. He needed a bit of money to get them home but he would have to stretch it as much as he could. If he had to, he would find work in Sacramento to earn enough to get them home.

"$300!" Edward called out, his face clearly displaying his tension, praying fervently that the other man would give up the chase.

The crowd had been watching the exchange in silence but at Edward's last bid a collective gasp fell over the men.

Booming laughter erupted from his opponent. "Ahh, boy. You obviously need it more than I do. I concede."

"$300 going once…. $300 going twice… Sold for $300!" The announcer's face was alight with a deranged glee as he put his grimy hand around Bella's waist, bent to speak in her ear for a moment and then directed her off the platform.

Edward looked around; frantically trying to determine where to go from there. He saw a man that looked to be collecting money from previous winners near the front on the sidelines. Edward pushed his way through the throngs up to where he could pay for his bid. A brief feeling of disgust washed over him as he thought about how he was paying to take her innocence, even though that wasn't his intent. The weight of purchasing a human being, and not just any human being but his Bella, was heavy on his spirit. This was certainly something he never thought he'd be in the position of doing. But he pushed those thoughts aside, anxious to see her and make sure she was alright. He couldn't get to Bella quickly enough as he shoved his way through to the man taking the filthy money.

"Nice one," the short rotund cashier said lightly punching Edward's shoulder, a bawdy smile on his face. "For your knowledge, the terms of this auction are that you have the pleasure of staying with us till morning if you like. Of course, you may leave anytime before that if it pleases you, but we hope you will take full advantage of your prize," he said with one eyebrow raised. Edward had to fight not to lay the man flat on the ground. Instead, he drew his lips in a tight line and simply asked where he could put his horses and wagon. The man directed him to where they could be safely parked.

As he took care of his horses, his mind raced as to how he would manage to actually get Bella out of the brothel. He knew she was likely heavily guarded. A plan began to take shape in his mind. It was a long shot and he wasn't sure it would work but it was all he had to go on in such a short period of time.

A young girl in a dress nearly as revealing as Bella's approached and peeked at him through her lashes. "Right this way, cowboy. My name's Daisy and I'll be taking care of you for the next little while," she said as she hooked her arm through his. His eyes scanned the area trying to see where they'd taken Bella but he couldn't see her.

Daisy led him around to the front of the saloon and through the door. Walking across the well worn wooden floor, she led him to a table and asked him to sit down. Edward looked around nervously; he really just wanted to see Bella.

"Now cowboy, why don't you let me get you a nice whiskey or something to eat? You can enjoy the dancers while you relax a bit. I'm sure you must be tired from whatever business you've come from," she said taking his hat, laying it on the table and ruffling his hair.

Irritated, Edward grabbed up his hat and stood to his feet. "Thank you kindly, but I really would just like to claim my prize," he said, cringing internally and feeling every bit the scoundrel he was playing.

Daisy giggled, "Now, now cowboy. You will have your prize, but for now, you must relax and let me get something to refresh you."

Edward realized he wasn't going to get anywhere trying to push to see Bella sooner. He had no idea where she was or he would have just gone unbidden. Instead he allowed Daisy to settle him back in his seat and bring him some whiskey.

"Now you make sure and let me know if there's anything else I can do for you, cowboy. Anything at all," she said, a seductive smile on her painted face.

The few other men in the saloon were drooling over the dancers on stage dancing along to the bawdy tunes, but Edward could do nothing but impatiently tap the heel of his boot, eyes darting around, waiting for the time he'd be taken to Bella.

What was she doing here? How in the world did she end up on a brothel owner's auction block? She couldn't possibly be here by choice, could she? Was she really that desperate to get away from a marriage with Jacob? Of course he was thrilled that she didn't want to marry Black but would she really go to such extreme measures? No, she couldn't possibly be here of her own volition. That owner was slimy enough; Edward was certain he wouldn't have any qualms with taking an innocent woman against her will.

The minutes ticked by and Edward hadn't touched his whiskey as of yet. He decided the liquid courage would do him well, so he downed it in one shot. He wasn't afraid of the consequences to his own person should he fail in his attempt to save Bella. He was more afraid of her reaction to him being there and what would happen to her if they were caught.

After what seemed to be an eternity, he was approached by a large burly man. "Hello, my name is Laurent. I hope you have enjoyed our dancers and the whiskey. I will be taking you to the lovely Bella now."

Edward was on his feet immediately, hat in hand; ready to do whatever it took to make sure she was safe.

Laurent led him through to the other side of the saloon where a beautifully carved staircase led up to multiple floors above. He followed up the stairs, anxiety and a feeling of disgust over his environment causing sweat to form on his brow and his collar to be a constrictor around his neck.

It sickened him that he had to set foot in a place such as this. One that fancied itself a place for the most enjoyable entertainment but in truth used and abused women, exploiting them and making them captive to the demented desires of weak and cowardly men.

As he ascended the stairs he saw several women lounging outside their rooms, casting seductive glances his way. Images and memories began to filter through his mind, acid burned his throat.

Laurent exited the stairs on the third floor and led him down a hall. Another woman gave him a lurid look as she stood in the hall. Edward quickly looked away but he could see her intense perusal in his peripheral vision making his skin crawl, the urgency to get out building to a fever pitch.

Stopping in front of a door, Laurent pulled out a key and unlocked the door. "I hope you will enjoy your time here. I am sure you will find the company to be infinitely pleasurable. Should you need anything, please don't hesitate to call. You may ring the bell and someone will be by to assist you. I do apologize if there is a bit of a wait. We will be busy tonight with the auction winners."

Then he stepped away to the side leaving Edward staring at the door; only this wooden barrier separating him from Bella. Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and gently pushed the door open. Peeking inside he saw two lamps illuminating a small room, which was decorated lavishly. Bella was seated on the edge of the bed, her back to Edward, facing the opposite wall. As soon as his eyes fell on her his unease melted away and a solid strength took form in his being. He would protect her, no matter the cost. Stepping inside the room, the door closed behind him and was locked from the outside. Still Bella was completely silent and motionless, only the slight tremble of her body betraying her awareness that someone had entered the room.

Edward stood still just watching the slow and shaky rise and fall of her bare shoulders with each breath she took. He wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms, to tell her everything would be ok, that he would take care of her. But a cautionary warning in his mind held him back. He had no idea what she'd been through here and didn't know how she'd react to seeing him.

Slowly, he walked over to her and kneeled on the floor in front of her. Bella was always breathtaking and even though she looked completely out of place in the extremely low cut dress she was currently wearing, Edward couldn't help but appreciate how it accentuated certain assets. She was perfection.

Berating himself for the tone of his thoughts, he looked up into her beautiful face. Her eyes were far away and focused on the wall behind him.

"Bella, sweetheart," he said softly.

She gave no indication of hearing him.

"Bella, it's me Edward. Please look at me sweetheart."

Slowly glazed brown lowered to meet pleading green.

"Edward, how nice to see you," she said a gentle smile on her face. "I was so grateful to you for taking me home from the dance. It was immensely kind of you to go out of your way like that. I made you a pie to express my gratitude. I'm afraid it's at home. I'll have to get it for you."

Edward's confusion was plain on his face.

"Bella, I'm here to take you home. I'm going to make sure you're safe."

"Oh, I don't want to be a burden to you again. You've already gone out of your way to help me."

"Bella, I'm not leaving you here. I'm taking you with me."

"Oh Edward, that's very nice of you. Then I can give you your pie. Oh, but don't let my father know. He won't be too happy," she said giggling a little.

_She's lost her mind_.

"Bella! Do you know where you are? Do you know what is happening to you?"

She cocked her head to the side just a bit, her face masked in an unreadable expression.

Grasping hold of her shoulders, he shook her a little. "Bella, you're not safe here. I need you to focus. I don't know how you got here. But I'm so glad I found you. I'm going to take care of you now."

Recognition dawned on her in an instant and she gasped, scooting away from him on the bed. Fear and incredulity filled her eyes as she continued to put distance between them ending up standing on the other side of the bed.

Edward's hands shot up and he spoke calmly and slowly as if he were taming a wild horse. "Bella, baby, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you," he said walking carefully towards her.

"What are you doing here?" she spluttered. Tears filled her eyes as she backed into a corner.

He halted his advance, not wanting her to feel threatened and not at all sure how to explain the situation.

"It's ok, Bella. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to get you out and to take you home."

She seemed to consider his words for a moment.

"I can't go home! I don't want to go home!" she blurted out. "You need to leave."

"What? Bella, I'm not leaving you here. It's not going to happen. You're coming with me if I have to carry you out over my shoulder. I'm not leaving you with those filthy scoundrels!"

"Edward, they'll kill you. They'll kill me, or if they don't we'll wish they had." Her voice was getting higher in pitch and she closed her eyes as tears began to stream down her face.

Edward quickly came to stand in front of her. Her eyes were closed as he gently took her trembling face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

"Shh, Bella, calm down. It's ok. I'm going to get you out of here and they aren't going to touch us." At least they wouldn't touch her. That he would make sure of. If he had to die in the process, she would be safe.

"No, you don't understand. We won't make it out alive. I know it."

"You let me worry about that, sweetheart," he said taking her shaking frame in his arms.

But as soon as his arms encircled her body, she sucked in a quick gasp of air and stiffened in his embrace. Edward quickly let his arms drop and stepped back to give her some space.

He said nothing for a moment, just looked at her with pain in his eyes. "What did they do to you, sweet girl?" he whispered.

Staring at the floor, she said nothing; not breathing, tears still streaming down her flushed cheeks.

"It's ok, Bella. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to get you out of here. Do you trust me?"

Her eyes would not meet his and after a long moment he tilted her chin up and looked into her frightened brown eyes. "Do you trust me?" he repeated.

She looked doubtful but nevertheless she nodded and said in a whisper, "Yes, Edward. I trust you."


	10. Escape

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and giving me her suggestions and encouragement!

**Chapter 10: Escape**

Sitting stock still on the edge of the bed, Bella waited. Reality was too awful to contemplate so instead she focused on what could have been. What she would have liked to experience had she not been trapped in this situation. She was not flirtatious nor did she fancy herself a swooning, giggling, ninny of a girl. But she could so easily let her mind entertain thoughts of walks with Edward, having him over for Sunday dinner, or a canoe ride across the pond. How she would love to have one more chance to see his smiling green eyes twinkle at her or feel his gentle hand grasp her own, even if it were just to help her down from a horse. The way her heart fluttered at the thought was pitiful in its impossibility.

The lock clicked, the doorknob turned, and the door creaked its way open. At the sound of boots against the hard wood floor entering her room her thoughts escaped again, desperate to be anywhere but in their present predicament.

In her mind she was walking down a lane shrouded in cherry blossoms on the arm of her bronze haired flight of fancy.

She heard him calling her name and when she looked he was gazing intently at her, the look on his face unfathomable. Her heart fluttered in the way it always did when she saw him. She could feel herself getting lost in his verdant gaze and she never wanted to leave the safety of its enveloping embrace.

Smiling, she mentioned the pie she'd made for him. She giggled and warned him not to tell her father about taking her home. With the way Daddy was set on Jacob, he wouldn't be too happy about Edward escorting her home yet again.

But he was confusing her.

Why would he ask her if she knew where she was? Of course she knew. But he was quite agitated and then he was shaking her and yelling.

The physical contact was what she needed to snap out of her daydream, reality rushing back in on her. And rush it did. Emotions buffeted her being so forcefully and so rapidly that she thought she might drown from the emotions alone.

_What is he doing here? Edward… paid for me?_

Overcome by fear, she scrambled her way across the bed, seeking distance from the one that would be her ruin.

As she stood opposite him on the other side of the bed disgust rooted itself in her psyche. Disgust bolstered her indignation and her eyes displayed her rage at the snake of a man now standing before her.

_How could he? Truly I was just a game to him. He saw his chance and now he's taking it. _

Edward's sharp eyes watched her as Bella's mind was busy adjusting its view of the scoundrel in front of her.

_How dare he? The bastard! _

She had thought James was evil. But this man had the nerve to masquerade as an upstanding man in society.

"Bella, baby, it's ok. I'm not going to hurt you," he said advancing on her.

She almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of his declaration. What did he think he was doing then?

"What are you doing here?" Her eyes welled up with tears and she pressed herself into the corner, her breath coming in short rapid bursts, as she thought about how she would be forced to give herself to this manipulative rogue.

He stopped and spoke in an overly calm voice, "It's ok, Bella. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to get you out and to take you home."

Her mind jerked back and forth in its opposing assumptions so rapidly that she had to fight to maintain her bearings.

_Get me out? Is he serious? _

She was so exhausted and she didn't know whom she could trust.

Perhaps his intentions were honorable after all. But even if he were telling the truth, it wasn't possible. They would be killed trying to escape.

She would have to lie to save them both.

"I can't go home! I don't want to go home! You need to leave."

The shock on his face was plain. "What? Bella, I'm not leaving you here. It's not going to happen. You're coming with me if I have to carry you out over my shoulder. I'm not leaving you with those filthy scoundrels!"

"Edward, they'll kill you. They'll kill me, or if they don't we'll wish they had." She closed her eyes against the pleading and determination she saw in his. She focused on steadily breathing – in – out – in – out. Maybe the rhythm would keep her sane.

She hadn't heard his approach but suddenly his hands were on her face and he was wiping away tears she didn't know had fallen.

"Shh, Bella, calm down. It's ok. I'm going to get you out of here and they aren't going to touch us."

His offer was intoxicating but she knew it would never work.

"No, you don't understand. We won't make it out alive. I know it," she tried to explain one more time.

"You let me worry about that, sweetheart," he said softly. But his arms moved to embrace her and she stiffened. She had learned what a man's arms could do and how they could violate without concern. When Edward's arms held her all she could feel was James as he roughly forced his kisses on her and the threat of more to come.

He quickly let her go and stepped back. But she could feel his gaze as he studied her and she studied the floor

"What did they do to you, sweet girl?" he whispered.

She could not reply. What could she tell him? There was nothing.

"It's ok, Bella. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to get you out of here. Do you trust me?"

How could she answer that? She didn't know whom to trust. But thinking again of James and his promise to "make good on his investment" and "make her his" all she could think was that perhaps she would be better off dead. Why not give it a shot? It was clear that Edward wasn't going to give in and leave as she'd asked so she might as well attempt to make an escape.

She felt his gentle fingers under her chin and he lifted till she was forced to return his gaze.

"Do you trust me?" he asked again.

And what could she say but "Yes, Edward. I trust you."

Bella was surprised by the beautiful smile that lit up his face at her words and she began to allow herself to hope that they might succeed.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Edward had thought it best to wait till it was dark to attempt their escape. That way the frivolities would be in full swing, the staff would be kept quite busy, and the darkness would provide anonymity.

After Bella's reassurance to Edward that she trusted him, their conversation was stilted.

Edward didn't seem to know quite what to say to her. He spent quite a bit of time rubbing his hands on his trousers and running them through his hair.

Likewise Bella didn't know what to say to Edward. The shame she felt at being found in this position was crushing; sheriff's daughter turned harlot. Her thoughts nagged that his heroics must be motivated by some charitable notion of saving her from herself. Yet he had been very kind.

"You know, I didn't ask to be here," she all but whispered.

Edward's eyes were solemn. "I didn't think you had." They were sitting side by side, albeit with a considerable distance between them, on the bed. "What happened?"

Bella was quiet for a time and then she drew in a shaky breath. "It wasn't my choice to become… this. I didn't want to be what I am-"

"What you are?"

Tears streamed down her face and her eyes were on her hands folded in her lap. "These clothes, this place, what I've become. A mere plaything for the fleeting lusts of anyone who pays to have me. You must be so disgusted by me."

She couldn't bear to look into his face and see her own feelings mirrored there.

After a moment Edward let out a short, quick breath, almost a laugh. "Bella, what you are is an innocent girl who was robbed of your choices. I have every confidence that you have not behaved in any unseemly way. Anything you have done has been for survival and at the heavy hand of cruel and despicable, poor excuses for humanity. Bella this is not who you are. This is not what defines you. You are a beautiful and loved girl with dignity and value. Don't let that trash tell you what you are."

She chanced a look at him and his green eyes were glowing fervently in unison with his words.

"And Bella I desperately hope that he was right about your innocence because, though I would without any hesitation, I am not in the mood to be killing anyone today."

She dropped her head and closed her eyes in embarrassment. "I am as he said." She could feel her cheeks burning and she wished she could be anywhere but there. This situation was ridiculous.

They were both silent for a while. Bella could hear the bawdy laughter and carousing of the crowd downstairs. It had been escalating for some time. The sun had set quite a while ago and the room was now solely lit by the two lamps.

"I think it is late enough. Are you ready for this?" he asked.

She nodded and then saw Edward pulling extra clothes out of his jacket.

"You'll never make it out in those clothes. I'm very sorry, but this is all I have. They'll be big on you, but you'll have to put these on," he said handing her the pile of men's clothes.

She took them and stared at them for a moment; she knew he was right, of course. He just stood there looking at her before blushing and quickly turning around.

"I'm sorry; I wish I could step out to give you some privacy. I'll just keep my back turned. Let me know when you're ready."

Bella's cheeks flamed as she set the clothes down on the bed and began to remove her dress. It was not complicated; this dress was meant to be removed. Aside from the dress the only undergarment she'd been allowed was a corset. She quickly removed the corset and blushed yet again realizing she was standing naked as a jaybird in the same room with Edward. She grabbed up the shirt and put it over her head, pulling it down. It went down to her knees and even with the collar buttoned all the way to the top, her shoulders seemed to show through the opening for the neck. Picking up the trousers, she could tell she would have some difficulty with them. She put them on and thankfully they had suspenders or else she had no idea how they would stay up. Rolling up the cuffs of the trousers, she sighed, looking at her feet. As for shoes, she would simply have to wear the satin slippers she was already wearing and hope no one would notice.

"Is everything alright?" Edward turned just a little then jerked back realizing his mistake.

"No, it's fine. I'm dressed," she said.

He turned around as she was tugging at her hair trying to decide what to do with it.

Staring… He was staring. _I must look ridiculous. This will never work._

But then he slowly picked his hat up off the bed, and walked over to her. "How is it possible that you are still so lovely in my old beat up clothes?" Reaching up, his fingers wound through her hair, gathering it into a loose knot on top of her head and a shiver ran down her spine. A couple stray tendrils fell against her neck and he swept those up too. Her breath hitched and she couldn't look away from his face as he took his hat and settled it on her head. He stepped back and surveyed her. "Hmmm."

He took a handkerchief from his pocket, held her chin in one of his large hands and gently removed the rouge from her lips. The thought went through her mind that she would be mortified if she fainted from his careful attentions.

Then reaching down, he wiped some dried mud off the top of his boots and crumbled it in his hands. "I'm very sorry about this," he said as he reached up and smeared the dirt on her cheeks, chin, and forehead. "You are just too beautiful. No one will believe for a second that you are a man unless we do something to disguise your face."

She held very still, not even breathing as he gently rubbed the dirt into her face. Then he rubbed more on her neck, front and back, her traitorous pulse quickening as his fingers fell just below the collar of the shirt. When he was done he brushed his hands off, took a deep breath and let it out through pursed lips.

"Ok, let's do this. Just stay with me. Don't move too quickly and keep your head down so people don't see your face."

She was trembling a bit but she nodded her agreement and he went over to ring the bell signaling for someone to come to the door.

It was a tense few moments but before long they heard someone approach the door, put the key in the lock and turn. Bella stayed behind Edward and as soon as the door opened, revealing one of the servant girls Edward grabbed Bella's hand, shoved his way through, and started down the hall.

"Help! Help! They're escaping! Come quick!"

Bella wrenched herself from Edward's grip, turned and ran back to the girl.

"I'm really sorry about this," she said as she drew her arm back and let it fly. A sound punch to the face sent the girl staggering back and collapsing on the floor unconscious.

Bella stared at the girl for a moment before turning around to look at Edward, a bit shocked at her actions. A large smile erupted on Edward's face as he reached back and grabbed her hand again, nearly running to the staircase.

But just as they reached them, Laurent was exiting the stairs, having heard the girl's cries. He came at Edward, trying to grab him by the throat, but Edward was quicker, ducking out of his reach, darting around Laurent's side and landing a solid fist into his kidney. Laurent reared back and Edward ripped a chain from the wall that was attached to a light, deftly slung it around Laurent's neck and squeezed, strangling the large man as he forced him towards Bella's open door. Shoving him inside and pulling tighter on the chain, Edward grunted with the force of his exertion. Laurent fell to his knees grasping futilely at the chain and finally slumped to the floor. Edward held the chain for just a beat longer to make sure Laurent was out cold. He then went out in the hall, picked up the poor servant girl and placed her in the room as well. Then taking the keys from Laurent's belt, Edward closed the door to Bella's former room and locked them in.

Bella stood gaping. Edward turned, grabbing her hand and said "Don't worry, love. He's only unconscious, and they'll be released eventually. But we don't want them coming to and spoiling our escape," as he pulled her along, leading them quickly down the stairs.

Near the bottom of the staircase he let go of her hand and said "Ok, just remember to stick with me and keep your eyes down."

Bella lowered the brim of the hat and slouched a bit, hands in her pockets, as she walked a little behind Edward. The saloon was crowded with dancing girls, inebriated and drooling men, along with some of James' other special girls. Her heart was pounding as though it wanted to beat its way right out of her chest. She could feel that her face was on fire and she was sure she would be spotted and found out.

Edward seemed completely comfortable; he was almost strutting in his confident way. Yet he still managed to keep himself from being too conspicuous.

Just then one of the girls skipped over to Edward, stopping him in his tracks. "Leaving so soon, handsome?"

Bella started to panic; her eyes darted left and right and tried to decide what her best course of action was. If she stopped along with Edward, surely the girl would take notice of her. But if she kept going, where would she go? So she continued on a few steps further and tried to blend with the crowd, leaning against a post and keeping her head down. She could hear Edward trying to loose himself from the girl's attentions.

"Yes, I've had a lovely visit here and now it's time to be on my way."

Bella glanced over and saw James sitting at a table, one girl on his lap, laughing and whispering in his ear while another sat next to him desperately trying to get his attention. Every now and then his eyes darted around the room and Bella's breath would speed up in fear of being caught. A couple times his eyes glazed over her form against the post but he didn't seem to recognize her amidst the fray.

The girl talking to Edward, however, would not give up.

"But cowboy, it's getting late and is no time for travel. Why don't you let me get you settled in a room? With the high price you paid, I'm sure I could get you a room on the house. I'd even be more than happy to join you at no additional cost."

Bella looked in James' direction again and she realized that he was eyeing her. She looked down and could still see him watching her out of the corner of her eye. Her palms began to sweat; she was sure he'd seen her.

"No thank you, Daisy. I appreciate it, but I really must be going. You have a good evening."

And with that he continued toward the door and Bella surreptitiously followed in his wake.

Stepping out into the cool night air, Edward turned and walked down the boardwalk to the side of the building. Bella followed behind as casually as she could manage. She could see horses and wagons kept up ahead.

"Edward I think James may have seen me," she whispered as Edward stepped off the boardwalk and walked behind a wagon.

"Don't worry about it. I've got you." Hoisting Bella up, he put her in the back of the wagon. "I'm sorry, it won't be the most comfortable ride but I think you'll have to stay back here out of sight at least to start with."

He almost ran back around to get the horses ready and then hopped up onto his seat. Bella moved to the front of the wagon and lay down so as not to be seen.

"Edward, what will we do? We can't travel at night, it's not safe."

Edward was quiet a minute as he guided the horses out to the street. Running his hand through his hair, he said "I have a friend here in Sacramento. We'll go there."

A/N: Let me know what you're thinking! I love hearing from you and I always respond to reviews! Oh, and also, I thought I'd give you a rec. Check out Sold, Sight Unseen by quothme if you need something to read. It is complete and not too long. It's so sweet and I loved it hard!


	11. The Arrangement

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me!

**Chapter 11: The Arrangement**

Michael Newton wasn't really a friend, but he was the closest thing Edward had to a friend in Sacramento. At the very least, Edward would be able to secure lodging and clothes for Bella there. He really would prefer to get her out of Sacramento as quickly as possible. He didn't want to risk being seen on the streets once the escape had been discovered. Bella had mentioned that she thought someone had seen her so Edward obsessively checked over his shoulders at every turn to make sure they hadn't been followed. So far he could see no one behind them so he thought it safe to go ahead and stay at Newton's for the night.

Bella lay completely still in the back of the wagon. He could only imagine the terror that must be gripping her and the immense amount of trust it must have taken to come with him. _Immense trust or incredible desperation_, he thought.

So Edward wended his way through the darkened streets of Sacramento, hoping that Newton would be able to help them. He pulled his horses to a stop in front of the darkened shop. Saying a prayer, he hopped off the seat and started towards the door.

"I can't go in there," Bella hissed.

"What? Of course you can. I'm just going to get us a room. You'll be safe here."

"No, you don't understand, I can't possibly go in there. Not now."

Returning to the wagon Edward raised his eyebrows waiting for an explanation.

Bella worried her bottom lip between her teeth and looked away. "I actually know Michael."

Edward just stared expectantly at her.

"I… well, I worked for him for a couple days when I first came to Sacramento… as a cook, I mean," she stuttered. "I, uh, left without giving him any notice."

The pieces started falling into place in Edward's mind. The pretty cook Michael had mentioned wanting to marry was Bella. Of course he wanted to marry her. Who wouldn't? He probably scared her off. Edward had to suppress a growl thinking that Bella had likely fallen prey to the worst of humanity simply because Newton couldn't keep his attraction under wraps causing Bella to feel the need to leave. He couldn't be sure that this is what happened but he would bet a good deal of money on it, that is if he had much money left.

"Please, I don't want anyone knowing where I was and what happened. He'll want to know where I went and I can't face him," her eyes pleaded with him.

"Ok Bella, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

Then he reached over the top of the wagon and lifted Bella effortlessly down to the road below.

"Just stand here." Then he walked up to the door and pounded solidly on the window, hoping Michael was still up but not at all opposed to waking him.

All was quiet and Edward pounded again. After a moment a light came on deep within the building. A moment later, Michael was opening the door, a look of confusion painting his features.

"Cullen, what are you doing here? I thought you were leaving for home this morning."

"I got held up in town a little longer than I expected. I need a room for myself and my friend. Please tell me you have one open."

It was hard to see in the darkness. Michael peered out and all he could see of Edward's friend was the hat atop his head.

Michael scratched his head and said "Yes, of course, I just have one tonight, but it's yours."

"Great! Thanks."

After Edward and Bella took care of the horses and wagon for the night in Michael's stable, they went back to Newton's. The front door had been left unlocked and Edward led the way for Bella inside. Newton was coming out of the kitchen into the dimly lit shop. Edward walked over to him, Bella hung back in the shadows.

Securing the key to their room Edward said, "Oh, and I forgot I told my mother I would pick up some clothes for her while I was here. Do you have any small women's clothes? I'll need a nightdress as well as a full set of town clothing."

"Err, yes, absolutely. They're over there on that table against the wall. Help yourself, just let me know what you select and I'll add it to your tab for the room."

"Thanks Michael, you don't know how much I appreciate this."

"Alright then, have a good night. We'll settle up in the morning," and Michael locked the door and headed up to his quarters, giving Edward a lantern.

Edward looked over at Bella and tipped his head towards the women's clothes.

"Get what you need, Bella."

She nodded and looked at the table and selected a few items.

"Get a bonnet too. The sun will be hot and you'll want your face hidden as much as possible while we're still in the city."

After she'd selected some items they headed upstairs to the room Michael had given them.

Bella went to use the wash room and Edward waited in the hall to make sure she was safe.

Entering the bedroom, the door closed with a thud. The gravity of the day's events and those to come hung like a fog in the room. Edward exhaled and turned around to look at Bella who looked about as skittish as a frightened doe.

"You must be exhausted, love," he couldn't seem to keep himself from using the term of endearment even though he knew he had not earned the right.

She nodded a bit, standing in the middle of the room, looking at the floor and fidgeting with the ridiculous clothes she was wearing. A couple times her eyes traveled to the bed and then quickly back to the floor.

"It's alright. You can have the bed, I'll take the floor," Edward said, sensing her trepidation.

"I… Thank you, that's very kind of you," she said, still not looking at him.

Edward scratched his head and said "Listen, I'm just going to go to the wash room. I'll give you some time to… Well, I'll be gone for a little while so you can have some time for yourself."

She looked up and gave him a small smile.

Grabbing his bag, he turned back to her. "I'm locking this behind me and I don't want you opening this door for anyone, I don't care who they say they are. I have the key, I will let myself back in."

Edward took his time in the wash room, using the facilities and cleaning up after the day. His mind kicked into overdrive trying to come up with a solution for the circumstances Bella now found herself in. When they returned to Rough and Ready what would await her? How would she support herself? He knew that Jacob Black would be there just ready to swoop in and steal her. It was essentially a foregone conclusion seeing as that's what Charlie Swan had arranged for her. But now Charlie was gone and clearly Bella didn't want that for herself. He didn't want her to run again; with the trouble she got into last time he would sooner see her marry Black. She was obviously willing to work but there weren't many jobs available for women there. The only ones he could think of were already taken. She could stay with Carlisle and Esme but would she accept it? Even if she did that wouldn't solve the Jacob problem.

Still wracking his brain for a solution he went back to the room. Unlocking the door and opening it slowly, he entered and saw that Bella was dressed for the night and sitting on the edge of the bed, her long brown hair tumbling down her back. She had cleaned the dried mud from her face and her cheeks were pink. She was a vision. How he would love to see those pink cheeks every night before bed and wake up to sleepy brown eyes in the mornings.

In that moment, he knew. He hadn't been able to take care of or protect _her_. But he would be damned if he didn't make sure that Bella was safe. He would never forgive himself if any harm befell her. Bella would not end up like _her_.

"Listen Edward, I am immensely grateful for what you did for me; getting me out of that… place. But I'm not going back to Rough and Ready with you tomorrow."

Edward knew he had to play his cards right if he wanted to keep Bella in his life. So he slowly approached the bed and sat next to her, making sure to give her the space she needed to feel safe.

She was a frightened and wild cat backed into a corner. He couldn't be demanding with her or she would bolt.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way, Bella."

Her eyes went wide for a moment. She hadn't expected that response. "Yes, well, I don't want to marry Jacob Black and if I go home I won't have any option since my dad," she paused and swallowed at the mention of her father, "already made an agreement with him. I know it's what my dad wanted, but only because he thought it would make me happy," she was watching her hands in her lap and a single tear streamed down her cheek.

Edward waited for a moment and said, "Ok, well, what are your options, Bella?"

"I… well… I…" she struggled in her thoughts. "I could find work here in Sacramento."

"What if your friends from the brothel find you?" he asked gently. "Sacramento is much bigger than Rough and Ready, but they would likely eventually see you, and then what?"

Edward couldn't bear to say goodbye to her. A plan was taking shape in his mind and he only hoped that Bella would agree.

Bella let out a short puff of breath and a tremor ran through her body.

"Ok, good point. Well, there are plenty of other small towns in the area…"

"Bella it would be very difficult for a woman to find respectable work in a small town where no one knows her."

"I'll go to San Francisco then."

"You don't know anyone there either and there are just as many evil people, if not more, in San Francisco. I know you are a strong woman and you're very courageous to have survived what you have but, Bella, do you really think it's wise to be out on your own knowing what you now know?"

She was quiet for a moment so he continued.

"And even if you could be guaranteed your safety, would that really make you happy?"

Her brown eyes were mournful as she looked up at him.

"I don't know. I just really want to make my life worth something. I want to spend it helping people. Maybe teaching or helping those who are less fortunate to have food and clothing or something. I know that sounds naïve but I really do. And honestly, what other choice do I have, Edward?"

He could see the deep disappointment in her eyes. She truly was beautiful and not just aesthetically. He had known nearly since he first laid eyes on her that she was different than all the typical vapid pretty girls. She was special. He began to allow himself to feel excited. Maybe he could pull this off. He certainly couldn't let her go now that he'd found her again.

"It doesn't sound naïve, you have a kind heart, Bella. There are so many people in Rough and Ready that you could help. I am sure you could do just about anything you set your mind to do. And I would support you one hundred percent. For starters I know you could help me. I reckon we could both help each other."

She was suspicious.

"Let's see, you don't want to marry Jacob, right?"

She just stared at him, a look of unimpressed expectation on her face

"Right, you've already said that. Anyway, my family's been pressuring me to get married myself. Frankly, there aren't any girls back in Rough and Ready right now that are the slightest bit interesting to me. So… what if we made an arrangement to help us both?"

"What kind of arrangement?" she asked warily.

"Ok, just hear me out." He took a deep breath before continuing, "You could come back to Rough and Ready with me… as my wife."

The incredulous expression on her face might have been comical if Edward wasn't so nervous.

"What? Edward, you're crazy. We can't get married!" she spluttered.

"No, we won't actually get married. We'll just tell everyone we did. Listen, we'll go back, you can live in my house. Don't worry, you'll have your own room. I promise you will always be safe with me. We'll live together, but only act as husband and wife in public with the occasional chaste public display. Really, you'd be doing me a favor," he smiled.

_There's no way she's going to go for this._

She just sat, a look of bewilderment on her beautiful features.

"Edward… that's… I mean you… Edward there is no way we can do this!"

"Why not?"

"We can't get married just for artifice."

"Bella, what do you think arranged marriages are? And really, we wouldn't be married. We'd just let other people believe we were married."

"You mean lie."

"Well they don't have to know the details of our arrangement. It would keep you from having to marry Jacob and make my life a whole lot easier," he reasoned with a smirk on his face.

"Edward, no."

"Is there someone else you are interested in, Bella?" he asked, eyes wide.

"No, of course it's not that. It's just… What if it doesn't work out the way you think it would? What if we couldn't pull it off? What if one day you wanted to marry someone? Then what?"

"Bella, we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it, ok? Look, we can work it out. I'm sure of it."

It wasn't the most conventional way to court a woman, but if it meant keeping Bella around and hopefully having the chance to win her over, Edward was going to give it a shot.

"Edward, you can't support me just to get your family off your back, that's too much."

"Alright, well how about this? You could cook for us. I am a terrible cook and I barely survive the days I don't eat at Carlisle and Esme's place."

She still didn't look convinced.

"Ok, you could keep house too," he tried some more. "You wanted to find work. You could consider this your work. But of course, I wouldn't treat you like an employee. I mean, I would treat you with respect, as my… partner."

"But… what would people say? I mean, I was supposed to marry Jacob and then we both leave town separately and show back up married?"

"It doesn't matter what people say. The important thing is you'll be safe, you'll be able to work respectably, and you can go from there and do whatever you want in terms of helping people or teaching or whatever you want to do. And you can do it all in a place you know and are comfortable in and with people who know and love you."

"I… I just don't know what to say…"

"Ok, Bella, no pressure, this is your decision. You've been through a lot; I know this is a lot to process. Listen, why don't you sleep on it? I know you're beyond exhausted. You can let me know what you think in the morning. We'll go from there."

He stood up, took her hand and pulled her from the bed. Then turning down the covers he guided her back to the bed and she lay down. He tucked her in and leaning over he placed his hand on her cheek. Her eyes were unreadable and he silently pleaded with her, _Please let me take care of you sweet girl_.

Then crossing the room, he turned out the lamp and lay down on the floor to go to sleep.

From his makeshift bed he looked up and saw the form of her body illuminated in the moonlight. His heart swelled thinking about how she might come to live with him and how he would get to see her every day and have the chance to show her the way he felt. He wanted to go to her right then and tell her everything he was thinking and feeling but he knew that it would have to be done slowly and with care. He said a silent prayer that she would agree to the arrangement. He didn't know what he would do if she said no.

Surprisingly, sleep came easily to Edward. Even sleeping on the hard floor and with all the uncertainty he slept well knowing that Bella was safe for the night and right there.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

In the morning Edward woke to the sounds of the streets coming alive to the new day. His eyes immediately went to Bella. She was on her side, facing him. She was so peaceful. He stayed where he was, just watching as she gently inhaled and exhaled, her lips pouting in sleep.

As he watched, mesmerized by those lips, she spoke softly, "Edward." He felt a bit embarrassed about being caught and he sheepishly raised his gaze to her eyes but they were still closed and she said nothing more. She was talking in her sleep and she had said his name. Warmth filled him from that single involuntary action.

Rising to his feet he went over to her bed and brushed a wayward chestnut tendril away from her face. Her eyes snapped open and she jumped back sucking in a great gasp of air, her breathing instantaneously heavy as though she had just run a great distance.

Edward in turn jumped back quickly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"

She was still breathing heavy, wide eyes fixed on him for several moments before her breathing slowed and she dropped her eyes to the bed.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I thought… never mind."

He wondered what her panic was about but thought better than to ask. Someday maybe she would trust him enough to tell him what had happened.

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize. I'm just sorry I scared you."

She turned away from him and sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I think I'll just go to the wash room," she said.

They repeated their routine from the night before of taking turns in the wash room. After Edward finished cleaning himself up he went downstairs to settle the bill with Newton. When he returned to the room Bella was dressed in her new dress, her hair pinned up. She was turned away from him, looking out the window to the street below. He closed the door softly and went over to the small table to pick up his hat.

"So," he started.

"Let's do it," she said.

"What?" he asked, suddenly at alert. "Really?"

She sighed, "Yes. We have an agreement," she turned to face him, "I think you're right. I think we can be good for each other. I mean, we can help each other out, that is."

She had an alluring blush on her cheeks and he couldn't have wiped the stupid grin off his face if he tried.

"Alright, great. Umm, well, shall we be going then? We have a long day ahead of us."

She let out a long shaky breath and wiped her hands on her skirt. "Yes, I suppose so."

The two left the room and went down the stairs, Bella fixing her bonnet on her head. As they reached the storefront Bella separated from Edward and went off to the other side of the store trying to avoid being seen by Michael. Unfortunately he spotted her and made a beeline straight for her.

"Bella, hi," he said, taking her hand with a concerned look on his face. "Are you ok? I've missed you."

She froze, not knowing what to say.

Just then Edward swooped in, possessively putting his arm around her waist. "Michael, good morning. I see you've met my wife."

If Bella had been still before, she was a statue now, not even breathing.

"Uh," Michael stuttered. "I'm sorry; did you say your wife?"

He was still holding her hand. Edward smiled and reached over to release Bella from Michael's grasp, still holding her waist with his other hand.

"That's right, my wife. We were only just married yesterday," he smiled and sighed. "Yes, we were old friends from back home and I had wanted to ask her for quite some time. Then we bumped into each other here in Sacramento and to my great pleasure, she said yes. So we figured, there's no time like the present, right Newton?"

"But I thought," Michael began but Edward stopped him there.

"Well, no matter," he said, clapping Michael on the shoulder. "We'll just be on our way now. Thank you very much for the accommodations."

With that, Edward guided Bella, his hand resting on the small of her back, out the front door and over to the stable to get the horses and wagon leaving Michael, his mouth still hanging slightly open, still trying to determine exactly what had happened.

Once everything was ready with the wagon, Edward and Bella rode out of the stable and worked their way through the streets of Sacramento.

What they didn't see was the lone man atop his stallion watching and waiting and then following at a distance so as not to be detected.

_The game is on_, the man thought.

**A/N: Well, what did you think? Let me hear you! :) Until next week...**

**Oh and if you need something else to read, take a look at one of these:**

**Green by Bratty-vamp: She's just started this fun little story and it promises to be wonderful like all her other stories. If you haven't checked her out yet, you should do it right now! My favorite of her stories is Abbracciare il Cantante. **

**Awake in the Infinite Cold by quothme: This story is very sweet and it has a bittersweet ending. It is a sad one, but definitely worth the journey. **

**Seducing Ms. Swan by DQRC: It's now complete! And so good! **


	12. Homecoming

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

Thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me!

**Chapter 12: Homecoming**

This arrangement that Edward had come up with was utterly ridiculous, altogether unthinkable. So when Bella actually began to consider it, she realized that she must be either crazy or pitifully desperate. And when she agreed to the charade she knew without a doubt that she was a complete fool. _What option do I have,_ she reasoned with herself.

She had accepted with a great deal of misery that she was just a young girl in a world of men that wanted to control her. At this moment she had been given a choice; a choice as to which man she would allow to have some control over her life. She could strike out on her own again but she knew where that had gotten her last time. Maybe it would be different this time but she couldn't be sure. Even if she had a good job she might be saddled with a boss like Michael Newton. He was kind, but she knew the destination of his attentions. She never wanted to be in a situation where she was forced to flee and then be taken and abused like she had been at the brothel.

She had never thought she could end up in a place like that. She was a good girl. She had always obeyed her father. She studied diligently while in school. She worked hard at home. She attended church. She was not the type of girl to allow herself to be kept in a house of ill repute. Yet it had happened all the same. She had learned what a cruel world she lived in.

Bella didn't know what Edward's intentions were with this arrangement. But she had told him that she trusted him and so far he had not let her down. So she decided she would trust him, at least for now, never to force her into anything and to not make her uncomfortable. She still briefly entertained romantic notions toward him but she knew she had to be careful with those feelings. They could get her into trouble, especially since she didn't really know him and had no assurances of his feelings for her. More than likely he saw her as a charity case.

She had almost called off the whole deal after he'd introduced her as his wife for the first time. She had frozen like a block of ice right there in front of Michael. She couldn't help the way she thrilled to the sound of his proud voice declaring that they had been married, to the feel of his hand on her waist, silently but not so subtly informing Michael to back off. Yet she warred with herself; at once feeling giddy and yet belligerent. After everything she'd been through, the last thing she wanted was to be another man's possession.

No, she would go and live with Edward. She would be his cook and his housekeeper in exchange for room and board. And she would play along with the farce that he had proposed. It was all she could do if she wanted to be safe.

They rode through Sacramento side by side on the seat of his wagon behind his horses in relative quiet. The sun was out; it was quite warm for early November. Keeping her eyes hidden behind her bonnet, she did not look at him. As they passed the last of the homes and buildings of the city into the wilderness area he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"So Bella, if we are going to pull this off, I suppose I should know a little more about you."

"What would you like to know?"

"Well, why don't you tell me about growing up in Rough and Ready? What was that like?"

She laughed a little. "Well… About like you would expect, I imagine. Small town, everyone knows you and everything about you. Although, we were never completely accepted there."

Edward looked at her quizzically.

"See, they don't consider us locals because my parents moved there from San Francisco. They had come west just after getting married and at first settled in the city. But my dad craved the small town life and convinced my mom to go for it. He loved it but I don't think she ever really adjusted. She felt trapped there but made the best of it. She died when I was five. She just got sick one day and was gone within a few days."

Bella was quiet for a few moments and Edward took her hand in his.

"I'm very sorry, Bella."

She smiled slightly, "Anyway, I had to grow up pretty quickly after that, not that I minded. My dad needed me and I helped as much as I could. I cooked and cleaned for him. I washed the clothes and even chopped firewood when needed. Dad was always busy with the Sheriff's office. I went to school at the Rough and Ready school house. But I never really fit in with the rest of the kids. Even though I was born there, I was still considered an outsider. What's worse is that the boys were always out playing Cowboys and Indians and the girls were always fussing over hair ribbons and new dresses. None of that was of interest to me. But that was alright. Dad was friends with Billy Black and so I was always with him when he went for a visit. Jacob and I would play together." Her face twisted for a moment and Edward squeezed her hand, encouragingly.

"When I was fourteen I overheard a conversation between Billy and my dad. Billy was telling my dad that Jacob was sweet on me. I heard them talking about how nice it would be if we got married one day. I couldn't believe it. I mean, Jacob was my buddy," she shook her head softly. "So I just ignored it. Jacob and I continued to be friends but as time wore on it became increasingly uncomfortable as it became more and more obvious that he did in fact want to marry me and that Billy and Charlie were in cahoots. Jacob also made it clear that he wanted to get married and immediately start having children. He wanted me home cooking and sewing while he worked the land," she said with a grimace.

Edward watched her, transfixed.

"I mean, there's nothing wrong with being a wife and mother. It's a wonderful thing and maybe someday…" she peeked at him through the corner of her eye suddenly feeling the need to stop that train of thought. "Umm, well, I really just wanted to be a teacher or to help those down on their luck. That wouldn't happen if I'd married Jacob."

She looked off out into the forest.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I told you all that."

"No Bella, it's fine. I'm glad you did. It helps me to know you better."

Neither one spoke for a few minutes.

"So I would say that it's an understatement that Jacob won't be happy about this," he said quietly.

She said nothing, just continued staring off into the trees.

After a few moments she spoke, "So Edward, why don't you tell me about you?"

"Well, there's not too much to tell. My mother died when I was 8. Carlisle and Esme took me in, they later took in Emmett and Alice. We had a loving family. I went to medical school and then apprenticed under Carlisle. Then we decided to come west. Really it was a miracle we all made it alive and no one died of cholera. Now I'm taking a break from medicine and working the land. I'm not sure if I'll continue with that or go back to medicine or do something entirely different," he said as he looked over at her. "I guess we have a few similarities."

"Edward, I'm so sorry about your mother. I know how difficult that is. But at least I was blessed to have my dad. Did your father pass away as well?" she asked with wide eyes.

He said nothing at first, only scowling at the road ahead.

"I… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have," but he cut her off.

"No, you are free to ask me anything you wish," he exhaled roughly. "I don't know my father."

"He is still living then?"

"Bella, I don't know him… because… I don't know who he is."

She was startled and couldn't fathom never having the chance to know where you came from. "Oh… I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Don't be," was his only response.

They were quiet for a while just watching the scenery go by. Bella thought she heard a horse's whinny and turned around to look behind the wagon. She thought she saw a man on horseback riding along the trail far behind them. But then as quickly as she'd seen him, he vanished making her question if he'd really been there at all.

She glanced over and Edward was looking too.

"Did you see that?" she asked.

He didn't say anything, just continued looking over his shoulder for a moment.

"I'm not sure. Probably nothing."

But Bella noticed that he seemed a bit on edge after that. Surely people must travel this way all the time but it did seem odd that the rider just disappeared immediately after they noticed him following. But after several minutes had passed and they neither saw nor heard anything more they both relaxed and the two settled into an easy conversation, getting to know each other better.

Bella was surprised that even though she felt a great deal of nervousness over returning to Rough and Ready and pulling off this arrangement, she was enjoying Edward's company immensely. They laughed and chatted as though they'd been friends for a very long time.

Bella was still giggling over a story that Edward had told her about from when he was growing up with Emmett when he suddenly got very quiet. She glanced over at him and the look on his face was pained.

"Bella, what happened in Sacramento? How did you end up in that place?"

Immediately the smile dropped from her face and panic gripped her chest. But the way his concerned eyes bored into hers was so gripping that she wanted to tell him. She found herself strangely compelled to disclose anything and everything about herself, including the darkest days of her existence.

She took a deep breath and let it out. He reached over and took her hand in his, just as he had done earlier.

"Umm… well… I told you that I had worked for Michael Newton and that's true. When I first arrived in Sacramento he gave me a job cooking for him. He was a little friendlier than I was comfortable with," Edward growled at the mention of Michael's flirtatiousness. "Really nothing inappropriate. I just didn't feel like I could work for him with the way he clearly felt. Anyway, I was out looking for other work one evening and a lady told me her boss had some positions open. Foolishly, I went with her to meet him and was forced into that room."

Edward's eyes were a torrent of green as he looked into hers. "Bella, what did they do to you?"

She was caught in his stare. She didn't think she could have looked away if a stampede of wild horses passed them on the trail. But what could she say? She didn't want to even think about what had happened, much less verbalize it.

Her mouth opened, only no sound came out. After a moment Edward released her hand and put it around her shoulders.

"It's alright, sweet girl. Maybe one day you'll trust me enough to tell me."

A heavy silence fell over them as they continued on. Edward, burdened for the beautiful girl that was playing as his wife and Bella, terrified to trust yet cautiously moving forward and choosing to do so in the face of all her pain. Both were ever conscious of the journey they were embarking on together, both filled with questions and concerns as to how they would play this off, especially in the arena that was small town life.

By the end of the day they were dusty and road weary. Edward stopped in Auburn and went to the inn where he had stayed on his way to Sacramento.

Bella heard the loud music coming from inside, the laughing, and the sounds of drunken merriment.

Her face must have betrayed her discomfort because Edward spoke up.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I wish there was a better place to stay but Auburn is our best choice and this is the only inn here."

"Don't worry, Edward. Of course it will be fine."

They walked up to the door, Edward opened it for Bella and they went inside. Bella walked in and then waited for Edward to lead the way. She refused to look at the crowd of carousers. She knew what she would see there and she had no desire to witness any more of that. So she kept her eyes on Edward as he led the way to the owner of the inn.

He made arrangements for their room and the two escaped the raucous activities going on in the saloon in favor of their room upstairs.

They went about their routine for the night and settled in for sleep; Bella in the rustic bed and Edward again on the floor.

Everything was still. Surprisingly they could not hear the sounds from downstairs safely locked in their room. The only sounds were the rustling of blankets and the soft breathing coming from a frightened girl and a troubled boy.

Lying in the oppressive darkness after they'd said goodnight, after the day's welcome distractions had ceased, Bella began to think about her time in the brothel.

An invisible weight pressed down on her chest and she felt as though the secret was too big for her own heart to contain.

It gnawed at the edges, it pulsated and breathed as though it had a life of its own, it consumed her whole.

She knew she would not be able to keep it in, it was only a matter of time; she knew it was desperate to get out.

And she knew there would be no getting around telling Edward the awful story.

And then, without any real volition, the secret poured forth like too much water in a cup.

Bella began to tell the tale of what had happened to her. She told of fighting James as he dragged her to the room, of his bruising kisses, of her forced starvation and beatings, of the threats against her life should she not perform as expected, and of James' promise that he would make her his.

Before she even realized it, Edward had come and sat next to her on the bed, pulling her up and holding her close. She sobbed into his chest as he rubbed her back, stroked her hair, and told her that she was beautiful, that she was strong, that she was courageous, and that he would never let James touch her again.

She fell asleep in his arms, tears still streaming down her face as he continued to soothe her, his own emotions a turbulent storm raising in its intensity; the deep pain he felt for this amazing creature, the immense relief that he had been able to get her out before anything worse befell her, and the blazing anger, a fierce inferno, that he felt towards her captors. He knew if he ever got his hands on this James that he would end him.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Bella awoke the next morning tucked safely in her bed. Edward was asleep on the floor, his breathing deep and slow. She didn't remember when he had left the bed the night before but she felt a bit freer having relieved herself of her burden by giving a bit of it to this man that would be her husband for _almost_ all intents and purposes.

Edward had proved himself to be gentle and caring. Maybe this arrangement wouldn't be so difficult after all. It had been easy spending time with him, as easy as breathing. He had seen to her needs, he had tended her wounds. In fact Bella began to think that the only thing that would be difficult about this situation was managing the undeniable attraction to him that was growing inside her.

Then Bella's thoughts turned towards her homecoming. She knew people would talk. She knew she'd have to give some kind of account for where she had gone. She knew she would have to face consequences for her actions. She knew there would be all sorts of suppositions made about why she had left and about how she hadn't honored her father's wishes and married Jacob.

Jacob.

That was another huge issue. She knew this would break his heart. And as much as she didn't want to marry him and spend her life with him, she loathed the idea of hurting him. She knew she had already hurt him deeply by leaving, but this would be a slap to the face. No, much more than that, it would be as though she were stabbing him through the heart, cutting it out of his chest, and stomping it into the dirt. She had no doubt that he loved her with everything he had and there would be no way of making this better for him.

Just then Edward rolled over, looking up at her. She looked down and smiled a bit. Her eyes felt swollen and she knew she probably looked frightful but Edward's answering smile warmed her from within and she forgot about what she was sure was her horrid appearance and just enjoyed waking up with him there.

Understandings seemingly passed between their gazes before Edward broke the trance.

"Good morning sweet girl."

She felt her cheeks warm. "Good morning, Edward."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Surprisingly, yes I did. Thank you for listening to me last night. I'm sorry I just dumped everything on you, I couldn't seem to keep it in," she said shaking her head a bit.

"Don't ever be sorry. It's my job to take care of you now."

She frowned a bit. "Edward, I'm not your responsibility."

"No, but we take care of each other. You may not be mine. But I'm honored that you would trust me in this way and I never want to break your trust be it with your mind, body, or spirit."

Was he real? How had she found herself in such a relationship? Why would he care so much? What was he really gaining from all this? It seemed that there was something else he wasn't saying. Perhaps she should have been concerned but Bella could not seem to fear him.

"Well, thank you all the same."

He simply smiled in response.

They arose and readied themselves for another long day of travel. Edward had a bit of food left that Esme had sent with him and he shared it with her for their breakfast.

Then they both went downstairs to start their day.

They reached the saloon and before they were even halfway to the door a sultry voice rose above the sounds of the early crowd.

"Edward! How wonderful to have you with us again!" a strawberry blonde woman, dressed in a revealing costume, exclaimed rushing over to him, hanging on his arm and pressing her décolletage against him. "Why don't you come on over and take a load off, I'll take real nice care of you," she said, batting her long lashes flirtatiously. She was so focused on him that she didn't even notice that Bella was there.

"Ahh, thank you Tanya. I'm just here with my wife," he said reaching back and taking Bella's hand and placing it in the crook of his free arm. Bella reluctantly stepped forward, a blush staining her cheeks at Edward's use of the term wife. She regarded the other woman. Bella didn't like the way she was looking at Edward. She tried to squelch the surge of jealousy she felt; Edward wasn't really her husband and it wasn't her business how they knew each other.

Tanya was stunned at first but recovered herself quite quickly. "Oh, how lovely to have you here, Miss…"

"Mrs., actually," Edward said with a smile. "You may call her Mrs. Cullen."

"Well, Mrs. Cullen. I hope that you will be right comfortable here."

"Actually, we were just leaving," Edward said.

Surprising herself, Bella took the chance to stake her claim. "Yes, and _my husband_ and I were very comfortable here, thank you."

The grin on Edward's face as he beamed down at her was blinding in its intensity. He seemed to have eyes only for her.

Tanya huffed a little then took her leave, but Bella couldn't help but think about the familiarity that Tanya seemed to have had with Edward. Bella knew he had stayed there on his way to Sacramento but Tanya must have had some kind of interaction with him to have remembered his name, and he hers. It was fairly obvious what service Tanya provided at the saloon and inn. Even though just a mere hour before she had been allowing herself to warm up to the idea of their arrangement doubts crept into Bella's mind as to what Edward's true character was and as to what his real motives were with her.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The ride was long. Bella was exhausted bumping along the road in the dust. Even though the sun was out it was significantly cooler, the higher up into the mountains they traveled and Edward pulled a blanket out to keep her warm. Occasionally he would put his arm around her shoulders and pull her in close to warm her. It simultaneously made her heart flutter and her nerves jumpy.

Her mind couldn't help but replay the encounter with Tanya. Had Edward utilized her services or had they merely met by chance when he came through before? When he had protected her from Jacob's advances at the Harvest Dance and when he rescued her in Sacramento she had her doubts but ultimately decided to trust him and thought him chivalrous. Was he really just an opportunistic scoundrel with a polished veneer looking for a conquest? She had no way of knowing for certain. But she couldn't deny the way her heart warmed with every kind word and the way her body reacted with every thoughtful touch and that alone scared her.

She knew she would have to steel herself against him. Whether he was trying to use her or not she didn't think it would be healthy to allow herself to have feelings for him. If he was using her, then obviously he couldn't be trusted. And if he wasn't, then he was just being kind and helping her out in a tough situation and it would be pathetic of her to fall in love with him when he was just trying to help her out.

"So, Bella, we need to come up with our story. People will want to know what happened to you when you left and how it came about that we got married."

"Umm, right. How about, I needed to get away when my dad died, so I went for a trip to Sacramento and worked for a little while as a cook and…. Umm…"

Edward cleared his throat a little and took her hand. He suddenly seemed nervous and his voice took on a husky quality as he began.

"How about we say that I came into your restaurant and we met up. I confessed that I had fallen for you that first day I had seen you in front of the Sheriff's office reading that book under that old oak tree, looking devastatingly beautiful with the breeze blowing in your hair."

Her mouth dropped open a little in surprise, remembering that first day she had seen him in town. She couldn't believe he remembered that.

He was quiet for a moment before continuing.

"That I was captivated by your mind during our brief conversation in the general store, that I couldn't stop thinking about you every waking hour and even in my dreams," his voice grew quiet, "that when I saw you at the Harvest Dance my poor pitiful lovesick heart loathed the sight of you with another man and wanted to steal you away from Jacob Black and hold you in my arms on the dance floor more than anything else," he looked down at her and continued, "that when you agreed to ride home with me after Jacob forced himself on you I could hardly keep my own hands off you, it was all I could do not to touch you more than necessary, and that our conversation on that ride only confirmed my deep admiration and devotion to you because of your beautiful, loving, and selfless heart."

Bella realized she wasn't breathing. He sounded so sincere as he described the circumstances of the first few times they met. This certainly painted a different picture than what she had at first perceived. She couldn't help but remember the scowl he had on his face the night of the Harvest Dance and briefly entertained the thought that the scowl was because she was with Jacob.

No, that couldn't be. He simply was embellishing the story of how they met into a believable tale of their supposed growing love so they could convince others. The trouble was, Bella was tempted to allow herself to be convinced as well.

He stared at her for a minute before clearing his throat and turning his attention back to the horses and the road.

"That when I ran into you in Sacramento I knew I had to take a leap and lay all my hopes at your feet, that I was the happiest man in the world to learn that you returned my affections, at least enough to give me a chance, and that when you miraculously agreed to marry me I couldn't wait to make you mine."

She didn't know what to say but managed, "Uh… well, that's a bit dramatic and we may want to leave out the bits about Jacob… but I suppose that will work as well as anything."

"Bella, you left your betrothed and we married on a whim. It's going to have to be dramatic," he said with a crooked smile.

"Right," she said feeling a bit sick at the thought of Jacob's reaction.

The rest of the day passed in relative quiet, Bella trying to build up her defenses and Edward thoughtful about what was to come at home.

They pulled into Edward's property in the late evening. Edward took Bella into the house and took her to his room.

"This will be your room. I want you to be comfortable here. Please, this is your home, make it yours," he said softly.

Bella surveyed the room with the beautiful bed and lovely chest of drawers. She noticed men's clothes draped on a chair in the corner and looked back to Edward who was watching her.

"Is this your room?"

His eyes never left hers. "It was. I'll clean most of my stuff out but should probably leave some for the appearances. It's the nicest room at the moment. I'm still building furniture for the other rooms."

"Edward, I can't take your room."

"Bella, I want you to be happy here and this is the most comfortable place for a lady. Besides," he said as he looked down "I'm fine anywhere and if my family were to happen upon your things in a different room they would wonder why we weren't sharing a room. If my things were in a different room they would just assume I was being messy and had my stuff strewn everywhere," he took her hand in his. "I would be delighted if you would take it," he said, raising her hand to his lips and kissing the back, his other hand running slowly down the length of her forearm toward her elbow.

Bella fought to withstand his achingly sweet ministrations.

_He is either manipulating me or merely acting out of kindness_, she reminded herself.

Her rational thought was futile in its attempt to calm her thundering heartbeat as he lowered her hand but didn't release it, his other hand cupping the back of her elbow, and he continued to look deeply into her eyes. She knew she was in trouble. She knew she was falling. At the moment she couldn't find it within herself to even want to care.

Just then the front door swung open downstairs and loud footsteps echoed across the floor.

"Edward!" a loud male voice bellowed.

Edward released her hand, put on a forced smile, and said with lightness, "So, are you ready to meet Emmett?"

**A/N: So what did you think? Let me know, I love to hear from you! I answer every review I receive! Also, let me know how you heard about my story? I'm always interested to hear. Thanks and I hope you have a great week! Until next time...**


	13. Facing the Music

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

As always thanks to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me and for her encouragement!

**Chapter 13: Facing the Music**

"Boy, Edward. Am I ever glad you're home!" Emmett called. "Edward?"

"Upstairs, Emmett."

"Boy, I tell you, Esme's been about ready to have a stroke," he said as he trudged up the stairs. "She was expecting you last night and I told her something small must've come up and that you'd be home soon. But she sure is…" he trailed off as he came around the corner and saw Bella standing next to Edward.

"Uhh, hello."

"Emmett, you remember Bella Swan."

"Uhh, yeah. Hi. How do you do?" he said, taking her hand.

"Bella is… well… she's my wife," Edward said, placing his arm around her waist.

Emmett froze, his face a blank expression.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?" he asked, dropping her hand.

He swallowed and said, "Emmett, Bella is my wife. Meet your new sister in law," holding Emmett's stunned gaze.

Emmett slowly straightened, eyeing Edward and said "Very nice to see you Bella, I'm sorry I will have to borrow your husband for a moment. Edward come outside with me?"

He hadn't been surprised by Emmett's request that really wasn't a request at all.

"I'll be right back, love," he said, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek and following behind Emmett's already retreating form.

Emmett's frame was stiff as he opened the door and walked straight out to the barn, not once turning around.

Edward entered the barn behind him and Emmett wheeled around, "What in the hell are you doing, Edward?" his eyes beseeched him. "Is this for real? Did you really marry her?"

Edward felt lower than low lying to his family. He wished with everything he had that he could share what was going on with them but if he and Bella were going to pull this off he had to maintain the charade with everyone, including those he was closest to.

"Yes, we married yesterday in Sacramento," he said looking Emmett square in the eye.

Emmett was bewildered.

"What in the hell did you do that for? I mean, if you like her, go about it the normal way, court her. Give Carlisle and Esme a little time to enjoy your relationship. Do you have any idea how upset they're going to be? Damn it!" he ranted. "We've all wanted to see you happily settled down! I know you liked her… but come on brother! Don't you think Esme would have liked to have been at your wedding? I mean…" he continued, running his hand through his hair. "Damn it!"

Edward nodded a bit. "Yes, I know, it was terribly inconsiderate. But what can I say? We are in love. If I had've brought her back here first she would have been obligated to marry Jacob Black. I couldn't risk it. God help me, I wanted her and to my great pleasure, she didn't want Black, she wanted me. Carlisle and Esme will be upset at first, but they will get over it. And the family will grow to love her just as I have."

Emmett was shaking his head and pacing back and forth. "I knew you were sweet on her… but this? This is unbelievable. How did you even find her anyway?"

"She was working as a cook and I went into her diner and we struck up a conversation. The rest happened so easily and neither of us wanted to be apart."

"I can't believe this, brother," Emmett sighed, stopping for a moment and looking seriously at Edward. "Well… I guess what's done is done… At least you picked a good one," he said, shaking his head. Then he started laughing, "Buddy, I don't envy you when Black gets wind of this," he said clapping him on the shoulder.

Edward laughed a bit and shook his head. "Yes, I imagine he'll be none too happy."

"Well, I suppose I had better get back to the house. You, ahh, you might want to stop over and see Carlisle and Esme. She's probably still wringing her hands with worry."

Nodding, Edward said "Yes, and I need to let them know about Bella before they come over. I don't want her feeling any more uncomfortable than necessary."

Emmett agreed and slapped Edward on the back. "Well, I've spoken my piece. That's all you'll hear from me on the subject. Congratulations, brother. I do hope you'll be happy together," he said with a smile and another laugh.

"Thanks, Emmett. I think I'll just go make sure Bella is comfortable and then I'll head over to Carlisle and Esme's."

"You do that. Make sure she's real comfortable," Emmett waggled his eyebrows and laughed a bit, turning to leave.

"Alright, that's enough," he said, unbidden images assaulting his mind of laying her on his bed and… He shook his head to rid himself of the inappropriate thoughts and willed his body to behave as he turned to go back into the house.

Edward had known that Emmett would be the easy one. He never could stay upset for long, always looked at the positive side, and once he spoke his mind would never be disparaging about it again.

When Edward went back into the house he found Bella in the kitchen.

"I just thought I'd find something for us to eat," she said quietly.

"Oh, thank you. You go ahead and eat something, anything you find in here is fine. I apologize there's not much at the moment. We'll have to go shopping soon. I'm going to go over to Carlisle and Esme's and let them know I'm back and also tell them the happy news" he said with a slight smile.

"Oh… umm… should I go with you?"

"No Bella, don't be silly. You stay here, find something to eat and get comfortable. If you get tired, feel free to go to bed. I'll be back in a little while but I'm going to lock the door. Just stay inside for now, alright?"

"Of course."

He turned to leave and she called out to him again.

"Edward?"

He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"Thank you. For everything."

A smile graced his face and he said, "It is my great pleasure, sweet girl."

The walk to Carlisle and Esme's was too short. He wasn't looking forward to the scene that would unfold when he told them of his supposed marriage to Bella.

Esme had seen him coming before he even made it to their porch. She threw open the door, exclaiming "Oh Edward! I'm so glad you're home! We missed you darling," and hugged him fiercely when he reached her.

Walking into the house, he saw Carlisle sitting in a chair by the fire with a book.

Looking up he said "It's good to see you, son."

"Thanks Dad. It's good to see you both too."

"Edward, let me bring you some sandwiches. Please sit here with your father, I'll be right out."

"Sure, Mom."

Edward sighed deeply and rubbed the back of his neck, sitting in the chair opposite his father near the fire.

"I had these all made up from dinner. You must be exhausted, dear. Please eat and have something to drink," Esme said bustling out to the sitting room and bringing Edward a nice assortment of food on a tray.

"Thank you, Mom," he said taking the tray.

When Edward grimaced a bit Esme said, "Oh, I'm sorry, would you rather have something else?"

"No, this is great, really. Please… umm… could you just have a seat?"

She did as he asked, a look of concern coloring her soft features.

Carlisle looked up then too, noticing the nervous tone in his son's voice.

Edward stared into the fire and scratched his neck, searching for the words to make this as easy as possible.

"Well… the trip to Sacramento was very nice. I was able to get the things we needed and the travel was smooth."

"That's good," Carlisle said. "What's on your mind, son?"

Edward let out a slow breath through pursed lips, "Well, actually there is. I sort of… met someone."

Esme's eyes brightened and a beautiful smile lit up her face. "That's wonderful, dear. I'm sure she must be lovely."

"Yes, she is… absolutely lovely in fact. I suppose I didn't actually meet her on the trip. I, uhh… already knew her. In fact, you'll remember Bella Swan."

"Oh dear," Esme exclaimed.

The room was silent for a moment until Carlisle spoke up.

"Yes of course, Edward. We remember her. She is lovely, indeed," then he paused before continuing. "But she has been promised to Jacob Black, you know that."

"Yes, well. That's true, but her father is no longer living and so she is free to make her own choices and he is not what she wants."

"Are you sure of that, son? Isabella is a dutiful daughter and I would think she would want to honor her father's memory. She did leave, but I'm sure that after she has some time to grieve she'll come back and wed Jacob as her father had arranged. I don't want you getting your hopes pinned on her only to be disappointed."

"Actually, Dad. I am certain of that and let's just say that Jacob Black will no longer be an issue for her."

"I'm sorry, what are you getting at, son?"

"Mom and Dad, Bella and I were married in Sacramento… just yesterday," Edward said looking between his parents, cursing himself for the necessity of lying to them.

Esme gasped and tears of shock and hurt filled her eyes, "Edward!"

Carlisle's mouth dropped open as he gawked at his youngest son.

Silence filled the room as Edward looked back and forth between his parents, Esme looked between the two men, and Carlisle continued to stare at Edward.

"Son, what have you done?" Carlisle asked. "You can't just go and steal another man's betrothed!"

Edward was quiet, knowing Carlisle needed to say these things.

"Edward, this is just not how things are done. You could have had any other young girl. There are plenty of sweet and beautiful girls in Rough and Ready and you could have had your pick," he said rising from his chair, his voice growing louder as he spoke. "Instead you had to take a vulnerable girl, need I remind you that she just lost her father? Then you come back here to flaunt it in front of Jacob's face? He is a good man. He loves her and he would have taken exceptional care of her. Not to mention, he is whom her father wanted for her!"

Esme was crying softly and Edward felt terrible for hurting them. He had always been a model son since they'd taken him in and it grieved him to disappoint them so.

"And to make it worse, you rob your mother of having the joy of witnessing your wedding?"

"Carlisle, please," Esme beseeched him.

"No, Esme, he needs to hear this," Carlisle continued. "Edward, you know better than this. You are better than this."

They had always held him in too high esteem.

It grew very quiet save for the sniffling coming from Esme as she sat in her chair.

"Mom and Dad, please know that it was never my intention to hurt you. It grieves me more than I can say to know that I've disappointed you," he said, looking at his shoes. "I understand everything you are saying and in an ideal situation, I would agree with you completely… However, Bella and I are in love. I fell in love with her the first moment I laid eyes on her and to my great pleasure, she loves me too. She doesn't and never has loved Jacob. Charlie told her as he was dying that he wanted her to be happy above all else and I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams that she has married me and I have the chance to make her happy," he paused and ran a hand through his hair. "And believe me I would have loved to bring her back for a proper wedding but she didn't feel she could come back here without being forced to marry Jacob."

"And you think Jacob will take this news lying down?" Carlisle demanded.

Edward exhaled a heavy breath. "No, I fully expect that Jacob will make his feelings on the matter known to me at some point. But it makes no difference. She's worth it. And there's nothing he can do now because she's my wife. I didn't steal her from him; it's what she wanted too. She wouldn't have even come back if we hadn't have gotten married. She was completely determined that she wouldn't marry him."

Carlisle rubbed his temples and sighed. "Edward, I can't help but think of Charlie Swan and hope that he can't see this because it would break his heart."

"Dad, Charlie Swan loved his daughter and he wanted her to be happy. You were there when he died. You probably heard him with your own ears tell her to be happy!"

"No, son. Actually, he was too far gone by the time I got there."

Their voices were escalating as they spoke and Esme rose and placed her hand on Carlisle's arm.

"So, are you calling Bella a liar?"

Carlisle was angry but he knew he needed to calm things down before there was irreparable damage to his relationship with his son.

"No… no of course not," he said, sounding almost defeated.

Both men took a moment to calm down.

Esme was pulling on Carlisle's arm and he shook his head saying quietly "What's done is done."

Esme, ever the peace maker, came over to her son and took his hand. "Edward if you love her, we will love her too and this will all work out somehow."

Edward looked into his mother's eyes which conveyed the love that knew no depths.

"Thank you… Believe me, I know how ridiculous this all seems. But we did what was best for us. It's all we could do."

Carlisle sighed. "I hope you are right, son."

Edward nodded and sat for a beat longer. Then he rose to leave.

Esme jumped up and threw her arms around him, making Edward feel even worse for lying to them.

"Edward, please bring Bella over for dinner tomorrow at six."

"Sure, Mom. Thank you," he said kissing the top of her head.

Carlisle stood by and nodded at his son.

With that, Edward took his leave, the deception eating away at his heart. He knew that Esme had looked forward to the marriages of all her children and as much as he was thrilled that Bella was now safe and sound and tucked away in _his_ house, he couldn't help but wish that it was under different circumstances altogether. He wished that he had been able to court her like a normal suitor and that he had been able to obtain the blessing and respect of her father and give her the beautiful wedding that she deserved. He wished that he had been able to give his parents the wedding they'd always wanted for him.

Back at his house, things were quiet. He imagined that Bella was asleep as it was getting late and they had a long trip. Still shaken from his meeting with his parents, he was very tired, in more ways than one, and he knew she must be as well.

He went to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich since he hadn't eaten the food Esme had given him. Then walking back towards the stairs he noticed a light coming from the library. Very quietly, he approached the doorway and saw Bella, in her night dress, scanning the shelves. The look on her face made Edward smile, she was enraptured. He had known that she'd liked to read from their first official meeting in the general store when he had noticed her buying Shakespeare and had quoted Romeo and Juliet to her. Looking closer he saw that she was looking at a book of poetry by Lord Byron.

"She walks in beauty, like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes," he quoted softly.

Bella jumped a bit when she heard him speak. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

Edward stayed where he was, regarding her with a smile.

"Byron is amazing, isn't he?"

"Yes, he was very insightful," Edward agreed.

Bella placed the book back on the shelf and started towards Edward.

"Feel free to read any of these books. You are welcome to take them with you to your room if you'd like," he said as he approached her to take the Byron off the shelf once more.

"Oh, thank you. That's very generous of you," she said looking at the floor.

Stopping just in front of her, he put a finger under her chin till her eyes met his. "Bella, this is your home now. You don't have to ask permission to do anything and you don't need to feel indebted to me. Please, I really want you to be comfortable."

She was caught in his gaze for a moment before she hastily nodded and took the Byron from him.

They left the room and ascended the stairs together.

"Oh, by the way, my parents have invited us to dinner at their house tomorrow."

"Ok, umm… that should be…"

"Don't worry about it, Bella. They'll love you, alright?" he said, willing it to be true.

"Alright," she sighed. "Thank you, Edward, for everything."

"My pleasure sweet girl," and he kissed her on the top of her head and they said goodnight, going into their separate rooms.

Edward laid in his makeshift bed that night thinking about the dramatic turn his life had taken in the last couple days. He couldn't deny that Bella's presence in his life filled his heart and gave him hope that he could make something of himself and endeavor to deserve someone like her. The mere fact that she had chosen to place her trust in him gave him a sense of pride and worth that he hadn't felt in… Truth be told, he wasn't sure if he'd ever felt it.

The nagging thought surfaced telling him that she wouldn't think so highly of him if she knew. When she asked, he had given her a much abbreviated life story. Bella and her father may not have been wealthy, but they were honest and decent folk; you wouldn't find anything scandalous or dishonorable in their pasts.

In truth, Edward had looked forward to living out west, believing that it was his chance to make something of himself; something that people would respect. He had thought that perhaps he could be deemed worthy of admiration and maybe even the love of a girl like Bella.

Of course his family had never made him to feel anything less than whole. But Carlisle and Esme were gracious and redemptive. They saw the best in all their children. That had not and would not be the case of everyone that Edward met.

_What would Bella say if she knew?_

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning dawned early and when Edward got up there was no sign that Bella was awake so he went out to the yard to chop some wood. He needed to work out the kinks in his back from several nights of sleeping on the floor. After finishing that task, he went into the barn to work on the bed he'd begun.

Bella came out after a while and stood nervously watching him.

"Good morning, beautiful," Edward smiled at her.

She flushed delightfully and said "You said to make myself at home so I went ahead and made some breakfast. I have some ready for you if you'd like."

"That sounds great, Bella. I'll be right in."

She turned to leave and Edward smiled after her as she went. He could really get used to having her around.

When Edward came in the smell that hit him made his mouth water. The table had been set and a plate with biscuits and gravy as well as fried eggs was sitting waiting for him. Next to the plate was a steaming cup of coffee. Bella was in the kitchen cleaning.

"Aren't you going to eat, Bella?"

"Oh, I thought I'd just clean this up first," she said pointing to the dishes.

"Bella, that can wait. Why don't you get yourself a plate and join me?"

She paused, staring at the dishes. "Alright," she said, drying her hands and walking over to dish up some breakfast for herself then coming to sit down.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you for the room. It was very comfortable. And you?"

"Fine, fine," he said.

They were quiet for a few minutes, the only sound the scraping of utensils against plates.

"Edward, I don't mean to be a bother. But I need to get some clothes."

"Of course, we can go into town this afternoon and pick up some fabrics from the general store. While we're at it we can pick up some food items," he said while taking a drink of the coffee, wincing from the heat.

"No, that's not necessary. I have plenty of clothes… at my dad's house," she said looking down at her plate.

Edward watched her for a moment. "I have to finish up in the barn this morning, but I can take you over there this afternoon, if you'd like."

She nodded, still not meeting his gaze.

They finished their breakfast in silence and Edward stood and took the dishes to the kitchen.

"Thank you for breakfast, Bella. It was very good. I'm just going to go work a little more out in the barn," he said. "Will you be alright?"

She looked up at him, "Yes, of course, I'll be fine, Edward."

Edward worked the morning away; he was getting very close to finishing the bed. Just as he was starting to clean up for the morning a shadow darkened the barn door. Looking up he saw a very large framed man entering the doorway.

"Quil, it's good to see you," Edward said, straightening and shaking his hand.

"Yes, I hope you are doing well."

"I am, I am. Thank you. To what do I owe the privilege of your visit?"

Quil held his hat in his hand, "I've come to see if you had any other jobs I might be able to work for you."

"Oh, well…" Edward began but just then Bella walked into the barn.

Quil turned upon hearing her entrance and the two were locked in mirroring expressions of shock.

Quil recovered first, "Bella! My God, what are you doing here?" he said walking over to her and grasping her shoulders in his large hands. "Jacob is going to be beyond thrilled. You have no idea what he's been going through! He's been beside himself with worry looking for you! Where have you been?"

She continued staring, mouth agape, seemingly unable to speak.

It was then that Edward decided to speak up, "Quil, I know you are well acquainted with Bella, but let me have the pleasure of introducing her to you… as my wife."

Quil dropped his hands from Bella's shoulders and turned toward Edward, his expression having changed from joy and relief to disbelief and anger in a matter of seconds. "I'm sorry, what did you say? Because I could have sworn you just referred to my best friend's fiancé as your wife."

Edward held his ground and replied calmly, "That's right. You heard correctly. Bella and I are married." He looked over to Bella who had backed up slightly and stood trembling against the wall of the barn.

Quil glared at Edward and held his gaze, "Bella?" he asked through clenched teeth.

She was quiet for a moment trying to find her voice. "Edward is right, Quil. We have been married."

At her confirmation, Quil's face dropped and he turned to look at her. His gaze held for a moment and then he left the barn without another word.

She expelled a large breath and sagged against the barn wall, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. "He's going to tell Jacob. I know it," she whispered, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

Edward went to her and placed his hands on her arms, steadying her. "It's ok, Bella. We knew this was coming at some point. We'll just get it out of the way. We'll handle this together. Everything will be fine," he said lightly rubbing her arms.

Her shaking didn't stop as she said, "I just came out to tell you that I have lunch ready," and she broke away from his hands and walked back toward the house, her arms still wrapped around her hunched frame.

Edward sighed. He had known this would be an uphill battle, settling in back at home and dealing with all the fall out of their arrangement. But he didn't want Bella to have to deal with so much emotional turmoil so soon. She had been through enough. Not only were they confronted by Quil, which likely meant that a meeting with Jacob was imminent, but she would also be thrust into the Cullen family dinner, not to mention going back to her father's house for the first time, all in one day.

A heaviness settled over Edward's disposition.

But as soon as he set foot inside the house, he couldn't help but have his attitude lightened, at least for the moment. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If that was true, Bella was sure on her way to being firmly ensconced in his heart; that is if she hadn't have been already. Bella had made sandwiches for lunch. Ordinarily Edward wasn't a big fan of sandwiches but she had made freshly baked bread that made the house smell wonderful and some amazing chicken salad. Then for dessert she had made some fresh apple cake with walnuts topped with cream. This arrangement was looking better and better.

After they finished eating lunch, they cleaned the kitchen together.

"Edward, you don't need to do this. This is my job, remember?"

"Don't worry about it Bella. We're a team, alright?"

She said nothing so he asked, "Are you ready to go get your clothes?"

She sighed and nodded, finishing putting the dishes away and then left the kitchen to go upstairs.

Edward just shook his head at his inability to get Bella to interact with him and he went outside to hitch up the wagon to the horses. Then he pulled it around to the front of the house. Bella came outside a moment later and he jumped down to help her up into the seat.

The ride to Bella's old house was quiet. Edward wasn't sure what to say and Bella just stared off into the woods most of the way.

They arrived at the house in a short time and Edward pulled to a stop then helped her down from the wagon.

Thinking she might need some privacy he tried to meet her gaze but of course she averted her eyes so he said "I'll just wait out here for you and give you some time for yourself. Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

She nodded. "Thank you, Edward." Then she walked into the house and Edward went over to the horses and began petting their muzzles.

He could feel the distance between Bella and himself growing. He felt as though he had been reaching out to her, trying to show her that he cared, that he was there for her. But she was building a wall around herself, not letting him in.

He thought about how she had opened up to him on the trip and especially that night in Auburn when she had amazingly trusted him with the story of what happened to her in Sacramento. He didn't know what had changed.

He told himself that she just needed time. Why wouldn't she distrust him at first? After everything she'd been through, why would she blindly accept his overtures? Maybe he was pushing too hard. Maybe what he perceived to be his caring words and touches really were too much for her.

Maybe she was second guessing her decision. Perhaps now that she was no longer in imminent danger, and now that they were facing the realities of coming back home as a supposedly married couple, she was rethinking the wisdom of their arrangement.

Bella was inside for quite some time before she came back out, large bag in hand, eyes trained on the ground. She walked out to the wagon and he took her bag from her, placing it in the back. He noticed that her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks flushed, and she was sniffling just a bit.

He helped her into the seat and climbed in on the other side. Looking over at her, she refused to meet his gaze but he noticed she wasn't looking at the house either. Her eyes were firmly fixed on her shoes, refusing to be moved.

"Have you got what you need?" he asked thinking about the various meanings of his question.

She nodded but said nothing and still did not return his gaze.

So Edward lightly snapped the reins and they left the Swan residence.

On the ride back to his house Edward couldn't help but think about all the ways Bella was suffering. He thought about how even if she did open up to him as he would like he was completely inadequate to help her deal with and process all the things that had happened to her. All the people in her life had broken her trust, abused her, or left, albeit unintentionally. He knew he wasn't nearly the man she needed to help her. But he also knew he was all she had at the moment. And this thought terrified him because he hadn't the slightest clue as to how to do this.

At the moment she seemed to need her space. So Edward resolved to give it to her. He would do his best not to use any more terms of endearment or to touch her in any way when they were alone at the house.

Of course outside the house the charade was on and they would have to play the game.

But when it was just the two of them he would respect her apparent need for space, hoping that when she was ready she would open up to him.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Later that afternoon, Edward was back in the barn. He really wanted to be inside with Bella but he had decided to back off and he would do that. On the ride home she hadn't spoken a word to him nor did she even make any indication that she even knew he was there, except to take his hand when he helped her down from the wagon. They hadn't said anything to each other upon arriving back at the house either. Bella went inside and Edward took care of the horses and wagon then went back to work on the bed that was almost finished.

Emmett had come over and they were talking about the upcoming dinner at Carlisle and Esme's house.

"Well, Carlisle's pretty worked up but Esme is trying to calm him down. She's issued strict orders to everyone to behave," Emmett said, laughing a bit.

Edward just shook his head. _How in the world are we ever going to make this work?_

With all the resistance they were meeting, both externally and internally, Edward didn't see how this would last. He would just have to keep trying and hope for the best.

"That's good. I don't want anyone upsetting Bella. She's been through a lot, what with losing her father and all. I hope everyone can just accept her for the wonderful girl she is."

"Ahh, don't worry about it Edward. They'll all come around."

And just then Edward and Emmett heard the heavy footsteps outside the door. They looked up in time to see Jacob Black stalk into the barn, a murderous rage written all over his face. He didn't stop. He didn't ask questions. He was a man on a mission.

Edward knew this wouldn't be good. But he also knew he wasn't going to fight back. Because as much as he would love for it to be true that Bella be his wife and as much joy as he pathetically took in falsely calling her such, he couldn't help but feel guilt over seemingly having "stolen" Jacob's fiancé, the woman he loved.

Emmett looked ready to hold Jacob off but Edward's hand shot out to tell Emmett to let him do what he'd come for.

Jacob's boots pounded against the dirt as he rapidly closed the gap between himself and Edward.

So quickly that Edward almost didn't see it, Jacob's fist retracted and snapped back with brutal force. Edward saw stars as he fell back, his behind making contact with the floor first and then he was flat on his back, Jacob pounding him repeatedly and relentlessly.

Edward did not fight back, simply tried to shield his face. But it wasn't long before Emmett had pulled Jacob off of him, dragging him to his feet, and holding him back.

Jacob was red faced, sweat dripping down, as he struggled against Emmett's iron grip.

"I'll kill you. You scheming, manipulative bastard. I swear, I will end you," his voice cracking with emotion on his last threat, his eyes bloodshot and heartbroken.

Edward got to his feet and Emmett dragged Jacob outside leaving Edward rubbing his jaw and holding his handkerchief to his gushing nose.

**A/N: I'd love to hear what you think! Please drop me a line in the form of a review if you have the chance. I respond to every reviewer! Also, let me know how you heard about my story! Thanks for reading! Until next time...**


	14. Rift

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Special thanks go out to LJSummers for betaing this for me! Her expertise has been much utilized and much appreciated!**

**And thanks also to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me even with her busy RL schedule! I'm so grateful for her insights!**

Chapter 14: Rift

As she rode with Edward to her old house to get her clothes, Bella felt like she was going to crack. She literally felt as though her body might fracture in two like an old brittle clay pot damaged one too many times.

She was torn. Torn between loyalties to her dead father and the necessity to endear herself to her new "parents." Torn between her life as the dutiful and innocent girl she had been and the duty-bound and significantly more world-weary "wife."

She was alone. She had no family. She had no friends with whom she could entrust her hurt. How life had changed from the time that she was naïve and trusting. Now she knew the importance of taking captive every thought, every emotion.

Edward had been so thoughtful and kind; maybe too thoughtful and kind. And he was terribly charming. When he had quoted Byron to her she had wanted to fall into his arms and banish every fear she had about him. She thought about the time he had quoted Romeo and Juliet. He was much too charming to be true. Thoughts of his familiarity with Tanya assailed her mind. So she had put all her energy into building up her walls.

She was grateful he had stayed outside when they went for her clothes.

Walking in the door of the house where she had lived all her life was one of the oddest and emptiest feelings she'd ever had. Charlie's outdoor boots were still sitting by the door as though he were going to come home from the Sheriff's office at any moment and put them on to go outside and chop some wood or muck a stable.

The book he'd been reading was still on his favorite chair.

His coffee cup still in the sink.

His hat still on his bed.

Bella curled up on his bed and longed to have his arms wrapped around her. He had never been overly affectionate, but he knew when she needed to be held. And she knew that when he held her she was safe.

She would give anything to go back to the days when she could feel safe with him; back to the days when there was nothing so scary that she needed to feel that safety, but he was there all the same. She thought about the cruelty of her reality that only after her safety net was gone was she truly in danger and in such emotional turmoil.

She buried her head in the pillow that still smelled of him.

After several minutes she got up and absently went to her room, pulled her large carpet bag from under her bed and started placing clothes in it. As an afterthought she went to her father's room and took his favorite shirt, the one he used to wear around the house, and packed that too.

She thought about what she would do with the house now. She knew she could never live in it as there were too many memories. But she also couldn't see selling it.

When she was packed and there was nothing left keeping her there, no reason for her to stay, she finally broke down.

She stood at the front door for quite some time just looking at the house where she had grown up, where she had played with her mother as a young child and where she had sat on her father's lap while he read her stories. She allowed herself that moment to remember and then she dried her tears and left the house, closing the door.

When they arrived home Edward went outside to work and Bella began putting her things away in her room. Putting her clothes in the wardrobe was a strange experience. The only place she had ever lived was her dad's house. She wondered how long she'd live with Edward. Again she thought of the ridiculousness of the situation. Certainly they wouldn't live together for the rest of their lives. Yet how would they work it out when it was time to end their agreement?

She couldn't think about that now; it was too much to consider.

She was placing her hair brush and hair ribbons on the bureau when she heard Edward walk in the house downstairs. She wondered if it was time to go to his parents' house so she quietly descended the stairs.

What she saw when she got to the bottom made her gasp and stop in her tracks. Edward was there, looking for all the world like he'd been run over by a horse.

"What happened to you?"

His hair was a jumble, he had dirt and hay all over his clothes, but that wasn't the most alarming. Worst of all was that his hands and his face were covered in blood. He held a saturated handkerchief to his nose and it dripped down his arm to his sleeve. She couldn't tell what damage lay underneath all the mess.

"It's nothing Bella, don't worry about it."

"Nothing!" she shrieked. "Did you get kicked by the horse?... a lot?"

He shook his head and let out a mirthless laugh.

She gasped her hand flying to her mouth. "Jacob," she whispered. "It was Jacob."

"I imagine he'll cool off now that he's properly expressed his feelings about me. You don't need to worry, Emmett saw him off," he said turning and heading for the wash room.

She followed behind him and arriving at the basin said, "Edward, please… let me."

He eyed her warily but allowed her to proceed. She wet a cloth and gently took his hand that held the handkerchief to his nose and pulled it from his face.

Her brows knit together in concern as she reached up to dab at his wounds. His nose was no longer gushing but the skin was raw. She successfully cleaned the excess blood from his face and managed not to reopen any of his wounds. Taking some salve from the cabinet she gently applied it to his cuts. In addition to the cuts, she could see that his right eye would be bruised as well as his mouth and cheeks.

"I'm so, so sorry, Edward," she said her eyes welling with tears as she continued applying the salve.

He stayed her hand and said, "Bella, this is not your fault. I deserve what he gave me. I stole his love."

The situation was getting a bit too intimate for her comfort. Stepping back she wiped her hands on the cloth and said, "Well, I'm sorry all the same," then quickly changed the subject. "When do we leave for your parents' house?"

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I just need to clean up a little more and then we can be on our way."

She nodded and turned to go back to the kitchen to bundle up the extra loaf of bread she had made to take to Carlisle and Esme's house for dinner. Then she went up to her room to make sure her hair was in place.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Carlisle answered the door with a smile on his face when they arrived. Edward placed his hand on the small of Bella's back and guided her into the house.

No one said anything about Edward's appearance, although Esme did gasp a little. Emmett must have told them about Jacob.

Edward stood close to her as he introduced her to his family. She had already met most of them, but under much different circumstances. She smiled and tried not to appear too awkward as she shook hands with each person. Rosalie did not offer her hand to shake but when Edward introduced her to Esme, Bella was surprised by the tender hug she received from her supposed mother-in-law.

"Welcome to the family, dear," Esme said, unintentionally heaping coals over Bella's head.

"Thank you, I brought a loaf of bread for dinner, if you'd like," she said handing it over to Esme.

"Oh that was so kind of you. Come, let's go into the dining room and we'll just put it on the table."

They all went in to sit around the large table, Carlisle sitting at the head and Esme at the foot.

"Please sit here, dear," Esme said directing Bella to the chair just next to her. Edward sat on her other side, next to Carlisle. Across from Bella was Emmett, a relaxed expression on his face, and next to him was Rosalie, who was almost scowling.

"Thank you," Bella said quietly.

"Let's say grace," Carlisle said, bowing his head. "Heavenly Father, we thank you for all the blessings you give to us. Thank you for bringing Bella into our family; may she feel loved and welcome. Thank you for the food of which we are about to partake. May we be a blessing to others as you have richly blessed us. Amen."

A chorus of voices echoed Carlisle's amen.

"We're so happy you've joined the family, Bella dear." Esme smiled sweetly.

Bella returned her smile and looked down at the table.

"Yeah, we never thought Edward here was going to find anyone that would have him!" Emmett laughed.

"Emmett," Edward groaned.

Bella smiled at him and decided it was time to play her role. "Edward is a wonderful husband. Who wouldn't want him? I'm very blessed to have him."

Edward looked at her then with a smile. "No, Mrs. Cullen, I am the blessed one," he said taking her hand and squeezing it a bit.

"You've got that right, brother!" Emmett interjected.

Dinner was relatively relaxed and Bella was surprised that everyone was friendly even though she had showed up married to their son and brother with no notice. The only exception was Rosalie who sat quietly eating, never making eye contact with her. Bella was a bit unnerved by her but from what she had observed before that seemed to be Rosalie's typical behavior. She decided to try and talk to her since she was essentially her new sister.

"Rosalie, you must be getting excited about the baby. When are you expecting the baby to come?"

Emmett beamed proudly and stretched his arm behind his wife's chair.

"We had thought originally that it wouldn't be till February or so, but things are progressing very quickly and Carlisle seems to think our original estimate was off and it could be as soon as a month away," she said, her cool blue eyes boring through Bella.

"Yes, we are getting excited for little Emmett Jr.," Emmett added.

Rosalie sighed and went back to eating her chicken.

Bella nodded and dropped her gaze back to her plate not being able to come up with another topic of conversation.

Esme and Emmett's friendly banter eased her anxiety and Edward frequently reached over to squeeze her hand or give her small smiles, his eyes tender and, for all appearances, doting. She returned his smiles, so as to appear the part; ever the adoring wife.

Once they'd finished the meal Bella offered to help Esme remove the dishes from the table and bring in the dessert.

In the kitchen, Bella served up apple pie and topped the slices with fresh cream.

"This looks amazing, Esme."

"Oh thank you dear, it was nothing. I do love baking for my family."

"Oh I love it too. I used to always bake for my dad when…" she trailed off.

Esme was quiet for a moment, then came over to her and smiled sadly at her, the warmth in her eyes palpable. "What was his favorite thing you made for him?"

Bella blinked back the tears and said "He loved my peach pie especially but he also loved apple."

"He was lucky to have such a loving daughter," she said placing a gentle hand on Bella's arm.

Bella took a shaky breath and said "I was lucky to have such a loving father," then looking up at Esme's eyes she smiled and whispered, "Thank you."

"Not at all, dear."

Taking the slices of pie out to the dining room Bella stopped in her tracks when she heard Rosalie's biting invective.

"I can't believe this, Edward. Why did you have to steal someone else's fiancé."

"Rosalie," Carlisle reprimanded her.

"Well, what do you think everyone will say, Edward? This affects all of us."

"That's enough, Rosalie. There's nothing to be done now."

Just then the room went quiet as they saw that Esme and Bella were standing in the doorway having heard their conversation.

Bella's eyes were on the floor, her cheeks aflame.

Edward jumped up from his place and went to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She fought the urge to shrug him off and run from the house. But she'd done enough running.

Edward took the dishes of pie from her hands and put them on the table then examining her face, he said "Bella…"

Strengthening her resolve, she said "This pie Esme made looks terrific. I'm sure you'll all love it." She stiffened her spine and raised her chin to look each person in the eye.

Sheepish expressions surrounded the table with one notable irritated exception.

Bella returned to her chair, followed by Esme and Edward.

After a few moments of tension filled silence, Esme cleared her throat a bit. "Bella, what do you like to do in your spare time?"

"My favorite thing to do is to read. I also like walking outside in the woods, it's just so peaceful. And like I said, I also love to bake."

"Alright, Eddie boy!" Emmett piped up boisterously. "I always told you that you needed a woman to cook for you!"

Edward smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Yes, as I said I am beyond blessed to have her."

"Did Edward ever tell you that he plays the piano?" Esme said.

"No, he didn't," Bella said looking at him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, I enjoy it. Our piano is being shipped and will arrive sometime in the spring."

She smiled a little. "I'll look forward to hearing you play."

"So, will you be attending the church service tomorrow?" Esme asked.

Edward and Bella looked at each other and Bella gave a little nod.

_We may as well get all the awkward situations over with._

"Yes, I think we will be there," Edward affirmed.

Dinner was finished, goodbyes were said, and Edward and Bella left to go back to their home.

"Bella, I am so sorry about Rosalie. You don't need to worry about her. She's just…"

"No, Edward I am sorry. I'm sorry to be causing a rift in your family."

"Bella, this is not your fault. Please don't even think that."

She sighed, again thinking of the absurd nature of their arrangement and all the consequences of their deceit.

When they returned home they said goodnight and went to their separate rooms.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning Bella and Edward arrived at the Sunday meeting together in his wagon. Bella's palms were sweating and she was so nervous she was sure she would trip on the way in. But Edward's arms were strong and sure, steadying her as they walked past the gawkers and the gossips.

They went straight into the church and sat down in a pew. Bella peeked around a bit and noticed Jessica Stanley openly staring at her and whispering with Lauren Mallory. Her cheeks flamed and Edward held her hand reassuringly but he did not look at her. Her eyes fell back to her lap where they stayed until Pastor Webber took the pulpit and began the service. During the first hymn Bella looked up again and was startled to see Jacob glowering at her with a hollow look. He had dark circles under his eyes, sunken skin on his face, and he slumped in the pew. His eyes stayed fixed on her unabashedly. She looked away under the force of his stare and suddenly felt as though she couldn't breathe.

She couldn't focus on the sermon. The only thing she could feel was the eyes boring into the back of her head. It was all she could do to keep her chin up.

Finally they sang the final hymn and Pastor Webber gave the benediction. Bella chanced a glance back to see Jacob's retreating figure, the first to leave. The church doors had slammed open on his exit before most people had even left their seats.

She let out a shaky breath she felt like she'd held through the whole service. Turning to leave the aisle behind Edward she saw Angela Webber approaching her with a kind smile on her face.

"Hi Bella. It's so good to have you back. I really missed you."

"Umm, thank you. I'm happy to be back."

"So, I was wondering if you wanted to get together and work on a quilt for the Christmas bazaar with me in the next couple of weeks. It's been much too long since we did anything together."

Edward stood closer, putting his hand on the small of her back.

"Oh… Sure, that would be very nice."

Angela looked from Bella to Edward and back to Bella again.

Clearing her throat, Bella said "I'm sorry, Angela, you've met my husband, Edward, right?"

Angela smiled sweetly and responded, "I don't think we've been formally introduced but yes I've met your parents, Edward. It's very nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Angela," Edward said smiling.

"Bella, would next Friday morning, the day after Thanksgiving, work? This week is quite busy for me."

"I think so," she said, looking tentatively at Edward. When he nodded she said, "Yes, that should be fine, Angela. I will look forward to it."

"Wonderful!" Angela exclaimed. "Well, I should let you go, my mother is waiting. Have a nice week!"

"You too," Bella smiled.

"Well that wasn't _too_ bad, was it now?" Edward breathed in her ear.

Her smile was weak but she shook her head.

As they took their leave from the church Billy Black was standing near the door.

"Bella, may I speak with you?"

The anxiety was now back in full force, her chest constricting and her tongue frozen.

Edward's arm gripped her waist as she hesitated.

"We were just leaving, I'm afraid," Edward answered.

"I'll just be a minute with her," Billy informed rather than asked and Edward's grip tightened.

"Of course, it's fine. Edward, I'll be right back," and she stepped out of his grasp and walked with Billy a little bit away from the rest of the crowd, her hands fidgeting in nervousness.

"Bella I don't know why you've done what you've done and I know it's not my concern but as your dad's friend, I feel it's my duty to make sure you're okay," Billy got straight to the point, a look of deep concern in his creased dark eyes.

Bella took a shaky breath and put on her best smile, "Yes, Billy I'm fine. I know this is all a shock and I never meant to hurt Jacob but please believe me when I say I've done what is best for everyone concerned."

Billy didn't look convinced but said, "Okay, kid. There's nothing that can be done now. I just hope that you will be happy." Sadness was evident in his features.

"Yes, I will be happy. And please know that I love you and Jacob dearly. You will always be special to me."

Billy was quiet for a minute, seemingly contemplating something. "Bella, would you be willing to do something for me?"

"Of course, anything. What can I do?"

He sighed. "It's Jacob. He's, uhh… taken this news rather hard. He just doesn't understand. I know your responsibility is to your… husband now," he said, growling out the word husband. "But do you think you might be willing to come over and talk with him? Bella, he's not eating, he's not sleeping. I think he needs to hear it from you. I don't think he believes that you truly chose this."

Bella was wide-eyed, and fear gripped her at the thought of having to face Jacob. She knew he wasn't a threat to her but she was terrified of hurting him further. But she also knew that Jacob wouldn't ever be able to truly move on until she gave him some sort of finality, some reassurance that this was what she wanted.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

When Bella asked Edward if he'd be willing to take her to the Blacks' house, his response had been a resounding "Absolutely not!"

He didn't want her anywhere near Jacob. He said that Jacob was dangerous, but she knew he would never hurt her.

Bella couldn't believe that he would presume to tell her what to do - he wasn't really her husband. So her mind set to finding a way without his help.

When Emmett came over to speak with Edward the next day, she knew she had found her chance.

The men were out in the barn working while Bella was washing some clothes in a tub in the yard. After a while Emmett came out, tipping his hat at Bella. She quickly dried her hands and arms on a towel and ran over to him.

"Hey there Bella, how are you this afternoon?"

"I'm doing well, Emmett. Thank you for asking. How are you and Rosalie?"

"Oh we are doing just fine. What can I help you with?"

"Well, I was wondering if you might be able to take me over to the Blacks' house?"

Emmett's brows lowered and he regarded her suspiciously. "Why would you want to go over there?"

"Well, Billy asked me to come speak with Jacob. He's, uhh, not taking the news of Edward and my marriage very well. I just need to let him know that this is what I wanted and that he should move on," she said a bit sheepishly.

Emmett was quiet, still studying her carefully. "Alright, sister. I suppose your other option is unwilling?"

She said nothing, just looked at the ground.

"Well, I can understand your situation. I reckon I can help you out as long as we aren't making a habit out of undermining your husband."

She nodded and breathed, "Thank you so much."

"Come on, let's go."

THB ~ THB ~ THB

When she walked into the house, Bella left Emmett to stand in the entryway while she passed the set of stairs leading up to the second level. She walked into the parlor where she could see that Jacob was sitting in a chair staring at the fire. Bella approached him quietly.

Jacob took in a great quavering breath and though he didn't look at her, he knew she was there. "Why, Bells?" he all but whispered.

"Jacob," she breathed, her heart heavy-laden at the obvious emotion in his voice.

"You've got to tell me why because this just doesn't make any sense."

She was quiet for a moment. "It's what I want, Jacob."

"Damn it, Bella!" he bolted out of his chair to face her, nearly knocking the chair over. "I don't believe that! We had plans, we had dreams. My whole life, you were all I ever wanted. You seemed to want that too. We're exactly right for each other!"

She blinked back the tears that welled up in her eyes and took a deep breath. She had never spoken up for herself with him. She had always stayed silent when he dreamed of the future and he had always assumed she shared in his vision. "No Jacob. _You_ had plans. _You_ had dreams. You never once asked what mine were," she said quietly.

"What do you mean, Bells?" His eyes were brimming over. "I love you, you love me. It's just… right."

She couldn't stand to see him in pain but there was no way out of it now. "I'm sorry Jacob. I'm so, so sorry. I do love you, but not as you deserve, not as a wife should love her husband."

He looked stricken, as though she had just stabbed him through the heart. And in a way, she supposed she had.

"Bella," he whispered, placing his hand on her cheek. She heard Emmett take a step closer in the entryway. "Please tell me this is a nightmare because I'm reeling here and I don't see what possibly went wrong that I lost you."

She shook her head, taking a step back. "I'm so desperately sorry, Jacob." And she turned to leave. Emmett opened the door and followed her out to take her home.

**A/N: So... Let me know what you think! Thank you so much to everyone who has favorited this or put me on story alert and author alert! Thank you also to everyone who reviews! You totally make my day!**


	15. Failure

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Special thanks go out to LJSummers for being my beta extraordinaire. I appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations!**

**And thanks also to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me! I'm so grateful for her thoughts and input!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains some minor violence as well as it refers to the one time abuse of a child, though it is not described or depicted. If this bothers you, you can skip the part in italics and the first paragraph after the italics and pm me and I'll tell you the gist. :)**

**Chapter 15: Failure**

Edward thought about how nice it had been to be allowed to support Bella at church. In public he could hold her hand and reassure her and allay her fears. He knew Jacob was watching them and he could feel the anxiety rolling off of Bella in waves. Looking over at her he was again struck by her beauty. His eyes trailed up her graceful neck to her face, framed by the hair that he longed to run his fingers through. But what really captured his attention were her full pink lips. He thought about how they would taste. But just then the pastor hit a passionate stride in his delivery and for all outward appearances, Edward snapped his attention back to the sermon, but his mind wouldn't release the image of kissing those lips.

Feeling her tremble a little, concern again filled him for her emotional wellbeing and he gently squeezed her hand to help her relax. But nothing seemed to help till after Jacob was gone and Angela had come over to talk with Bella. God bless Angela Webber for being such a kind heart. He knew that Bella needed a welcoming face that morning.

It had made him more than uncomfortable to see her speak with Billy Black. He was nervous that their arrangement would become known even though he knew Bella wouldn't implicate herself in that way. If he was really being honest he didn't want Bella anywhere near Jacob, and Billy was just a little too close for comfort.

Yes, he had enjoyed her reliance on him in public, even if it was a show. In private, however, she was still locked up tight, not allowing him in.

The ride home from church was painfully quiet, just as most of their interactions had been. She said no more than necessary and kept a physical distance, with arms tight to her sides, countenance cast down.

He was still trying to give her the space she needed but it was wearing on him. There were so many times that he longed to look her in the eyes, to take her hands, and ask – no beg – her to talk to him about anything real. But he was terrified to push her further away and so he waited, hoping she would come to him.

As she readied lunch after they arrived home he sat down in the library and began reading Dickens' Oliver Twist. He was only a few pages in when she told him that lunch was ready and he went to join her at the table.

She had put together the leftovers of the chicken salad on the fresh bread she had made and it was just as good if not better than when they'd had it before.

She was barely eating, taking small bites interspersed between small sips of her water. Her nervousness would have been adorable had he not wanted her to relax and talk with him about something real.

"Bella, this is so amazing. You have no idea what a service you're doing for me. I'd be eating something cold and hard and definitely tasteless if you weren't here." He gave her a smile to try and ease her worries. He had to break through those walls of hers.

She blushed but still would not meet his eye. "Thank you."

Then she began to fidget with her apron and spoke in a very small voice, "Edward," then she took a large breath. "Would you be willing to take me over to the Blacks' house? It's only because Billy thinks Jacob needs me to assure him that this is really what I wanted. He says Jacob isn't doing well and I just want him to be able to move on. I want him to know that this was my choice. I mean, this really did take him completely by surprise and he probably thinks you manipulated me or something."

She paused and looked nervously over at Edward.

He set his glass down and exhaled slowly through pursed lips. "Bella, I'm sorry but absolutely not. There is no way I'm delivering you to Jacob Black."

Her face was stricken. "Edward, it's not as though you'd be handing me over. You'd be right there with me. I just – "

"Bella, no. I'm sorry, but he is dangerous. Did you not see what he did yesterday? Or have you forgotten about the Harvest Dance? He's rash and emotional. What do you think he will do when you tell him that you didn't want him?"

Her voice rose in volume. "Edward, he wouldn't hurt me. It was a misunderstanding at the Dance and he would never touch me now that I'm _supposedly_ a married woman!"

Every line of his face pleaded with her to understand. "I'm sorry, Bella, but no."

Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open and her face had turned red. He knew she was angry, and he wanted to kick himself for driving the wedge further between them but there was no chance he would deliberately put her in the path of Jacob Black.

She looked back to her plate and the rest of the meal continued in silence. Edward was tired of the lack of eye contact, the stone figure that sat next to him at the table. But he would not bend on the issue of her safety.

When they had finished eating, Bella took the plates into the kitchen and began cleaning. Edward sat for a moment then, shaking his head, got up to see if he could help her.

The sunlight streamed through the window and illuminated her chestnut hair, several wisps falling into her face as she labored over the basin. She was already elbows deep in sudsy water washing the dishes.

"Here, let me, Bella," he said softly, attempting to take the dish from her hands but she yanked it away and continued on her task, her chest heaving under the emotion and excess strain, scrubbing every last spot thoroughly till he was sure that dish had never been cleaner.

He sighed heavily and returned to the refuge of the library and his book, running his hands through his hair. He knew she would need to cool off before he would be able to speak to her about it again.

As soon as she finished cleaning the kitchen she disappeared up the stairs and into her room and Edward did not see her again all day. She did not even come out for dinner. Agitation ate away at the pit of Edward's stomach as the night wore on and he became increasingly frustrated with their apparent impasse, not only in this most recent development but in his inability to help her cope with all she was struggling with. And even if he had the capability to alleviate her pain, she wasn't giving him the slightest bit of a chance. And now she was angry with him for protecting her against the very man she ran from.

This certainly wasn't how he pictured wooing her. When he'd first thought of this arrangement he thought of all the ways he could provide for her, of all the ways he could draw her out, of all the things he'd like to give her, of all the ways he'd like to wonder in her mind and in her company. He hadn't thought that she would shut herself down to him, that he would infuriate her so thoroughly within mere days of her moving into his home.

_I'll just have to work harder. _

At breakfast the next morning Bella was nowhere to be seen. His meal was sitting on the table, the condition of his food in sharp distinction to the tenor of their relationship. The hotcakes, sausage, and fried potatoes were amazingly delicious. Once finished he cleared his dishes and went to work outside.

The morning dragged on and Edward thought of all the ways he could make her talk to him. He could sit her down and demand that she tell him what was on her mind. He laughed humorlessly imagining how that would turn out. He could ask her lovingly, tell her he cared about her and that he didn't want to see her hurting. But he didn't see how that would work with her still being angry over the Jacob issue. And that was not something he was willing to bend on.

Lunch was much the same as breakfast. No sign of Bella, just his food sitting on the table. He was growing increasingly angry over her childish avoidance measures and part of him wanted to demand that she join him for lunch and discuss this absurd disagreement. But the extent of her evasion and the force of her reaction made him feel as though she was siding with Jacob against him, which only caused him to bolster his position. He didn't want to make any concessions; instead he finished his lunch and cleared his dishes.

He went out to the barn and was cleaning out some stables when he noticed that Bella was washing clothes in the tub outside. Setting his shovel down and wiping his brow, he watched as she bent over her task, her arms plunging in and out of the water as she scrubbed one of his shirts over the washboard. When she stood up straight and held the shirt aloft to look at her progress all he could focus on was the alluring curve of her waist and hips. He couldn't believe how she could simultaneously be so desirable and yet so infuriating. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, his glower filled with need.

Just then, Emmett stepped directly into his line of vision. Edward had been so preoccupied watching Bella that he hadn't even seen his brother approach. He shook his head and took a deep breath, picking up his shovel again.

"What's with you?" his brother asked directly.

"Nothing," Edward growled.

"I'll bet. Sure looks like nothing." Emmett chuckled. "Don't worry, it's new. It's a difficult adjustment."

Edward glared at Emmett and kept on with his task.

Emmett had just come over to chat and get a break from Rosalie's delicate sensibilities. His brother was so involved in his casual conversation that Edward did not need to reciprocate except with the occasional grunt. After a while Emmett took his leave, laughing at Edward's agitation.

Edward continued working for a while and then decided he'd had enough. _This is ridiculous. I'm an adult. She's an adult. We _will_ work this out._

He brushed his hands off and left the barn but Bella was no longer cleaning clothes. His brow wrinkled and he walked across the yard to go into the house to find her.

She wasn't in the kitchen where he expected that she would be. He walked around the downstairs. She wasn't in the parlor nor was she in the library.

_She must have secluded herself in her room again._

Edward had had enough of the avoidance tactics. He took the stairs two at a time and approached her room. The door was open, which surprised him, but she was not inside.

Edward frowned, he leaned one hand on the doorframe and rested the other on his hip, puzzled. He glanced around the rooms on the second floor to see if she was dusting or changing bedclothes or some other task.

When he realized she wasn't in the house, a bolt of panic shot through him and his throat went dry as he thought about the possibility that she had left him. _No, she wouldn't. Would she? _

But he knew that she might. Nothing was legally keeping her with him. Nor was there any true attachment between them to tie her down. He had to consider the possibility. After all, she had run before.

A cold sweat broke out on the back of his neck as he went to her wardrobe and opened it. He breathed a small sigh of relief to see that all her clothes were still there. He was confused to see a man's shirt neatly folded on a shelf towards the bottom of the wardrobe. On closer inspection he realized it appeared to be a shirt he'd seen her father wear and his heart clenched in his chest a bit. Then feeling ashamed for invading her privacy he stood up straight and closed the wardrobe. His breathing was accelerating in anxiety. Turning around he saw that her other personal belongings were still on her dressing table.

If she had left, she hadn't taken much of anything with her. But apparently she hadn't taken much the first time around either.

He focused on not jumping to conclusions as he descended the stairs and out the front door to circle the house.

"Bella!" he called. "Bella?"

Nothing.

His earlier irritation with her had all but melted in the face of the terror he now felt over the possibility that she had left.

He checked the barn one more time before taking his horse out and heading over to his parents' house to see if there was any chance that she had gone over there for some unknown reason. He knew it was an incredible long shot as she was far from comfortable with them, but he had to hope that she was there.

Walking in the house, he found Rosalie helping Esme with some baking. Carlisle was making medical calls.

"Hi, Edward," Esme said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Mom. How are you doing today?" he didn't want to come out and ask immediately, Esme and Rosalie would think it odd that he didn't know where his wife was. "Are you the only ones here?"

"Yes, we are. Who else would be here?" Esme asked with a smile. "It's so nice to see you, you should have brought Bella."

Edward was sweating and working hard to hide his dread. "Oh, I thought maybe Emmett was around," he croaked.

"No, he's off doing Lord knows what. Actually, I thought he was with you," Rosalie said.

"Oh, yes he was. I forgot to ask him something. I'll just run over to your place."

"No, I was just there, he's not there. He mentioned needing to go to the post office. I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"Right, okay. I'll just be on my way then."

"Okay, dear. It was good to see you." Esme smiled.

Edward's heart was pounding as he ran through all the options. It hadn't been long since he'd seen her outside, perhaps a little over an hour. He would not sit powerless and wait like the last time she left. He would go look for her. She couldn't be too far.

He strode quickly out of the house and passed through his property on the way to the road when he saw Emmett approaching, Bella sitting on the seat right next to him.

It was as though he could breathe again, his lungs finally accepting the much needed oxygen he'd been unable to take in. The immediate sense of relief that he felt was soon colored with a tinge of foreboding.

Had Emmett found her on the road? How would he explain her flight to Emmett?

Dismounting his horse and tying him to the hitching post, Edward looked up. As they came closer he could see by Bella's posture that she appeared to be crying.

Preparing himself for the inevitable questions that Emmett would soon be launching his way, he wondered what Bella had already told him, if anything.

He also half expected that Emmett would give him a verbal lashing for not being sensitive enough or not taking care of the needs of his new bride.

But when Emmett pulled the wagon to a stop and Bella got down on her own and went directly into the house, Emmett actually looked a little ashamed.

Edward was puzzled.

His brother wouldn't meet his eye and he was fidgeting with the reins. "Well, I'm sorry, Edward."

"What happened?" He decided that he didn't need to volunteer any information until he knew what Emmett knew.

Emmett scratched the back of his head. "I took her over to the Blacks' house."

"What?" Edward nearly shouted. "What did you do that for? Is she okay? Did he hurt her?" he said angrily as he strode towards the house, Emmett trailing behind him.

"She's fine, Edward. She's just emotional. I was there, she was in no danger. And she was right; Jacob deserved to hear it from her. You have to realize this was all very fast and he did deserve some explanation, at least to hear that it was her choice. You know he never would have left you alone until he knew for certain."

Edward turned just as he reached the door, his face red with restrained fury. "Emmett, just go." Then he went inside and shut the door, leaving Emmett shaking his head and sighing.

Naturally, Bella was nowhere in sight. Edward knew she would be in her room, evading him yet again and he wasn't going to allow it. This had to stop if they were going to make this work. It was alright for her to be angry with him, but they needed to be able to work through their problems and they couldn't do that if she continued to shut him out.

He climbed the stairs, trying to calm his swirling emotions. He was agitated and angry that she had gone around him to his brother in addition to her childish avoidance for the past couple days. He was hurt that she didn't trust him. He was really trying to help her see that he could be trusted. He had been nothing but appropriate with her, he'd given her the space she obviously needed, and now she was going around him to his family. If he were really being honest he was embarrassed that Emmett knew of their disagreement and worried that he would think him incompetent as a husband.

As he approached her room he could hear the sniffling coming from the other side of the door. He sighed and knocked. The sniffling stopped but there was no response. He waited a moment before knocking again.

"Bella."

Nothing.

"Bella, please open the door," he said, a hint of the agitation he was feeling showing in his voice.

Nothing.

"Bella," he said a bit louder. "Bella, please, open the door!"

He heard some shuffling and then again nothing.

"I'm not going to leave until you open this door."

Just then the door opened and Bella stood there with her arms crossed, her face puffy, and her eyes and nose red.

"What do you want?"

Edward was sure his face registered his shock at the ridiculous question. "What do I want? Bella, you've been avoiding me since yesterday. You won't talk to me about anything going on and to top it off, you went behind my back and had Emmett take you to Jacob Black's house after I told you I didn't want you anywhere near him." His frustration was boiling underneath the surface.

"I owed Jacob an explanation," she said, her eyes hard, arms still crossed in a defiant stance.

"You didn't owe Jacob a thing. It was reckless, Bella. And look at you, he may not have hurt you physically but you're clearly upset. I was trying to protect you from him." His tone was aggressive and his eyes blazed.

"I don't need your protection!" she spat out.

It was like a slap to the face, but he pushed her further. "Bella I'm only trying to help you, not just with Jacob, but with everything you've been through. But you keep shutting me out. I see that you're hurting but you're like granite with me, hard and cold. I know you feel something! You're hurting inside!"

She was seething, he could see it. Angry and scared tears welled over in her eyes as she leveled him with a hard stare and began to shout. "What do you want me to say?" She was breathing heavily. "That I miss my dad so much it feels like I'll never be whole again?" A small sob escaped her twisted lips. "Or how about that I can still feel James' hands on me? That I can still feel his lips on me? Or his vile breath whispering in my ear?"

It was agonizing. "Bella," he whispered, reaching out to her but she jerked back.

"Or worse, that I don't know if I can trust _you_! I don't know if you're just trying to conquer me just like James. Or you just want me to be your vision of who you think I should be for _you_, just like Jacob!"

He was sure his face registered the hurt he felt at the accusation she leveled at him.

"Despite all appearances to the contrary, I'm not yours, Edward! You're not really my husband! And there's nothing I'm required to tell you."

His hands balled up into fists of rage. He knew she was broken, but he couldn't help the indignation he felt at the ridiculous indictment. Conquering her or making her into the person he wanted was the furthest thing from his mind. His motivation had only ever been to help her, to protect her… _to love her_. He felt the flames rise to his face and yet she stood with the same fire in her eyes determined not to look away, not to back down.

He had to get out so he turned abruptly on his heel and left. He went outside, past the yard, back behind the barn where he had some bales of hay stacked.

Pacing back and forth, tugging at his hair, the rage and frustration and sorrow had built to a fever pitch crying for a release. So he let go, pummeling the bales of hay with all the built up emotions he had - over and over and over.

His knuckles began to bleed and yet he kept on. Raging and grunting, he didn't even realize when the anger had turned to despair. Collapsing onto the ground, his back against the hay, he pulled his knees up and stared hollowly off into the woods thinking about the failure he had always been.

Even though he knew her accusations to be false, he couldn't help the way it made him feel to know that was how she perceived him. Each fiery arrow found the chinks in his armor and went straight to his heart, confirming every inadequacy he'd ever felt: that he was incapable, unrespectable, and ultimately unlovable.

When the sun began to set, he clambered up from the ground and went into the dark and silent house and fell into bed.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

_He grimaced as she scrubbed his face with a rough wet cloth. "Ow, stop," he whined._

"_Honey, you need to look your best. We're going somewhere very important and I need you on your best behavior. Are we understood, young man?"_

_She had his chin firmly grasped in her left hand, while the right relentlessly rubbed at his dirty cheeks._

_Finishing with his face, his skin nearly raw from the effort, she tackled his unruly disarray of hair. Tugging and straightening the impossible mess, she got it to some semblance of order._

_Then she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "You are so handsome," she said ruffling the just untangled bronze locks. _

_She'd made him dress in his best clothes. Granted they were a little worn, with a small hole in one knee of his trousers and a bit of a stain on the elbow of his boiled white shirt._

_She had worn a very pretty dress and done her hair especially for this visit. She was the most beautiful woman Edward had ever seen and he loved her._

_When they arrived at the house, Edward couldn't believe how big it was. There were fountains and gardens and staircases. An unhappy looking man opened the door and let them in. His Mama then kissed him on the head without really looking at him and went up a stairwell leaving him with the unhappy man. The man sighed and told Edward to follow him. They walked down a long hallway with pictures and statues. Edward was afraid to touch anything lest he get it dirty or break it. _

_The man led him into a room and told him he should stay there, and then left. On one wall there were bookcases as tall as the very high ceiling, a large black piano sat on the other side of the room. _

_Edward shifted his weight back and forth from one foot to the other, humming his favorite song, the one his Mama always sang to him. He didn't know the name, but he loved the way her pretty voice sung it to him as he fell asleep each night. _

_He kicked his toe at the shiny floor and turned, taking in the huge room. In addition to the books and piano there were more pictures on the walls and he had to look away quickly because there was a statue of a lady with no clothes on. His cheeks flamed in embarrassment and shame; he knew he'd get in trouble if he looked at that. _

_Fixing his eyes on the piano, he felt the pull of the big black instrument. He didn't know if he could touch it but he sorely wanted to. He would love to be able to make nice music and make his Mama proud of him. He walked over to it slowly, turning his head to look over his shoulder and see if anyone would catch him touching it. But no one was there so he ran his fingers along the shiny wood. He didn't dare play the keys. _

_Soon he began to look at the books. He couldn't read but he imagined they told amazing stories of cowboys and Indians, of pirate ships and buried treasures just like the stories Mama told him._

_After quite some time he started to miss his Mama and he decided he would go looking for her. He wandered back down the long hallway until he got back to the big room where they had first come into and then started up the staircase that he had seen Mama climb._

_His hand trailed gently along the fancy railing as he reached the top. There was only one direction to go so he followed another long hallway. This one had pretty pictures and statues just like the other he had been in. From far off down the hall he could hear his Mama laughing and he smiled. She had the most beautiful laugh but he hadn't heard it in a long time. It was nice to hear her happy._

_Continuing on he could hear her talking with a man and he began to get nervous as he drew closer to the door that was cracked just a bit._

_Stopping at the door he peeked inside but he couldn't see her. She must have been just out of sight, so he pushed the door open and stepped inside calling, "Mama?"_

_His Mama gasped and a big man turned to him. What he saw terrified him. His mama's beautiful hair was all messed up and her pretty dress was falling off her shoulders. The big man looked mean and Edward took a step back. _

"_Mama?" Edward said in a very small voice._

"_What are you doing here, boy?" the mean man demanded._

"_Edward, honey, I thought I told you to stay where you were put," she said pulling her dress up._

"_I…"_

"_Always in the way." The mean man was walking towards him and Edward shrank back in fear. _

"_Leave him be, I'll take care of him," Mama said, rushing towards Edward._

_But the mean man said "Stay where you are, Elizabeth. This boy needs to learn a lesson about minding his own business."_

"_No! He didn't mean any harm. Let me take him, he won't bother us again."_

_Then the mean man grabbed her by the hair and threw her on the floor. "Don't talk back to me in my own house! You think you can just let your trash do whatever he wants in my house?"_

_Edward started crying and saw that his Mama was crying too. She scrambled up and ran for him but the man grabbed her and pulled her back._

"_Please, he's just a boy. He didn't know. It won't happen again, just let me take him back downstairs," she begged._

"_You're damn right it won't happen again. You've got a choice to make Elizabeth. Who will it be? Because I won't put up with a snivelly brat in my house." he snarled in her face._

_She hesitated and he threw her against the wall. She crumpled to the floor sobbing. Then the mean man's red face turned back on Edward as he stalked over to the petrified boy huddled against the wall. _

Edward awoke from the dream gasping and shuddering, his mind playing over and over the painful memories that surfaced in his slumber. He remembered the day his mother had hesitated and he suffered the ruthless beating from the man who _would_ have provided a comfortable life for Elizabeth Masen.

Failure and despair washed over him. He had been too small to take care of his mother then. And now… Would he ever be the kind of man that could provide for and protect those he loved? Would he ever be worthy of the love and respect he craved more than anything? More importantly, would _Bella_ ever see him as a man worthy of _her_ love and respect?

He didn't know, but he wanted it desperately... more than anything he could ever imagine.

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has put me on alert and favorites! Also, thank you to everyone who reviews, you completely make my day and I consider it an honor that you take the time to let me know what you think about my story. You rock!**


	16. Salvage

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Special thanks go out to LJSummers for being my amazing beta. I appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations! Her suggestions and corrections make this work so much better! Thank you!**

**And thanks also to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me! I'm so grateful for her thoughts and input!**

**Chapter 16: Salvage**

As soon as Edward left the room in a rage, Bella closed the door with a resounding thud and collapsed on her bed, choking on her sobs. How could he possibly infuriate her so terribly? She knew he was providing her with shelter but the way he had insisted on telling her what she could and could not do made her blood boil.

She had had enough of living under the shadow of men that wanted to control her – however well meaning they might be. And there was no way she would let Edward do that.

She still cared about Jacob and she knew she had hurt him deeply. She also knew that her rejection had come as a complete surprise to him. He had no idea she did not share his feelings. So she felt perfectly justified in giving him the reassurance he needed that this _marriage_ was what she wanted and that she hadn't been manipulated into anything.

_What I wanted…_

None of this was really what she wanted. What she wanted was impossible: to have her father back and to return to the time when she knew whom and what she could trust and when she felt like she belonged.

Now she was just… adrift.

And what did Edward want? She was quite certain that he didn't want a petulant girl sulking in the corner and verbally attacking him no matter how justified she felt in her behavior.

At a deeper level, she didn't really think he _wanted_ to control her. She did believe that he was trying to help her, to protect her, in his own misguided way. And what frustrated her even more was that her feelings for Edward were like a two sided coin. On the one hand she didn't want to feel like his possession that he could order around as he saw fit. On the other hand she longed to be cared for by him. She wanted to feel cherished and prized and… safe. And that really made her bristle because she didn't _want_ to need a man for that.

If she could just hold onto her anger, then she wouldn't have to admit that she ached for him in a way that scared her.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning she woke, feeling more exhausted than when she went to sleep the night before. She groaned when she thought about facing Edward. She knew he was right about one thing. She couldn't keep avoiding him the way she had. And she did feel badly about lashing out at him, even if he was wrong in his assertion about Jacob. But admitting that she was wrong meant giving up her anger. And giving up her anger meant that she had nothing to hide behind.

While making breakfast she thought about the feelings she was developing for Edward and for how those feelings scared her at their potential to enslave her to him. But would it really be slavery if he truly loved her and wanted what was best for her?

She shook her head; she had no assurances that he felt anything for her. He certainly acted lovingly towards her, but why?

One thing was sure. Bella had to stop avoiding him. And she knew she couldn't go back to the way things used to be. As painful as her circumstances were, she needed to accept that they had happened and she needed to try to move on and make the best of what she had. It could be so much worse.

_If Edward hadn't have stepped in…_

She shuddered to think where she would still be.

As she was placing the plates of food on the table, Edward came downstairs. He met her gaze upon hearing her sharp intake of breath at his haggard appearance. He had dark circles under his droopy eyes, his hair was a mess, not the tousled perfection she was used to, and his mouth turned down in an expression of misery.

Had she done this to him? She didn't think she possibly could have had that effect on him.

She stood gaping as he came and sat down at his place, giving her a small forced smile. "This looks wonderful, Bella. Thank you," he said quietly, releasing her from her stupor. She quickly sat down to join him.

His eyes were on his plate and he didn't say anything more. She knew she needed to apologize for her outburst the night before but she was nervous about how to broach the subject.

After a couple moments of awkward silence she decided she just needed to say it.

As she began, she couldn't meet his eyes. "Edward, I… I'm so sorry for my behavior last night. It was uncalled for. Even if I did disagree with you it was completely inappropriate of me to yell at you like that. And the things I said to you…" she said, shaking her head. "There is no excuse. I'm truly sorry."

Her eyes were still cast down and the silence stretched out between them. She chanced a glance up at him and he was looking at her, a soft smile tinged with sadness on his tired face.

He reached over and took her hand and suddenly she couldn't take her eyes off his strong hand holding hers. "It's alright, sweet girl. You're in an unfathomable situation, facing more stress than anyone should have to undergo." He began to softly rub the back of her hand with his thumb, warmth spreading from the spot up her arm, a strange tension taking root in her stomach. "I know you are feeling out of control and I'm sorry for telling you that you couldn't speak with Jacob. I know I have no rights over you," he said, gently dropping her hand and looking back to his plate.

She felt strangely bereft at the loss of contact and his acknowledgement that he had no rights to her. She was surprised that it made her feel so… hollow.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Bella and Edward passed the next week in polite but quiet distance. They each took care of their own duties around the home and they ate their meals together, but it was as though they were afraid to speak with each other beyond casual pleasantries. They went to church together again that Sunday. Jacob was not present. Bella found herself craving the attention Edward gave her while in public. His arm around her waist was not a fetter, rather a comfort and brace against her struggles. His hand holding hers during the service gave her a strange thrill. And as they left to go home he retreated leaving Bella once again feeling his loss.

On occasion she would catch him watching her. But he always looked away quickly when her eye met his. Once, she thought she saw him blushing.

Thanksgiving came and the family gathered to celebrate. Everyone was kind with Bella, again with the exception of Rosalie. She was not unkind; she just acted as though Bella was not there.

Friendly conversation prevailed at the table as the family laughed at each other and reminisced about stories from years past.

"Remember the Thanksgiving when we had the Pastor and his wife over for dinner and Emmett stuffed as many frogs as he could find into his trouser pockets and they jumped out one by one while we were at the table?" Edward asked, deep laughs racking his body. "They were jumping all around our feet. One jumped on the Pastor's wife's lap. I don't think she was ever the same after that. Remember her face?"

The whole table was laughing and Bella couldn't help but join in.

"Oh yeah?" Emmett piped up. "Remember that Thanksgiving just after Alice and Jasper got married and Edward was chopping wood and the ax slipped out of his hands and almost hit Alice?" Emmett laughed and Edward groaned.

"I was wearing the wrong gloves," Edward defended.

"Jasper was so angry he threw Edward in the creek!"

Bella giggled and Edward just shook his head.

"You'll love Alice," Esme said to Bella. "She's wonderful and I have no doubt that she'll love you too."

"I look forward to meeting her," Bella said, enjoying the feeling of being part of a family.

"Well, how would everyone like some pumpkin pie?" Esme asked as she began to get up.

"Oh no, please let me get it," Bella said. "You've done so much already."

"Oh you don't have to do that, dear," Esme said.

"Nonsense, you just relax and I'll go get it."

Bella went into the kitchen and began to cut the pie into pieces and place them on dishes. She needed to transfer the cream to a serving bowl but the bowl was located up high on the top shelf of the cabinet. As she stretched to reach it, her fingers just barely falling short of their goal, she felt someone come up behind her.

"Let me," Edward's husky voice murmured. His left hand coming and resting on the counter on one side of her body as the other reached above her on the other side to retrieve the bowl. She was hyper aware of her breathing and the warmth coming from him, filling her with his presence. He pulled it down but did not step back immediately. He placed his left hand gently on her upper arm and she could feel him pressed up against her back as he gave her the bowl.

"Thank you," she whispered, turning her head slightly toward him. Then he stepped back and Bella was reacquainted with her emptiness.

She turned to face him, her heart pounding, and his eyes were burning right into her. She felt as though he were branding her very soul. She wanted to feel his arms around her for his touch drove away the loneliness.

"I just came in to see if I could help you with anything," Edward said.

"Oh, umm… why don't you help me carry these dishes?"

The corner of his mouth turned up in a crooked smile as he picked up some of the pieces of pie to take out to the family.

Her heart was still thundering, she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. She was sure he could hear it as they walked together back out to the table.

As the family enjoyed dessert, Bella's eyes would drift to Edward of their own accord. Each time he saw her, his lips would turn up in the most beautiful way sending flutters through her stomach. She couldn't help but return his smiles.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The next morning Edward took Bella to Angela Webber's house. He walked her to the door and when Angela answered he looked down at her, smiling. "Have a good time, Bella." Then he kissed her forehead. She blushed and could feel the strong pull on her body crying out to stay in contact with him.

"Thank you," she breathed. He smiled and walked back to the wagon.

She turned to look at Angela who was beaming, which only made Bella blush all the more.

"Come in, Bella. Would you like something to eat or drink?" Angela asked.

"No, thank you."

"Alright, well would you like to go down to my mother's shop? I need to pick up a couple things for the quilt for us to work on and they're having a special holiday sale. My father said he will take us. It might be fun," she said smiling.

Bella agreed and they were on their way.

Angela chatted amiably on the trip into town. She was such an easy person to visit with. She was genuinely caring and she carried on pleasant conversation.

When they arrived at the store Angela's father, Pastor Webber, said he was going to wait outside for them.

As they entered the shop, Bella was hit with the enticing aromas of the holiday season. Cinnamon and apples mingled with pine tree boughs from the Christmas display in the shop. The brightly colored packages underneath the tree set up in the window brought Bella back to so many childhood Christmases and a pang of loss ripped through her heart.

Angela chatted happily, oblivious to Bella's internal grief. "Bella, I am so pleased for you with your marriage. I can just tell that you both are so happy together. The way he looks at you, I can see the love in his eyes. And you look well."

Bella pushed the pain aside, not wanting her time with Angela tainted by sadness. But she wasn't quite sure how to respond. Apparently Edward's and her acting had fooled Angela. Although, it felt as though it was less and less an act – at least on her part.

"Yes, we are very happy. He is very good to me and I work hard to be good to him."

Just then Mrs. Webber came out of the back and looked up with a gleaming smile. "Hello girls, it's so good to see you."

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, Mrs. Webber."

They exchanged the usual pleasantries and then Bella and Angela went over to look at some bolts of fabric. Angela selected a few patterns and went to pay for her purchases.

Mrs. Webber congratulated Bella on her marriage and asked how they'd be spending the holidays. She was genuinely excited for her and her new marriage. Her excitement was infectious and Bella couldn't help but begin to see her situation in a new light. Edward was wonderful to her and she had so many blessings to be grateful for.

If she could just put this trust issue to bed, then she'd really be grateful.

"Oh, Bella," Mrs. Webber said. "Did you have a nice visit with your cousin?"

"My cousin?" Bella asked.

"Yes, a couple days ago a young man was here. I didn't catch his name, though. He said he was your cousin and that you hadn't seen him in many years."

Bella looked perplexed. "I don't have any cousins that I know of."

"Hmm, that's strange. He said he was here for a visit. He said he wanted to collect on his lost time with you," Mrs. Webber said.

"That _is_ strange; I'm not at all sure who he was." Bella was confused but figured that Mrs. Webber must have been mistaken.

"Oh well, never you mind, then dear, perhaps I misunderstood whom he was speaking about. You girls run off and enjoy your time together."

"Thank you, Mother," Angela said.

Back at Angela's house the two girls set to working on the quilt for the Christmas Bazaar. Bella cut squares out of the fabric while Angela worked on piecing them together in a pattern.

"So Bella, tell me about Edward. What is it about him that made you fall in love with him?"

"Umm… well…" Bella stammered. She expected Angela to ask about Edward, maybe how they met or how married life was. But having to articulate how she had fallen for him? What could she say? "Well, he is obviously very handsome," she said, blushing.

Angela smiled and nodded, pinning a scarlet colored square to a pine green one.

"And I guess he was just so charming the times I met him. Actually the first time I met him was in your mother's store and he quoted _Romeo and Juliet_ to me."

"Oh, how romantic," Angela breathed. "I love Shakespeare, what line did he quote?"

Bella thought for a moment, then dropped her gaze. "He said, 'Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.'"

Angela's jaw dropped a bit and her eyebrows went up. "Oh, Bella."

Bella blushed again. "Yes, he's very charming, and very well read, and intelligent, and witty, and respectful, and supportive, and sensitive, and loving…" Bella stopped for a moment lost in her thoughts. Everything she had said about Edward had been true. If her life had been different, if her father hadn't have arranged her marriage to Jacob, if she could have chosen a husband, and Edward had been there, why wouldn't she have chosen him?

Of course he had his faults, but she was well acquainted with her own less than perfect attributes.

The realization settled over her and she felt her heart unfurl and begin to blossom in her chest. Suddenly her desperate need to maintain her walls of defense didn't seem so necessary. She found herself wanting to reach out, wanting to accept, wanting to give, wanting… _him_.

Angela was just sitting and watching her as Bella took it all in.

Finally, Bella let out a shaky breath. "I'm very blessed."

Angela's smile was wide and genuine, "I can see that, Bella. I'm very happy for you."

Edward picked Bella up after lunch and he held her hand from the door to the wagon. She relished the contact. After he helped her up into her seat, he kept the physical barrier between them.

He asked how her visit was and she told him about the nice time she had visiting with Angela.

"You should get together with her more," he said.

"Yes, I enjoy her very much," Bella said.

She watched Edward as he directed the horses through the roads, the muscles in his forearms working as he commanded the reins. She could feel a pull on her being reeling her in, to be closer to him, to touch him. She knew her walls were a lost cause.

Back at the house, Bella checked the fire in the cook stove and began chopping vegetables for dinner.

Edward was just about to head outside to work when Emmett burst in the front door, wild-eyed and breathing heavily. "Edward!" he gasped. "Come! Now!" he stopped, fighting to gain control of his breathing.

"What? What's going on Emmett?" Edward asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Rosalie… the baby!" And Carlisle is gone for the day."

"Where's Carlisle?" Edward demanded.

"Mrs. Roberts broke her leg. He's gone. You've got to come now!"

"Emmett… I… it's been ages… I…"

Bella remembered how Edward had told her he had been to medical school and worked under Carlisle for a time in Chicago. She wondered if he had ever delivered a baby before.

"Edward! Please!" Emmett begged him, sweat dripping off his forehead.

Edward hesitated for a moment, running his hands through his hair, before rushing to the door and following Emmett out.

He ran to get his horse, Bella hurrying behind.

"Let me come. I'll help with whatever you need," she said, not really knowing exactly what she was signing up for.

"Fine, come on," he said, hoisting her onto the tall chestnut mare and pulling himself up behind her.

They reached Emmett and Rosalie's house in record time. The adrenaline was coursing through Bella's veins, her anxiety high, she could only imagine how Edward must have been feeling.

As they were rushing inside, Edward asked his brother, "How far along is she?"

"I don't know. She's been in pain all day but keeps insisting that it's nothing. Then she just collapsed!"

Esme was already there. When they entered the house she was heating water on the stove. Bella could hear Rosalie panting and crying out from the bedroom and all of her previous feelings toward her sister-in-law evaporated as her thoughts trained on the concern to see her, Emmett, and the baby through this.

"I brought Carlisle's spare medical kit," Esme said, bringing it over to Edward.

"Thank you." Then looking to his brother, he directed, "Emmett, go get some blankets."

He then looked at Bella. She could see the anxiety in his eyes and she wanted to ease that. Placing her hand on his arm, she said, "You can do this, Edward. It's going to be fine. Just tell us all what you need and we'll help."

At her touch and encouragement, she watched as that anxiety turned to an unwavering determination in his eyes and he nodded. "Right, come with me."

He strode resolute into the bedroom and she followed behind just as Rosalie gave a prolonged, tortured cry.

She was in the bed, under the blankets in just her chemise. Her usually perfect blonde hair was sticking to her head with sweat as she lay on her side, curled into herself from the pain.

"Rose, we're going to help you. You and the baby will be just fine; you just need to work with me, alright?" Edward said, immediately taking charge.

There were tears streaming down her face as she glared at Edward and demanded, "Where's Carlisle?"

Bella's eyes shot to Edward, worried that he would falter under her clear lack of confidence in him.

"Carlisle is out on a medical call, he'll be back as soon as he's done. Until then, I'm going to help you. You don't have anything to worry about; I've done this before, alright?"

Bella admired his ability to take control and yet be tender with her and her sensitivities.

Rose let out a mournful cry, burying her face in the pillow.

Just then there was a knock at the door and Bella rushed to get it. Emmett had the blankets and he was shifting nervously back and forth on his feet.

"Thank you, Emmett. Don't worry, we'll help her and we'll let you know what's going on as much as we can," Bella tried to reassure him.

He nodded, his eyes wild and hair even wilder.

Bella closed the door and turned back to the bed, bringing the blankets.

"Put some blankets underneath her and put the rest to the side. We'll need some for when the baby comes," Edward directed.

Edward was at Rosalie's head while Bella followed his instructions. When she lifted the cover that lay on top of Rose's rocking form, Bella saw that the bedclothes underneath were soaked and tinged with red. Bella swallowed nervously. She had never witnessed a birth before but she knew enough to know that Rose's water had broken.

She put a thick layer of blankets down and then coaxed Rose to roll over on top of the clean, dry bedclothes.

Esme came in with a pan of hot water and Edward rolled up his sleeves to his elbows and cleaned his hands and arms.

"Okay, Rosalie, I'm going to check and see where the baby is, alright?"

Rosalie whimpered, closed her eyes and nodded.

Esme knelt by Rosalie's head, took her hand, and whispered reassuringly to her while Bella helped Edward with the blankets. He discreetly kept the blankets in place while checking the progress of the baby. Bella had never seen this side of Edward before. She had known he'd worked as a doctor before but to actually see him in action was awe-inspiring. She startled from her thoughts when Rosalie stiffened and let out a strangled cry as another contraction wracked her body. Edward looked up and smiled at Bella reassuringly.

After a moment, Edward stood and said, "Okay, Rose, you're doing great. We just need to wait a little bit longer before it's time for you to push."

At Edward's suggestion, Bella went to the head of the bed and knelt down opposite Esme, taking Rosalie's other hand, wishing she could be of more help. Looking up she saw Esme's eyes shining with unshed tears. Suddenly she wondered what Esme's history had been. Had she birthed any children? She didn't know. All she knew was that Edward, Emmett, and Alice had been adopted.

She knew Edward was nervous, but he never let it show to Rosalie. She watched him as he prepared the instruments: forceps, needle and thread, some sturdy looking scissors, and something that looked like a clamp along with a scalpel. She sent a silent prayer up into the heavens for strength and safety knowing it was desperately needed. This was dangerous for mother and baby alike, but watching Edward's methodical and capable preparation as well as the way he had already tended to Rosalie gave her confidence and hope.

Just then Rosalie started shaking, violent tremors running all through her. Her limbs were locked tight, jaw clenched and teeth rattling. She began weeping and sweat was pouring off of her. Bella ran to get a damp cool cloth and began wiping Rosalie's brow but she swatted at her hand, shaking her head.

Esme was still speaking soft soothing words and Bella asked, "What can I do for you Rosalie?"

Rosalie just shook her head, still crying, "I don't know, I don't know."

"Okay, it's okay. Would you like a sip of water?"

"No," Rosalie ground out through her clenched teeth, another hard contraction causing her to become impossibly even more rigid than before.

Bella could hear Emmett's feet pounding the floor, pacing back and forth in front of the room. She could only imagine the anxiety and helplessness he was feeling at that moment. She and Esme exchanged a look when his pacing became increasingly frantic.

"If you're alright, I'm just going to go keep Emmett company. Rosalie, you're going to be just fine. You're doing beautifully. Bella, let me know if you need anything, anything at all," Esme said and Bella nodded in assent.

Edward finished setting up and checking all the tools. He came back over to the bed. Rosalie was panting.

"Get it out. Edward, you have to get it out of me," Rosalie cried.

"Alright, we will," he said gently. "We just have to make sure the baby is ready," Edward said.

"I'm telling you, it's ready. I'm ready, I have to get it out!" she almost yelled, but just then she went into another rocking contraction, more tears streaming down her face.

"Let me just check one more time," Edward said, slightly lifting the blanket. His brows were drawn in concentration. "Okay, Rose, I think you're right. I can feel the baby seems to be in position; it's time for you to push. When you feel the contraction go ahead and push."

He handed Bella a leather strap. "Here, put this in her mouth."

Bella did as she was instructed then took Rosalie's hand again.

When the contraction hit her, she bore down, her face turning bright red as she pushed with all her might.

"Good, Rose, good! Keep that up and we'll have this baby in no time," Edward encouraged.

Again Bella was entranced watching Edward.

Rosalie panted, catching her breath, and Bella took the opportunity to wipe her brow, needing something to do to help out.

Another contraction.

More pushing.

Screaming, the strap falling out of her mouth. Bella rushed to replace it between her teeth.

Another.

More pushing.

Crying.

Another.

More pushing.

Panting.

"Okay, Rose, you're doing great. You just need to keep it up. This baby wants to come, I can tell, but you've got to help him."

Rosalie was still panting, trying to catch her breath.

Spitting out the strap, she cried, "I can't… I can't do it… It's too hard, I can't." She was sobbing.

"Yes, Rosalie, you're doing so well," Bella encouraged.

"No," she gasped, "no, I can't."

"Rose! Look at me," Edward demanded. She raised her bleary and bloodshot eyes to his stern gaze. "This baby is coming and he needs your help, Rose. We're here, we're going to do whatever it takes, but you've got to do this!"

Another contraction hit. Bella put the strap back in Rosalie's mouth and she cried and groaned through her push.

"Yes, just like that!" Bella was in awe of Edward's ability to encourage Rose and cheer her on.

Rose cried in exhaustion.

"Alright, Rose. You're doing great; this will be over before you know it."

Edward looked to Bella and directed her, "Bella get me the forceps, please." When she gave them to him he took them from her hands and smiled.

Another two contractions and Edward exclaimed, "Okay, one more and I think you'll be done." He was beautiful in his focus, Bella was amazed at the man who had complete control of this situation.

On the next contraction, Edward emerged with the baby. Rose gasped for breath and wept with relief and joy. Edward gave the baby a solid whack and the sounds of a lusty cry, filled the room mingling with Rosalie's tears of happiness. He wrapped the baby quickly in a blanket and handed it to Rose.

"Congratulations, Rose, it's a girl."

Tears poured forth from Rosalie's eyes as she gazed in wonder at her new baby. Bella sat back in awe at what had just happened. This was truly a miracle.

When Bella looked back to Edward she saw that he was watching her, an unfathomable look in his eyes that heated her from within and made her want to blush.

After a moment, Edward turned back to Rose and took care of the afterbirth, placing it in a large bowl that Esme had brought in earlier and thankfully covering it with a cloth. He cut and tied the baby's umbilical cord and asked Bella to clean the baby while he went out to speak with Emmett.

Bella was disturbed by the amount of blood that was present and the baby seemed to be covered in a sticky coating that was difficult to remove. She was also afraid that she would hurt the place where the umbilical cord was attached if she wasn't careful. The baby cried, a raspy sound, her mouth wide open, eyes shut and tightly furled limbs shuddering, she had to hold the baby firmly so she didn't slip.

Rosalie lay in the bed exhausted and watched as Bella gently cleaned the baby in the pan of warm water. "She's so beautiful, Rose. You were amazing."

Rosalie just laid there, tears pouring silently down her cheeks. When Bella finished cleaning the baby, she gave her back to Rose who began to attempt to feed her.

"What's her name?"

Rosalie managed to get the baby to latch onto her breast and smiled up at Bella with bleary, watery eyes. "Abigale, her name is Abigale, for my mother."

"Oh, that is just perfect. So beautiful. I'm so happy for you, Rosalie," Bella said smiling back at her.

Esme brought in a tub and began to bring in pots of hot water that she had prepared while Edward and Bella were helping with the birth. Then she brought in some cold water to even out the temperature.

By the time the bath was ready, Rosalie was done nursing and she smiled up at Bella, her blue eyes sparkling, and asked her to take the baby out for Emmett, who had picked up the pacing again, to see. Bella happily agreed taking Abigale gently from Rosalie's arms. Just as she was turning to leave, Rosalie grasped Bella by the elbow and said "Thank you."

Bella was surprised at Rose's gratitude. "I am honored to have been here, Rosalie." Then she turned and left the room, leaving Esme behind to help Rose bathe.

Bella was in awe as she took the tiny girl out of the room. Emmett was eagerly awaiting the introduction to his new daughter, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. The smile that lit up his face was radiant in its intensity as Bella passed the baby over.

Standing next to his brother, Edward admired his new niece, who was wide eyed and staring up at her father. Then stepping back, Edward smiled over at Bella, she sighed and returned the smile. Then he unexpectedly took her in his arms in a tender embrace. She was surprised at first but quickly melted in his arms, delighting in the feeling.

He had been so amazing. She knew that he was terrified, but he never once let Rosalie see his fear. And the way that he took control of the situation… Bella knew there was no one who could have done it better.

"I'm proud of you, Edward."

He squeezed her tighter and buried his face in her hair.

_Home._

The thought came to her unbidden and she was surprised at its intensity.

He released her and they were unable to keep the mirroring expressions of happiness and admiration off their faces.

After a few minutes, Esme came out to tell them that they could come in to see Rosalie. Emmett went in first and after a little while the rest of them joined the happy new parents in celebration.

Baby Abigale was perfect in every way. She had her mother's beauty with her father's dark wavy hair. Emmett and Rosalie were ecstatic.

After Edward and Bella spent a few minutes with them, they decided it was time to get home. Esme promised to stay the night to help Rosalie with the baby.

On the ride home Bella was reminded of the time that Edward had taken her home from the dance, riding his horse just as they were now. She felt safe and secure in his arms and there was a strange ache in her heart thinking that this was just a façade. She didn't want it to be, but then she also thought about her reservations.

"Edward I really am sorry for yelling at you before."

"Don't worry, love," Edward said.

It didn't escape her attention that he used the old term of endearment.

"Edward…" she paused.

"Yes?"

She let out a breath of air, "Why have you been so distant with me?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I was giving you space. You seemed to need it. And quite honestly, I had no idea how to help you deal with what you've been through."

She nodded. "I know, I pushed you away," she acknowledged quietly.

They arrived at their house and Edward rode the horse into the barn.

"I just wanted to help you but I didn't know what you needed and I didn't want to hurt you more." He sighed and continued as he dismounted the horse, helping Bella down. Then he began to tell his story while he took care of putting the horse away for the night.

"Bella, I've been wanting to share this with you, but I haven't known how to do it. No one knows this except my family, but I want, no I need you to know," he looked her in the eye, an expression of sadness overwhelming his features. "I haven't told you everything about my past."

She froze, wondering what terrible secret he had locked away. Her mind flashed through a dozen scenarios and also brought up the image of Tanya hanging on him, his apparent familiarity with a prostitute.

"I told you that my mother died when I was young. What I didn't tell you is how she died."

She listened and he continued.

"My mother was a prostitute, Bella," he said looking at his boots, his hands shoved in his pockets.

She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth.

"I told you I didn't know who my father was and that is because he was one of her… customers."

"Oh," she breathed.

"She had the opportunity to become the mistress of a very wealthy man. He would have kept her but I kept getting in the way," he continued, his eyes still on the ground. "So he threw her out and she wasn't able to make enough money. We lived on the streets in very poor conditions. She died of consumption and I lived on the streets by myself till Carlisle and Esme took me in."

"Oh Edward, how awful."

He looked up at her and continued, "Bella, I don't want to dominate you. I am sorry for telling you I didn't want you to see Jacob. I honestly was trying to protect you, but I can see that you were right to speak with him. I do hope you can forgive me," his eyes beseeching her in unison with his words.

She shook her head. "Of course, Edward."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I want you to be happy doing what you want to do. I want to help you find that out. I'm not here to dictate to you or be a father figure." His eyes were gentle but then he shook his head and continued, "_Quite_ the contrary. I want to be walking with you, not ahead of you. If that means you need to walk away from me, I'll let you go. It won't be easy but if it's what you need, okay. But truly, Bella, I hope you'll stay. And if you do… well, you can do whatever you want to do with regards to me," he said blushing.

They were standing, facing each other in the barn, the cool night breeze blowing gently. The tension between them growing, swirling in the air. Bella wanted to fall into his arms. But she had one more question for him.

"Edward, when we were in Auburn… at that inn. Who was Tanya?" she mumbled, looking at the ground.

He looked confused and then recognition dawned on his face. "Oh, Bella. You don't think… Well, I suppose you couldn't have possibly known… Bella, nothing happened with her. I stayed in that inn on the way to Sacramento, she offered… her services and I declined. That's the whole story, Bella. She was a nice girl in a terrible situation; I felt pity for her, that is all. I hope you know me well enough now to know that I would never do that. Certainly now that you know about my mother you can see how I could never take advantage of a woman in that situation." He was rambling, desperately trying to make her understand.

She looked up at him blushing. "I'm so sorry, I just…"

His green eyes bore into hers for several moments, "Bella, you didn't really know me. What were you supposed to think?"

She smiled tentatively at him and for the second time that night he enveloped her into a tender hug. She sighed against him, breathing in his scent and again she felt him bury his face in her hair. They stood like that for several moments before he took hold of her upper arms, stepped back, and said "Well, it's been a long day. Shall we go inside?"

She smiled and nodded as his hand trailed down the length of her arm and he took her by the hand and led her inside. They climbed the stairs side by side, still holding hands and he kissed her hand at her bedroom door and said goodnight.

Bella went into her room, closed the door and leaned her back against it. She sighed and she couldn't stop smiling. Maybe it was alright for Edward to take care of her just as she would take care of him.

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has put me on alert and favorites! Thank you for the rec's I've received as well! Also, to everyone who takes the time to review, you completely make my day; it's an honor. I love hearing what you are thinking about the story. You are awesome!**


	17. Revelation

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Special thanks go out to LJSummers for being my incredibly skillful beta. I appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations! Her suggestions and corrections make this work so much better! Thank you!**

**And thanks also to BrattyVamp for prereading this for me! She's awesome!**

Chapter 17: Revelation

Edward lay in bed that night completely incapable of wiping the silly grin off his face; his mind kept replaying the events of the day. In addition to the excitement he had over delivering Emmett and Rosalie's baby, he knew his relationship with Bella had suddenly made some significant headway.

He felt relieved at having shared his burden about his mother. He had told her and she had not rejected him. Even though she knew that he was illegitimate and of questionable paternity from Lord knows what kind of society and most assuredly improper society from his mother, she still accepted him.

And not only had she accepted him, but they had actually shared some genuine intimacy that couldn't be explained away as a show. Even now he could still feel her silky hair against his cheek. He could still smell its beautiful scent, so distinctly Bella. Her soft little hand had felt so right in his own and the smiles that graced her face thrilled him beyond words.

He felt like the air had been cleared and maybe, just maybe, he would have a chance to win her heart.

He had nearly frozen with fear when Emmett came to get him to deliver the baby. It had been a long time since he had done that and he had never done it without Carlisle helping him. Granted, babies come, usually they just need someone to catch them. But he had felt deeply fulfilled in being able to give them comfort and use some of his expertise to help bring Abigale into the world.

He knew Bella had contributed greatly to the birth and significantly to his state of mind. She had comforted Rosalie, even though Rose had never been kind to her. And she hadn't panicked, though it was likely that she had never witnessed a birth before. But what impacted him deeply was the faith she had expressed in him and how it had given him the confidence he needed to do the job.

And finally, Bella's proclamation that she was proud of him made his heart swell within his chest. Her opinion meant everything to him and he never wanted to disappoint her or give her reason not to trust him.

Just as he was drifting off to sleep he heard a scream of terror come from Bella's room. He was out of his bed in a flash and scrambling down the hall. Throwing open her door, his throat constricted at what he saw. Bella was curled in a ball on her bed sobbing violently. He rushed to her, kneeling on the bed and taking her in his arms.

"Bella, what is it? What happened?" he asked frantically.

"James! It's James!" she said clawing at his shirt and hiding her face in his chest.

"What?" he demanded, not sure what she meant. His eyes shot around the room checking to make sure her window was closed and he hadn't missed anything. When he confirmed that nothing was amiss he asked, "What's James?"

She was fighting to get the words out between her panicked sobs as she looked up at him and said, "He's here," she whispered.

"Where?" he demanded.

"In Rough and Ready, he's come for me." The terror was wild in her eyes as she gripped the front of his shirt in iron fists. Edward was starting to think she was having a nightmare.

"Bella, it's okay. I've got you. You're not in danger, you'll be just fine. Just calm down," he said smoothing her hair away from her face and gently caressing the tears from her cheeks.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "I had a dream," she began.

"I know sweet girl, I know. You're just fine. I'm here and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"Edward, no!" she insisted, exasperation and urgency coloring her tone. He was a bit startled but waited for her to continue. "Edward, I had a dream… well a memory really, about my time in Sacramento…" she trailed off. "It was James promising me that he always collects on his investments."

"Bella that doesn't matter, you're safe." He was going to continue but the insistent and almost irritated look on her face silenced him.

"When I was at the store, Mrs. Webber told me that my _cousin_ had been in and said he was visiting me. That he had come to _collect_ on lost time with me. I told her that I didn't have any cousins. I thought she was mistaken - that maybe he was visiting someone else. But I did think it was an odd choice of words. James used that same word with me! Edward… I think… what if James is after me?"

The story she told him was unsettling but realistically he didn't think James could possibly be here in Rough and Ready. No, Mrs. Webber had likely misunderstood whom the person was visiting as Bella had first thought and she had had a very vivid dream and was understandably fearful.

But she was still clinging to him and crying in fear.

"Bella, there's no reason to think that it was James in the store," he said soothingly. "If it had been, we would have had problems with him already, I'm sure. Angela's mother must have been mistaken."

He lay her down on the bed, lying next to her, his arms wrapped around her and he began rubbing her back to help to calm her nerves. "You're safe. There is no way I will ever let him touch you again," he whispered in her ear. He felt her relax infinitesimally and she sighed against his chest. She seemed to be calming down but her nearness was doing anything but calm_ his_ senses.

He tried to focus on what she needed, on helping her to settle down. But it felt as though she was all around him, her softness, her scent, even her hair was fanned against him. He ached for her and yet at the same time he felt despicable for having those thoughts when she was so distraught.

But he could feel the tension draining out of her body and the last thing he wanted was to leave her side at that moment. So he continued to rub her back through her nightdress and whisper reassurances that she was safe and he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

Edward awoke to the feeling of warmth seemingly surrounding him. He felt deeply contented and whole. He drifted, not wanting to move from his present state of peace. As his thoughts began to clear he opened his eyes and saw that the sun was streaming through the cracks in the curtains and Bella was lying on his chest.

_Mmmm, right, good… mine. _

In the very next breath he became keenly aware of the impropriety of their situation. But he couldn't deny that it warmed him deeply to be there holding her and keeping her safe. It felt incredibly intimate to have slept with Bella in his arms. He certainly didn't _want_ to move from his current position.

But he didn't know how Bella would react to the knowledge that they had fallen asleep together – in her bed – and stayed that way all night long. It was unlikely that he would be able to remove himself without waking her up, but he had to try.

She was lying on his left side, her head tucked on his chest. Her hand was grasping his shirt just under his arm on his right side. Ever so gently he released her hand from his shirt and slowly lifted and laid it on her side. He then reached over and slid his hand underneath her head and moved out from underneath her, settling her head on her pillow. Just as he began to remove his hand from under her cheek, her beautiful brown eyes popped open and she blushed the most alluring shade of pink.

Edward froze, not knowing whether to expect indignation or guilt or some other unfavorable reaction.

Instead, Bella's shy voice croaked from lack of use, "Good morning."

Edward quickly jumped off the bed, shame written all over his face, and staring at his feet. "Ahh, yeah, I was just… umm…"

Bella giggled, "Oh Edward, what would everyone say if they knew you had shared a bed with your _wife_? What a scandal we would cause."

He looked up and saw the smile on her face and laughed at her joke.

Nodding, he agreed. "I suppose. I'm sorry Bella, I didn't… plan this. I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry as well, it was completely unintentional," she said, shaking her head, her expression clouding over. "I was just so scared. But you're right; it's ridiculous, I'm sorry."

"What's ridiculous?"

"You're right, Mrs. Webber must have been mistaken, I shouldn't have panicked like that."

"Don't apologize, I was happy to be here for you, love," he said placing his hand on her cheek.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

During the next several days the family assisted Emmett and Rosalie with settling in to their new lives as parents. Bella took turns with Esme cooking extra food and taking it over for their meals and she also went over to take care of the baby for a little while so Rose could have some time to herself. Rosalie seemed to warm to Bella considerably since Abigale's birth and the two women got along reasonably well, rather than just tolerating each other.

Bella also spent some time with Esme since Edward's mother had determined to help her with a dress for the Winter Ball that was coming up. She and Edward would be attending and Esme had decided that Bella would be the most beautiful girl there. Of course this was no contest for Edward as he already knew she would be far lovelier than any of the other girls.

When they weren't working or helping the family, Bella and Edward enjoyed each other's company. Often after a long day they would sit together reading by the fire. Bella had grown to love Edward's extensive collection of books and consumed them at a rate that surprised him. Then they would talk over the stories and themes they found there.

Edward loved how passionate Bella was about literature. He watched her come alive as she spoke about the characters and stories and poetry that she discovered. She loved Byron and Shelley and Keats. She poured over Milton and Spenser and Dryden. Of course he knew she loved Shakespeare and he delighted in making her blush by quoting particularly sentimental lines. But he was surprised that she seemed to even enjoy some of Chaucer's bawdy Canterbury Tales. There was many an evening they spent in front of the fire carrying on in depth debates over the literature they read. Edward couldn't help but provoke her, purposely taking an opposite stance on something in a work that would stir her passion.

One evening she had selected a volume of Donne's poems and read them aloud.

"But why is he speaking about a flea?" he goaded her.

"It's a metaphor."

"For what?"

"For… for the consummation of their love." She blushed a bit.

"What a filthy, vulgar man," Edward scoffed.

Then he sat back and thrilled in the fire of her eyes and the fervor in her voice as she vehemently pontificated her position and he desperately tried not to smile.

"It's not vulgar! It's intimate, it expresses his desire for her. Of course, his beloved is right not to concede to his desires but it shows how he longs for her."

"Well it's certainly not romantic. How can the discussion of being bitten by a flea, having your blood sucked, and subsequently crushing that flea be romance? No woman would want that," he pushed her further. Edward sat, chewing the inside of his cheek, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes and a teasing grin on his face.

She took the bait. "It is romantic! His love is ardent, the longing is tangible. And it is brilliant how he takes such lowly imagery and turns it into romance. Any woman would want to be loved that passionately," she retorted.

She was exquisite.

They also took walks in the woods around their home talking about their childhoods, their parents, what they wanted in life and anything else that came to mind. Edward loved that Bella laughed freely. Her joy lit him up from the inside. One evening after dinner as they planned to take a walk, Bella went upstairs to her room to get a wrap to shield against the chill.

Coming down the stairs Bella asked "Edward, I can't find my blue wrap, have you seen it?"

"No, but I'm sure it will turn up."

"Hmm, that's strange. I'm quite certain I left it on the chair."

"Don't worry, you look lovely in the black one," Edward said, smiling and winking at her.

As they walked, they were quiet, both lost in their own thoughts.

Since they had opened up to each other and worked out their misunderstandings on the day Abigale was born, Edward had delighted in Bella's company. She was intelligent, compassionate, courageous and loved to laugh. She was beautiful, strong, and quick to forgive. She took his breath away. And he thought that she seemed to enjoy being with him as well.

"Bella, are you happy here with me?" he asked, suddenly intensely interested in the rocks along the trail where they were walking.

The air around them seemed to crackle with an energy that he couldn't place.

When she stopped and looked up at him, he stopped as well. "Yes, Edward. I didn't think I could be happy again, that I could… _breathe_ again after my dad died." She looked down and shook her head, then returned to his gaze. "Of course I still miss him terribly but you are so good to me and I have loved our times together and the acceptance that your family has given me even under the circumstances. I just hope I'm not holding you back from _your_ dreams. You deserve to be happy. I just don't want to be a burden to you."

His eyes bore into hers and it was as though all of nature stopped and it was only them. He stepped closer to her and the energy seemed to hum between them and around them like a force, driving them together. He took her face in his hands, running the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip, the urge to place his lips on hers was almost unbearable. He came closer until mere inches were between them and whispered, "_You_ make me happy." He looked deeply into her eyes, willing her to understand. _You Bella. Only you._ She was completely still, not even breathing. He sighed and continued, his eyes crinkling in fondness, "I cannot wait to hold you in my arms at the Winter Ball for the whole town to see." She still wasn't moving, just gazing right back into his eyes. So he placed a lingering kiss on her cheek and he felt her tremble just a bit. Then he stepped back and watched her cheeks turn pink and the corners of her mouth turn up in the most beautiful smile.

That one smile made his heart soar. There was no way she could have misinterpreted his meaning, and yet she smiled.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

They fell comfortably into this new routine of living and sharing pastimes together.

One evening they went over to Carlisle and Esme's house for dinner. After they finished eating, Bella disappeared with Esme to work on her dress and Carlisle invited Edward to come sit with him in the parlor.

Edward's father sat across from him and looked him in the eye. "Edward I haven't had the chance to tell you how proud I am of you and the way you helped Rosalie with her birth. I've always told you that you are a gifted doctor. I could not have done any better myself."

Edward shifted in his seat. "Thank you Dad, that really means a lot to me."

"Well, I am sincere, son. Have you thought about going into practice? Believe it or not, there is plenty of work for both of us around here, especially when you consider some of the outlying areas."

"I have thought about it, but I just don't know."

"Alright, well you know you won't get any pressure from me. But if you ever want to go into practice with me, I would be more than happy to have you."

"Thank you, your confidence in me is humbling."

"You don't need to thank me, you've earned every bit of my respect. Oh and I've also been meaning to tell you that Bella really is a lovely girl. I think you were right, Edward. You chose well and she will be a blessing to you all of your days; I'm sure of it."

A vision ran through Edward's mind of him and Bella sitting on the porch with gray hair watching their grandchildren play. He smiled and agreed with his father. Bella had already been a blessing to him. He could only hope that she would be with him all of his days.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

The night of the dance, Edward was anxiously excited. He couldn't wait to spend the entire evening holding Bella in his arms. He didn't plan to let her go for one moment. He was going to make absolutely certain that she knew exactly how he felt about her and he'd been running through precisely what he wanted to say in his mind. There would be no possible doubt over his devotion to her.

He was pacing at the bottom of the stairs, tugging on the hem of his waistcoat, waiting for her to come down. His cravat had been straightened more times than he could remember and his impeccably combed hair was likely not so impeccable having had his hands run through it several times.

He heard her door creak open on the second floor and her soft footfall coming down the hall and the stairs. As she rounded the corner on the stairwell he stopped breathing. His mouth went dry. He was immobile. His eyes were fixed on the vision before him. He always thought her beauty beyond compare, but it was as though he had physical pain just looking at her, yet what sweet pain. Her chestnut hair was swept off her creamy bare shoulders and her deep blue dress swished over her feet with each step.

Her cheeks flushed and she looked down at her feet as she descended. Edward took the time to close his gaping mouth and compose himself so as not to make her uncomfortable with his intent perusal.

"You are stunning, Bella," he said as she took the final step and he took her wrap from her hands and laid it across her shoulders then held his arm out for her to take.

"Thank you, Edward. You look very handsome," she said quietly with a soft smile on her face.

"Just so we both know what to expect from the evening," he said his eyes alight, "you will not be dancing with anyone else tonight because I don't plan to let you go for a minute."

Her only response was a smile and a giggle. And suddenly his mind was occupied on how he could make her giggle again.

The horses and wagon were ready. He helped her into the seat and they were on their way.

The night air was very cold; Edward had put a blanket on the seat for her to use if she needed. But even with her wrap and the wool blanket her teeth were still chattering, tremors coursing through her body from the chill. He smiled over at her and put one arm around her, steering the reins deftly with the other hand. She burrowed into his side and it felt right, just as it should be.

The dance hall was decorated lavishly and the music was in full swing when they arrived. Nearly all the heads in the room turned to watch them as it seemed that they were unfortunately still the talk of the town. But all Edward could concentrate on was the dark haired beauty by his side.

She fidgeted nervously as her eyes scanned the room. It was endearing.

Leaning over to whisper in her ear, he said, "Don't worry, Bella. Just look at me. If any of it makes you uneasy, just focus on me. It's just you and me here tonight."

Her wide eyes met his and she relaxed noticeably.

"Would you like some hot cider?" he asked.

"Yes please."

He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the refreshment table. They stood sipping their cider, Bella watching the people dancing and Edward watching her. When they were done he set the cups down and took her hand, leading her out on the dance floor.

She was biting her lip as he placed his hand on her waist and took her hand. He waited till she met his eyes then smiled and said, "Relax."

Then they were dancing. He led her all over the dance floor, watching the little wisps of hair that fell around her face stir with the movement. Her cheeks were pink with excitement or exertion, he couldn't tell. Her chest heaved from the accelerated breathing and he fought with himself to keep his eyes on her face. But it was magical, dancing and laughing and talking with each other.

The band struck up a slower song and Edward did not miss the opportunity to slide his hand around to her back and pull her closer. She held her breath as he held her tight and he smiled at her as the music strained on. Her sweet scent was all around him and he hummed in contentment, gliding her around the floor.

The song ended and Edward was going to suggest that they have another refreshment as they'd been dancing for quite some time when Carlisle approached. Edward had been so focused on his beautiful date that he hadn't even noticed when his parents arrived.

"May I cut in?" Carlisle asked.

True to his word, Edward did not want to let her go even for a moment. "We were just going to have a break."

"Fine, why don't you take a break and I'll dance with your lovely wife, here," his father smiled, his knowing eyes twinkling in the lamplight.

Edward begrudgingly handed her off to his father. "Of course, enjoy," he said with a forced smile.

He walked over to where his mother stood, beaming on the edge of the crowd.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Esme sighed.

"She's amazing," he agreed.

He stood there watching her twirl around the room with his father. He could see Carlisle speaking with her as she smiled up at him and laughed. And his heart warmed.

"Would you like to dance, Mom?"

Esme smiled up at him. "I'd love to."

He gently took his mother out on the dance floor and they glided to the music. Esme was a lovely dancer and she beamed with pride at her son.

"We're so happy for you, Edward. It's all we've ever wanted for you, to be in love with a wonderful girl. And she is perfect for you, I can see. You are all lit up, I've never seen you this alive," Esme said, a genuine smile on her face.

Edward just smiled back at her. There were really no words for the way he felt about Bella and to his immense joy, she seemed to return his feelings.

The song ended and Edward kissed his mother on the cheek, walked back to Carlisle and Bella, tipped his head to his father and reclaimed his girl for another dance.

"You broke your promise," she teased.

"Believe me, it was not without effort. If it had have been anyone else, there's no chance I would have let you go," he smirked at her.

This time as they danced he did not take his eyes from hers. He felt all barriers drop as he silently communicated his all-consuming passion for her. She did not look away; rather there was deep fondness in her eyes. He had to know just what she felt.

"Edward, this has been a lot of fun. I'm glad we came." Then she continued, shyly looking down. "I love your company, I never thought I would feel so comfortable with… you."

The sudden urgency to tell her how much he loved her was overwhelming. He had to get her out of there. He couldn't wait any longer, the imperative to confess his devotion driving every thought, every action.

He took a quick breath. "Want to go home?"

"Yes, let's go."

So he took her hand, secured her wrap and his coat, and they left the dance.

Their breath was visible in the cold night air along with the heavy puffs coming from the horses as they rode home. But even with the chill and the sound of the horses' hooves there was a pulsing, that same energy that crackled between them was there. His arm was again around her, drawing her close, warding off the cold and he rested his head on the top of hers.

As they approached the house, the urgency to confess everything to her was so consuming, so provoking, that he felt as though he might literally burst if he didn't tell her right then. He guided the horses and wagon into the barn and she waited while he unhooked the horses and put them in their stalls for the night.

Coming over to join her, he couldn't keep from touching her. He gathered her up into a strong hug and kissed the top of her head, humming. "Bella, I had such a nice time tonight. Thank you for coming with me."

"I did too, Edward. And I even enjoyed dancing with your father. He is… so kind."

He smiled, warmed by the fact that she seemed to be fitting in so nicely with his family.

He wrapped his arm around her waist and started walking towards the house.

His heart began to stutter as he began his rehearsed speech. "Bella, I have been abundantly content since you have come to live here with me."

"I have enjoyed it too."

He continued, "Even when we were at odds, I was glad that you were here because I knew you were safe. I knew I could watch out for you. And I've tried to give you what you needed in every way because I care about you and…" he sighed. "I don't ever want to lose you."

"You don't need to worry about me, Edward. I'm going to be fine-" she said as they reached the front door of the house.

He stopped her there on the porch. "No, Bella. What I mean is," he took a deep breath, "what I mean is…" The words weren't working.

_Oh, forget it._

Reaching out he placed his hand on her cheek and ran his thumb along her bottom lip. Her breath hitched and her eyes widened. He waited for some sign that she wanted this and when she smiled up at him with trust in her eyes he slid his hand from her cheek to cup the back of her neck. He stepped into her till their bodies were flush against each other and wrapped his other arm around the small of her back. Then angling her face up towards his, his lips claimed hers.

It was as though he was living for the first time, as though he was feeling for the first time. This girl, this woman knew everything about him and yet she trusted him. It was like she was made just for him and she fit him perfectly. Her lips moved against his in the same impassioned rush as the thirst was quenched and the flame was stoked all in the intense fervor that had been building since the first moment he'd laid eyes on her. Her hands grasped at his waistcoat pulling him closer still as the kiss turned impossibly sweet and slow. Their hands seeking to pull tighter, their breath commingling, their lips pressing, pulling, tugging.

After what felt like hours and yet impossibly way too brief, they pulled away, their foreheads resting against each other, their breathing labored in a swirling cloud of steam in the cold air.

His eyes were still closed when he smiled and said, "We should probably go inside."

**A/N: So I just want to let you know that there are about 5 more chapters and an epilogue planned for To the Highest Bidder. This could change a bit in the writing process but that's approximately what you can expect. I always like to have an idea when a fic is starting to wrap up.**

**If you would like to read John Donne's poem "The Flea" check it out here: **

**www (dot) poetryfoundation (dot) org/archive/poem (dot) html?id=175764**

**If you are literarily inclined, it is considered by scholars to be the best known example of a metaphysical conceit.**

**There's a link on my profile of Bella's dress if you're interested. **

**Thank you to everyone who is reading, putting me on story alert, author alert, and on their favorites lists! Thank you also to everyone who reviews. I respond to every review and each one makes me smile. :)**


	18. Hunted

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thank you to LJSummers for being my incredibly skillful beta. I deeply appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations and her quick and inciteful replies! **

**And thank you BrattyVamp for being my awesome prereader! You're the best!**

**Chapter 18: Hunted**

Life with Edward had been more than Bella had ever thought possible. She found herself looking forward to their time together in the evenings. She loved the way that Edward's face lit up when she walked in the room or the tender way in which he took her hand or put his arm around her waist as they walked together outside.

Falling asleep in Edward's arms the night she had the nightmare felt so right. She felt safe, and cared for and… wanted.

She could no longer deny that he had romantic feelings toward her. And if the fluttering in her belly was any indication, she knew she returned his feelings.

The night of the dance, Bella had been so nervous. She wanted to look beautiful for Edward. But she was also nervous because this was the first time they'd be out together at an event other than to go to church. They would be on display for everyone to see how they interacted. She knew there would be plenty of gossip.

Her nerves were alight as they entered the dance hall. She could see the heads gathered close together, looking their direction. She could hear her and Edward's names in the whisperings. She knew there were many girls who had hoped to secure Edward as their husband, having heard the gossip at church and around town when the Cullens first arrived in Rough and Ready. And those girls were none too happy that she had apparently beat them to it. In particular, Jessica Stanley was positively fuming in the corner, her glare shooting daggers at Bella while her poor date, Eric, stood next to her looking dejected.

But somehow Edward knew how to calm her anxiety. He leaned over and whispered to her, "Don't worry, Bella. Just look at me. If any of it makes you uneasy, just focus on me. It's just you and me here tonight."

_Just you and me._ It was thrilling, indeed, being there with Edward. And his assurances did soothe her worries.

His arms were strong and sure. His green eyes were steady and fixed only on her. Dancing with him was exhilarating and Bella found herself laughing and smiling till her cheeks ached. He had promised he would not let her go and she found that in his arms was exactly where she wanted to be.

But even when she did leave Edward's arms to dance with Carlisle she still found it enjoyable. He was a beautiful dancer and most kind.

"Bella, I know your father would have loved to have seen you tonight and danced with you."

Her eyes welled with tears. She waited for the devastation that the thought of the loss of her father usually brought. It never came. The pang was there, certainly, but the crushing blow did not follow.

Carlisle continued, "I'll have to enjoy that pleasure in his stead," he said with a compassionate look in his eyes. "I know I will never make up for him or ever be a replacement, but I would be honored if you came to trust me and perhaps consider me as a surrogate."

She smiled at his kindness. She knew he wasn't trying to push her loyalties to her father aside. He was merely offering his support as a fatherly figure in her life and there were no words to express what his sentiment meant to her. "Thank you," she said.

When Edward and Bella returned home, she reflected on the wonderful evening they had shared together and when Edward kissed her, it was the very pinnacle of perhaps the most beautiful night of her life.

In the past, the only kisses Bella had ever received were unwanted and violating. Kissing Edward was better than she ever thought to expect. She had felt herself growing closer and closer to him. She had felt the current that tugged at her, unbearably strong. She knew it was only a matter of time before she gave in and when Edward made his overture, held her face, stroked her lip, she knew she would not refuse.

His kiss had been heated, consuming, and yet energizing and strengthening, infusing her with life and hope and passion. Her feelings for him were far from the mediocre attachments she had felt for Jacob. His touch set her aflame. His kiss stirred a sensation in her belly like a coil, tightening and tightening, driving her further and deeper.

When they broke apart they stood, breathing heavily, her body impossibly warm in the cold night air.

When Edward whispered that they should go inside, she didn't want the night to end, but they couldn't stay outside all night.

In silent awareness, he escorted her indoors, and up the stairs. When they reached her door, they turned to each other. His eyes were dark and wanting as he took her face in both of his hands and passionately kissed her mouth once more. Their chests heaving, her hands grasped at his shoulders as his went into her hair, pins falling and bouncing off the hard wood floor. He was insistent and she did not back down as they wordlessly communicated their budding love and pent-up desire.

He tore his mouth from hers and dropped his head to her shoulder, leaning his forehead there. Her hand threaded into his bronze waves as they fought to control their breathing. Just as she thought she was starting to gain some ground on her passion, his lips brushed her skin where her neck met her shoulder. She froze as he kissed her there lingeringly, his tongue gently caressing the tender skin. Her head fell to the side and her breath came in deep and heavy puffs as he trailed up her neck to the spot just below her ear, where he paused and whispered in a husky voice, "I cannot tell you how long I have wanted to do this."

Slowly he pulled back and looked into her eyes, his own hooded with desire. "I think I will need to let you be for the night, Bella," he said with a crooked smile on his face. "Or I'm not going to _let you be_."

She was stunned at his bold statement and yet ached for more of him. But she nodded her head, feeling her cheeks burn. She knew that it was not wise to continue their fervent embrace.

Overwhelmed by the flood of feelings she so suddenly was experiencing, she fumbled behind her for the door knob but she missed as she grasped at the door, the frame, the air. Edward's crooked smile appeared on his face as he reached behind her, his face dangerously close to her own, and opened the door, whispering, "Until tomorrow."

He straightened to bid her goodnight and his eyes glanced past her, his brows furrowed and his eyes hardened.

The shift in his demeanor was so abrupt that she stepped back from him, confused. Yet as she did, he followed her into the room. "What is this?" he demanded, pointing toward her bed.

She turned and the air rushed from her lungs, the blood drained from her face as she looked at the garment laid carefully on the bed, a piece of paper placed on top of it.

It was her dress – from the brothel. Her mind was reeling, ice running through her veins, as she took the paper with shaking hands to see that it was a note, Edward reading over her shoulder.

_My dearest Bella, _

_You looked beautiful tonight at the ball. Though, I would have preferred to see you in this. Your husband is a fool to think that he can really have you. We both know to whom you really belong. _

_Patiently and eagerly awaiting our much overdue reunion._

The note slipped through her fingers and her knees gave out as she dropped to the floor, gripping the corner post of the bed and gasping while the room spun around her, terror and shock coursing through her.

_How did he find me? _

She faintly heard Edward roar as he pushed past her to the window, ensuring the lock, and searching the room. He then stormed to the door and she weakly looked up at him as he turned back to her and said, "You stay here. Lock this door. Do not open it for anyone until I come back." It was not a suggestion.

"No, don't go!" she cried, rushing after him, frightened for his safety. But he didn't even acknowledge her plea as he strode out the door slamming it behind him.

She cringed, tears overflowing her eyes as she shakily locked the door, praying that he would not be hurt. She could hear Edward in his room sounding as if he was tearing it apart. Then she heard his thunderous footsteps rove the upper level, pass by her door, and pound down the stairs.

What if James was still there? What would Edward do? She couldn't bear for him to be harmed.

A few moments later she heard the door to the outside being slammed and she sunk to the floor, shaking and sobbing. This could not be real. Just moments earlier she was blissful and all was right in her world. Now she was holding on by a thread, terrified of falling back into the black hole that Edward had rescued her from.

Those moments seemed to stretch on interminably as she waited for him to return to her.

"Why me?" she wailed to her empty room. _Just leave me alone_, she choked on her sobs. She could not believe that in the blink of an eye her security could be ripped out of her grasp anew and she was yet again wildly out of control of her life.

She did not know how long she huddled in a ball on the floor, trembling and crying before she heard footsteps on the stairs. She froze, listening and waiting. When she heard the knock and Edward call out to her, "Bella, love. It's me. Open the door," she cried out in relief, scrambled to her faltering feet and opened the door.

His face was haggard, impossibly aged in such a short time. In his hand was a large rifle that he propped in the corner as his eyes took in her frightened visage and his arms enveloped her in a strong embrace. Her body cried out in relief at his touch. He smelled of cold air and she breathed him in.

"He's not here. I won't let him touch you," he whispered.

She could feel the tremors in his body just as her own moved through her. And yet he held her, stroked her hair and whispered to her over and over again. She wondered if he was trying to reassure himself as much as her that she would be safe, that James would not win.

Bella settled into bed that night, completely unsettled. Edward had vowed not to leave her alone. He told her he was sleeping on her floor to make sure she was safe but he had joined her in the bed halfway through the night when she failed to keep her tears as silent as she had hoped.

She lay, gathered to his chest, wishing she could just enjoy the moment of sleeping in his arms and not having to worry about the crazed hunter who thought he had rights to her and was clearly tracking her. She slept intermittently, and when she woke in the morning she was weary and heavy laden.

Edward took the offensive dress outside and burned it. If only taking care of James was so simple.

Bella busied herself around the house. She didn't want to stop because if she did she was afraid she would jump right out of her skin with terror. Edward installed extra locks on the doors and checked all the windows, never straying far from her side. Every so often he stopped to give her a frenetic kiss that _almost_ erased her fears.

In all the upheaval of the past day, Bella nearly forgot that Christmas was fast approaching. When they arrived for the church service they found that the little chapel was decorated in greenery and red bows on the ends of the wooden pews as well as along the windows and doors. It was beautiful and Bella longed to be able to revel in the sights, sounds, and smells of the season instead of entertaining the cloud that hovered over her spirit.

Every time the door opened, announcing the arrival of yet another flock member, she jumped and nervously glanced to see who it might be. Edward was edgy as well but kept his arm securely around her waist. They must have looked a sight to all the other attendees with their shifting eyes and tense body language.

She usually loved singing carols every year but she felt anything but joyful. She had finally started to feel happy for the first time since her dad had died. She had only just started to live her life with Edward when the specter of her foolish mistake in Sacramento had broken everything apart, placing her and everyone around her in danger.

She heard the back door open and when she turned she saw Billy Black's dark face as he entered the building. He looked older, he looked tired. He was alone.

Edward's arm tightened around her waist and she looked up into his green eyes, so full of concern and some other emotion she could not place. She smiled at him, not wanting him to worry about her any more than he already was.

When the service concluded the church was abuzz with townsfolk wishing each other a Merry Christmas with joyful smiles and enthusiastic embraces. Angela and her parents gave Bella and Edward kind Christmas greetings and as they made their way toward the back of the church, Bella saw Billy standing off by himself.

She remembered all the Christmases that she and Charlie had spent with Billy and Jacob. How different things were now. That would never be again. A thought flickered through her mind as she wondered if this would be her last Christmas at all. She stifled the panic that surged within her and changed her course, wanting to express her deep fondness with her father's best friend.

"Merry Christmas, Billy," she said, approaching him quietly.

His dark eyes had been fixed on the manger scene erected at the front of the church but slowly turned to her when she greeted him.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," he nodded his head, then unexpectedly folded her into a tender hug. "I hope you will be blessed with your new family. Your dad would be happy for you."

Her eyes pricked as he released her and she gave him a forced smile. "I hope you and Jacob will have a very nice Christmas together."

He cleared his throat roughly and looked down, "Well, Jacob's gone to find work in San Francisco. Work's not too plentiful 'round here so he's off to make his way in the big city. I'll be spending Christmas with the Clearwaters."

"Oh," she breathed, knowing full well that work wasn't the reason Jacob had left. "Well I hope you will have a very nice time with them."

"I will," he smiled.

She paused. "Thank you, Billy, for everything."

He looked surprised but gave her a tight smile then turning to her "husband," "Edward, Merry Christmas," he nodded.

Edward's face betrayed no emotion as he replied, "Merry Christmas, Mr. Black."

As they stepped out the front doors of the church, Bella took in a shaky breath and Edward's eyes scanned all around, looking for the unseen threat.

As they rode home, Bella felt the bile rise in her throat. Maybe she was just getting what she deserved. After all, she had defied her father's decision, broken Jacob's heart, and lied to everyone in her life as well as Edward's family.

Just then Edward's arm encircled her shoulders and he leaned over and kissed her on the top of her head. She closed her eyes and clung to him, the only stronghold she had.

As they sat that afternoon at lunch, Bella looked up to see Edward watching her intently.

"Do not disappear on me," Edward said, his green eyes boring into hers.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Do not disappear inside yourself again. Talk to me," he urged.

She let out a shaky breath. "There's nothing to say."

"Don't give me that, Bella. I'm watching you slipping away and I won't let you. I'm here to support you and not just financially. I… I care about you, sweet girl. Please trust me."

Her eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't mean to shut you out. I just don't know how to deal with all this."

His face was lined in concern, "Last time you had to deal with this, you were alone. But you are not alone anymore."

The warm tears streamed down her face as she felt the emotions rush forward. "I'm just so scared, Edward. I'm so scared and I feel so badly. You didn't ask for this. You've only ever been gracious and kind to me and you don't need this. This isn't just affecting me now. This could place you and your whole family in danger, all because of me."

"Bella, we're not in danger because nothing is going to happen, okay? Trust me. I'm going to take care of James. You need to stop worrying and just let me handle it."

"How can you say that? You don't know what he's capable of and I couldn't live with myself if you or anyone else was hurt on account of me," she said feeling like a worthless burden strung around his neck.

"That's not going to happen, sweetheart."

That night when Bella climbed into bed, Edward laid down with her. She thought about how secure she felt cuddled into his strong arms, how feeling his breath in her hair soothed her fears, and how much she wished this marriage was real.

When Bella awoke the next morning, she opened her eyes to find that Edward was watching her. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead.

"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered.

He was too good to be true. How could he make her feel so safe even under such insane circumstances?

"Good morning," she sighed.

He leaned down and kissed her lips slowly. Her eyes fell closed and she tried to push every concern, every insecurity from her mind and just focus on this amazing man. He hovered over her and she reciprocated everything he gave. All their longing, all their fears, and all their unspoken emotions were communicated in that kiss. Languid and intimate, it broke down every faltering barrier between them. They were in this together and they would see it through – _together_.

His kiss expressed his desire for her and she allowed herself to revel in her own for him. When they finally broke apart, they didn't rush to get out of bed. They simply lay in each other's arms, neither one wanting to face the day and its demands.

But eventually the day did demand their attention. Bella had told Esme that she would help her with Christmas baking and Edward was taking her over there.

When they walked in the door, Esme ran to greet them, giving them both tight squeezes and kisses on the cheek. Edward settled himself in the parlor and Esme said "Edward, you don't need to bore yourself around here. Go on home; we'll get her back to you."

"Ahh, don't worry about it, Mom. I enjoy spending time here. You two carry on and I'll stay out of your way."

Bella loved that Edward would be near even with the unsettling knowledge that it was mainly out of concern for her endangered safety.

Esme chuckled, shaking her head, and went back to the kitchen where the two women worked side by side baking breads and cookies and pies for most of the day. Bella had never seen so many baked goods in one kitchen. Their conversation was easy and pleasant.

Bella was busy rolling out dough for cinnamon rolls when Esme said, "Bella, I want to thank you for what you're doing for Edward. Carlisle and I have spoken and we have never seen him this happy before. It is clear that he loves you very much and we are blessed that all our children have found their mates, the ones that complete them and give them joy."

Bella stopped what she was doing. Her throat constricted at Esme's sincerity and she fought to speak, finally managing, "I am the blessed one." Then, unexpectedly, Esme gave her a tender hug and Bella hugged her back. There was flour all over their dresses, but neither woman seemed to care.

Edward strolled into the kitchen at that moment and stopped, stunned. The women broke apart. Esme had a tear rolling down her cheek and Bella was overwhelmed by the love beaming from her face and beautifully surprised that she felt so connected with her mother-in-law.

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading, putting me on story alert, author alert, and on their favorites lists! Thank you also to everyone who is reccing my little story! Thank you to everyone who reviews. I respond to every review and each one makes me smile. :) Thank yous all around. ((Hugs))**


	19. Comfort

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thank you to LJSummers for being my incredibly skillful beta. I deeply appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations and her quick and inciteful replies! **

**And thank you BrattyVamp for being my awesome prereader! You're the best!**

Chapter 19: Comfort

Edward's breaths came in heavy puffs like an enraged bull, nostrils flaring under the effort, as he searched the property for James. His hands trembled, itching to get a hold of that dirty scoundrel.

_He was in my house. He was in her room!_ He fumed, his boots hitting the ground in heavy thuds.

His imagination played out all kinds of disturbing images regarding James in his house. He wondered how many times he had invaded their privacy. How many places had he stalked Bella? How many private moments had he witnessed? His mind ran through the recent days, the many apparently misplaced items, all the things that had been moved – papers ruffled, chairs in different position than had been left. Then he remembered the wrap that Bella had lost. She never had found where it had gone. Had James been responsible for all these small happenstances? He was disgusted to think of James in the house, looking through his property, rifling through Bella's things, his filthy hands running along her bed… Fury coursed through his body with every step, every sharp glance of his keen eye, demanding an outlet.

Frustration dominated his emotions when his search turned up empty and he returned to Bella to calm her fears, stuffing his own feelings and tending to her. He had promised Bella that he would take care of her and he planned to fulfill his word. He would never let James touch her again.

Edward's guard remained on full alert, his awareness heightened. He'd been unable to completely relax, even during the amazing nights when he held Bella in his arms. She slept fitfully, frequently talking in her sleep. More than once he had awakened her from a nightmare, her whisperings growing panicky and her body thrashing, fighting against him in the bed.

James had been able to get into the house and even though Edward had added extra security measures to the doors, he wasn't going to take the chance that James might be able to break in again in the night and take Bella while he slept. He had planned to sleep on the floor but that first night Bella's quiet cries had stoked his protective desires and he had taken to holding her in bed. It had proven difficult to refrain from being overrun by his… other desires. His body ached for her, it was undeniable. But now with the looming threat that James posed, he had a startling and primal need to truly make her his and stake his claim.

He was furious that James had managed to poison the evening that he and Bella had spent together – the first time they had actually been able to be honest with each other about their feelings and the night of their first kiss. Yet he took great personal pleasure that in spite of, or perhaps in part because of, the threat posed by James, Edward and Bella's relationship only grew in strength. Even though he knew she was frightened, she seemed to thrive under his attentions.

He was also pleased by how well she was fitting in with his family. When he walked into the kitchen on the day that Bella was helping Esme with the Christmas baking and found them embracing, he had been stunned. It was so beautiful, the woman who had raised him and the woman he loved locked in such an affectionate display. Even Rosalie had warmed to her since the birth of Abigale. Bella had done much to help the family – cooking meals for Emmett and Rosalie and baking with Esme. He felt whole, like all the pieces of his life were coming together. James _would not_ be allowed to disrupt that.

His relationship with Bella was turning into all he had ever wanted. She was bright, thoughtful, and witty. Her smile lit up his whole day. He was completely and head over heels in love with her and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He had never thought he could be honest with a girl and not be rejected for his past.

And while James certainly posed a threat, one that he could not and would not forget or allow to come to fruition, he did not want to let it infringe on his desire to secure his future with Bella. He wanted to marry her in truth. He wanted to hold her in bed at night as his wife. He didn't want to have to stop himself with just a kiss. And most importantly, now that he had lived life with her, he couldn't bear the thought of her not always being there with him – walking with him and laughing with him. It would be wonderful to be there for one another through all the trials and joys that life would bring.

One particularly cold night as Bella and Edward lay in bed, she began to shiver even with him hugging her tightly to ward off the chill. Getting out of bed, he went to the other room to get an extra quilt from his chest. As he pulled out the blanket, a wooden box fell out of the folds, spilling its contents on the braided rug.

Exhausted, he sighed, just wanting to return to Bella's side. In the dim light he realized it was the box he'd had since childhood in which he kept all his keepsakes. Quickly, he took the blanket back into Bella's room and spread it over top of the bed to give her extra warmth. Then, lighting a candle, he returned to pick up the mess.

He sat on the floor feeling groggy as he began to sift through the old letters from family members, his modest coin collection, and an Indian arrowhead he had found as a boy; humble things that had been so meaningful to him at the time. He had been unwilling to part with them as they had been his treasures during traumatic and turbulent years. He found his diploma from Rush Medical College, giving him the credentials to practice medicine. Memories came pouring back of traumatic beginnings and the love and acceptance he'd found in his new family. It was odd how he felt sad for the devastated little boy that he had been but at the same time he was proud of what he had managed to become with the help of his family. And then he saw a very small box that he had almost forgotten about. Picking up the rough wooden box, the memories turned wistful. He opened the box and tipped it over, allowing the contents to fall into the palm of his hand.

It was the one item his mother had refused to sell, the posie ring that had been in her family for generations. The last woman to wear it as a wedding ring had been his grandmother. His mother had never been able to wear it in marriage, instead she kept it close to her heart on a chain. Some days when she was particularly sentimental she would rub the metal, an occasional tear tracing down her face. When she was dying she gave it to Edward and told him to keep it safe and he had.

Bringing the candle close so he could see, he read the familiar and worn double lined inscription on the inside of the antique gold ring.

_Flesh of my Flesh Bone of my Bone From One Made Two is Two Made One._

His heart burned in his chest, knowing exactly what he wanted. He put the ring back in its box and placed it on his dressing table, then went back to bed, taking Bella into his arms once more, where she belonged.

Christmas morning Edward awoke, smiled, and rolled over stretching. Bella was not in bed. His first reaction was panic as he bolted upright reaching for his gun. But then he heard the pots and pans clanking around in the kitchen and he realized she was just making breakfast. Sighing he scratched the back of his head and thought about how tiring it was to be on full alert all the time. He opened the door and went out into the hall, listening at the top of the stairs and sure enough he could hear Bella humming while she worked in the kitchen.

As he got dressed he looked at the box containing his mother's ring. With much eagerness and anticipation he put the ring in his pocket just in case the right moment presented itself. The knowledge that it was there seemed to make his whole body hum. After cleaning up he went downstairs. Walking into the kitchen his stomach growled when he smelled the amazing aroma of the food Bella was cooking. He walked up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. She jumped at the contact and a sausage popped in the skillet.

"I'm sorry," he murmured in her ear. "I didn't mean to startle you," he said as he kissed a slow trail down her neck.

"No, I'm fine," she said, leaning back into him, her breaths coming quickly as he continued his assault on her neck. His hands pressed against the flat of her stomach and he fought to keep them from wandering.

"Merry Christmas," he said as he released her and she smiled sweetly up at him, her cheeks a beautiful pink.

"Merry Christmas, Edward." She turned back to the stove and flipped a hot cake as it began to bubble on top. "Breakfast is just about ready."

"Can I help you with anything?"

"Sure you can take that dish of potatoes to the table," she said as she put the last hot cake onto the serving dish and took it along with the sausages, following behind him.

There was a box wrapped nicely on the table next to his spot. He raised an eyebrow at her as he sat the potatoes down.

"Just a minute," he said leaving the table and running to get the present he had wrapped for her.

When he returned to the table she had a strange almost sad look on her face.

He sat down, watching her as he handed her the gift.

She smiled at him and said, "You first."

She began filling his plate with food as he opened his gift. Inside was a book with no writing on the cover. He opened it and found lines and lines on all the pages and realized it was a music composition book. He looked up at her, amazed that she had remembered that he liked to play the piano. He hadn't written his own music in quite some time and now he was really looking forward to when his piano would arrive.

Underneath the book was a wool coat that he pulled out. It was exquisitely made.

"I hope it fits okay. If not, I can adjust it wherever you need," she said softly.

"You made this?" he asked with awe.

She shrugged, smiling softly.

"This is amazing, Bella, really," he said, standing up to try it on.

"I used to make them for my dad, he always seemed to like them," she said as she watched him buttoning it up.

He stopped and looked at her face which was lined with sadness. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't even think about how this was your first Christmas without him." He felt like a complete jerk for forgetting, but he had been so focused on the situation with James and on trying to build his relationship with Bella that it had completely slipped his mind.

Her eyes welled up with tears and he went to kneel beside her, gathering her into his arms. She silently cried on his shoulder and he stroked her hair. After a few moments she sat up and smiled weakly at him.

"I'm okay. I just miss him."

"Of course you do," he said.

She took a deep breath and said, "Honestly, Edward, I'm okay. And I really am glad to be spending today with you and your family."

He smiled at her and said, "I can't tell you how glad I am to have you here."

"Okay, enough of that," she said taking a deep breath and turning to the package he had brought down for her.

He watched her as she opened it carefully and found the book inside. It was a volume of Shakespeare's sonnets. Her eyes lit from within upon seeing the beautifully embossed leather cover.

"Edward, this is perfect!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. She immediately began flipping through the pages, a bright smile on her face.

Christmas was perfect – mostly because Bella was there as part of the family. Gifts were exchanged all around. Bella had knitted a sweater for Abigale and Rose delighted in her daughter and all the gifts she had received.

Esme gave Bella a beautiful pearl necklace that had been her mother's. Bella just stared at the necklace, her mouth slightly open, a tear escaped her eye, the women shared a smile and a meaningful gaze.

At Carlisle and Esme's, the meal was enormous. It would have been enough to feed at least three families their size. All the baked goods that Bella had helped with were delicious and Edward looked on with satisfaction as Bella heartily engaged in friendly banter with the family. Emmett and Bella seemed to have a special camaraderie between them. He loved to rib her and try to make her blush, but Edward beamed with pride to see that Bella repaid every jab.

"You had better watch out because I'll wallop you in Mule Shoes, little sis," Emmett said, elbowing Bella in the arm and grinning ear to ear with a twinkle in his eye.

"I just bet you'd like to try," Bella retorted, arching one eyebrow and smiling smugly.

"Oh ho ho, that's a challenge if I ever heard one. You're on!" he said, laughing and shaking his head and clapping her on the back.

Just as the meal began, Abigale began to get fussy and Rosalie left the room trying to settle the baby.

Bella hurriedly finished her food. "Excuse me," she said and left the room, being replaced by Rose a few minutes later. Rosalie looked at Edward and they smiled at each other.

Bella was always thinking of others; it was one of the things that he loved about her.

Edward was still smiling when Carlisle spoke up. "So, there's talk that a new sheriff is coming to town."

That sobered Edward in an instant as his eyes shot to his father. Carlisle's gaze was fixed on Edward.

"Charlie Swan's house was part of his compensation from the township. Now that a new lawman is coming, he'll be occupying the house," Carlisle spoke with gravity. "Edward, did you know about this? Has Bella heard?"

Edward sighed. "No, I don't think so."

"She should be prepared," Carlisle said pointedly.

"Yes of course. I'll tell her."

He knew this information would be a blow for Bella. This had been her house all through her childhood and the biggest physical tie she had with her mother and father. He wanted so badly to shield her from the pain coming at her from so many angles: her continued grieving over her dad, the fear over the situation with James. All he wanted for her was joy.

His hand gravitated to his pocket and he felt the ring there as he contemplated her past and the future he wanted to give her.

There was a lull in the conversation after Carlisle's bit of news. After a moment Bella walked in quietly bouncing Abigale in her arms as the baby slumbered peacefully.

All eyes were fixed on Bella as she smiled at Rose. "Where would you like me to put her down?"

Rose got up from the table and Bella looked at Edward. He felt an odd sense of hope and fulfillment watching her hold Abigale. She was amazingly good with the baby – so gifted, which was surprising since she didn't have any other siblings that she had to take care of.

Edward couldn't help but imagine her holding his child, which filled his mind with a whole new set of images – Bella round with _their_ baby, the two of them smoothing chestnut curls from cherubic faces, children running in the yard as Edward and Bella went about their daily chores. He saw in her the fulfillment of everything he'd always longed for but never dreamed possible because he never thought he'd find a woman that filled him with such love and one that could accept him as he was.

They said their warm goodbyes and went out into the cold night air. Edward's guard was ever vigilant on their way home, his gun at the ready. The twin instincts to protect and to make Bella his mingled in his mind. But he also knew he had to tell her about the new sheriff. He decided to wait to tell her till the next day so that she didn't have to receive the news on Christmas.

He slid his arm around her waist, and held her tightly to himself. He felt as though the ring was boring a hole in his pocket.

As they entered the house he was practically vibrating with the need to say the words.

Stopping after locking the door behind him, she looked up at him with a questioning glance. "Is something wrong, Edward?"

He took both her hands in his and leaned his head on the top of hers breathing deeply her beautiful scent mingled with the cold night air.

"Bella," he whispered. Inexplicably, when she pulled back and looked up at him with such love and devotion in her eyes, the words stuck in his throat.

_Please marry me_.

He wanted more than anything to beg her to be his wife. But he didn't want her worrying about anything else when she made that decision. He wanted her assent and he wanted it given freely, with as few distractions as possible. And he didn't want her to feel like she had to agree in order to maintain his help and protection. Yes, he wanted James out of the picture first.

He held her face reverently. He kissed each of her eyelids, then each cheek, then the corners of her mouth slowly. Her mouth parted and a slight puff of air escaped between her pink lips. But he leaned further and kissed her neck, lingering there, feeling her pulse hammering in her throat.

His hands went to her waist and pulled her closer, finally pressing his lips to hers. He put all of himself into this kiss, expressing what he could not say in words.

_I want you._

_I need you._

_Please stay with me…. Forever. _

Her soft curves were warm and inviting and he groaned as her tongue timidly touched his bottom lip. He deepened the kiss, unable to keep himself from exploring her mouth with his tongue. His body stirred and he fought the urge to take her upstairs to bed for anything but sleep.

_No one would know. For all intents and purposes she IS my wife._

He could feel himself losing the battle and surprisingly he didn't care. She was his and he wanted her.

She pulled away whispering, "Edward, I can't believe how secure I feel with you. Even with everything going on with – _him_ – when I'm in your arms, I can't even think about the danger. You just make me feel… safe."

The faith in her voice and the gravity of her words pulled him back to reality. She was _not_ his wife and she trusted him. He couldn't take advantage of her. He couldn't treat her as if she was his, when she… wasn't.

He pulled away, wanting anything but the separation that he enforced and looked deeply into her eyes. "You are safe, love. You are safe with me."

He would honor her and marry her first, if she would have him. But he would make her completely safe with no shadows lurking about before he requested her hand.

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay, I had migraines all last week and it's just been a rough couple weeks. **

**Some notes on the chapter:**

**Posie rings were sometimes called posy, posey, or poesy rings. They were popular from the 15th through the 17th century and had short little inscriptions either on the inside or outside of the ring. Shakespeare refers to them on a number of occasions in his plays. The inscription used on Edward's mother's posie ring is on a real posie ring.**

**The inscription, _Flesh of my Flesh Bone of my Bone From One Made Two is Two Made One, _is from the biblical account in Genesis 2:23-24. It refers to how God took the rib from Adam's side to make Eve. So from one, two are made and then in marriage two are made one.**

**Also, you may have noticed that fanfiction has been having some problems lately. I have replied to all reviews but if you didn't get a reply from me, I'm very sorry. I'm so grateful for all my readers and I love when you review!**

**I am loving getting to know some of you and hearing about what you think of the story! Thank you for reading, putting me on alert, reviewing, and reccing!**


	20. Crash

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thank you to LJSummers for being my wonderful beta. I am so thankful for her expertise and her critical eye!her **

**Thank you BrattyVamp for being my awesome prereader! You're a great encourager!**

**Warning: This chapter includes some disturbing elements but if you're with me so far, I don't think this'll be a problem. :)**

Chapter 20: Crash

Bella was stoking the fire in the cook stove when Edward walked in and leaned on the counter.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Bella, there's a new lawman coming to town."

Her body went stiff for a moment, a sense of unease about where this conversation was headed pervaded her mind. She replaced the cover on the stove and brushed her hands on her apron as she prodded him, "Oh?" looking up into his watchful green eyes.

Nodding, he continued. "Yes, and I'm not sure if you knew this. There's no easy way to tell you this, love, but… your father's house was part of his compensation… The new sheriff will be moving into the house."

Her chest collapsed in as a forceful breath of air gusted from her lungs and she squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn't known about the house being part of his pay. Charlie had never discussed money with her. And now someone else would be living in _her_ house? In her _dad's_ house?

She was quiet as she gained her composure. "Well, I suppose that takes care of what to do with the house." She laughed humorlessly.

"I'll help you clean it if you want, Bella. You're not alone in this," he said walking over and taking her into a gentle hug.

She buried her face in his chest and breathed in his scent, slightly musky and smoky from the fire, fortifying her with strength and peace. It would be difficult but maybe this would be a good thing in the end. A chance to let go, a chance to move on and start fresh. She smiled up at him and stretched up on her tiptoes to give him a soft kiss. "That would be wonderful, Edward. Thank you."

THB ~ THB ~ THB

True to his word, Edward helped her clean up the house. It ended up being less work than Bella had originally thought, and went especially quickly with both of them working. Charlie and Bella were fairly simple people. There were a few books, some clothing, and Charlie's fishing stuff among a few other things to take care of. A few times, Bella felt the tears well up in her eyes, the ache in her chest flaring up. It was particularly difficult when she stumbled upon a stack of letters, bundled together with twine that her mother had written to her father during their courtship. She thought about the unfairness of it all and how much she wanted both her parents back. The absurd desire to stomp her foot and get her way – as though she were a mere child having a fit over a sweet – struck her as incongruous when compared with the deep loss she felt.

They worked swiftly as Mayor Gerandy had already been by to see Bella. He had told her of how blessed the town had been to have her father as its sheriff for so many years. He had been gentle when he told her that the new sheriff was expected any day and he had politely asked that the house be readied.

Most things that they found while cleaning out the house were taken over to her and Edward's place but some things she gave away. She took all of Charlie's old fishing stuff and gave it to Billy Black. She knew she wouldn't be using it and Edward didn't care for fishing. She knew Billy would appreciate having something of Charlie's, especially something they had shared together as good friends. She also decided to leave the furniture and kitchen goods since she and Edward had no need of them and she thought the new sheriff might be able to use it.

She was feeling a bit unsettled in her relationship with Edward. She knew he cared about her and though he hadn't said it, she thought he loved her as she loved him. She knew he would not go back on his word to allow her to stay there, but what were his expectations for their relationship? He had not discussed the future with her and she couldn't help but wonder how he felt about their current situation and what he wanted it to be. She couldn't imagine life without him. Apart from her father, there was no other man in her life that she respected as much as Edward. He had overcome so much in his life and she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

They were essentially married already, would he want to consider that good enough? Though at this point she thought she'd agree to anything he wanted as she was ready to commit to him for life, she still held out hope that he would truly want to make things official and legal between them.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

"When Emmett takes you home, go inside and lock the door. Okay?"

"Yes, of course, I know," Bella said, feeling a bit chastised.

"I'll be home as soon as I can," he said looking intently at her. Then he gave her a kiss on the head and left with Carlisle.

Bella had already been planning on spending the day helping Rosalie when Carlisle had come to ask Edward to join him on a medical call. There had been an outbreak of something that sounded like cholera in a small village outside of town. Many people were affected and it was spreading rapidly.

Edward had agreed to go, knowing the need was great. Though, he had pulled Bella aside and given her the stern warning about being careful. She was feeling a bit stifled by the extra security. She knew it was ridiculous to feel that way; Edward was just trying to keep her safe and James was a real threat but she was smart. She wasn't going to just open the door for anyone. Besides she'd be spending most of her day with Rosalie and Emmett anyway.

Shaking her head, she turned to go get Abigale from her cradle after saying goodbye to Edward. The baby was crying again and probably needed a diaper change. She had worked it out with Rosalie to come over at least once a week to take care of the baby so she could have some time to herself. Usually Rose took a nap as she was always exhausted from being up most nights.

Wrapping the cloth and securing it with a pin, being careful not to poke the baby, she then redressed her and walked Abigale, humming gently to her. She played with her, singing to her, tickling her, and talking to her. After Abigale went down for a nap, Bella went into the kitchen to make lunch.

"Oh you're a life saver, Bella," Rosalie said, walking into the kitchen and yawning.

"Did you have a nice rest?"

"It was so nice. Thank you," Rose said, picking up two plates of food and taking them to the table. Bella followed behind as Rose continued, "You're so wonderful with Abigale. When can we be expecting a little cousin for her?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye, nudging Bella with her elbow.

"Uhh…" Bella stammered as she felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "I… I don't know."

Just then Emmett bounded in and took a seat, more than ready for lunch. "You don't know what?" he asked hungrily looking at the food on his plate then shifting his eyes up to Bella, "What's got you all red as a tomato, little sis?"

Bella felt her face grow impossibly warmer as she quickly sat down and occupied herself with putting her napkin in her lap. "Nothing."

Rose wore a knowing smile as Emmett looked back and forth between the ladies. "What?"

THB ~ THB ~ THB

She walked up the stairs of the front porch and waved to Emmett as he pulled away. Approaching the door she saw a piece of paper tacked to it.

Who had been here?

It was a stiff envelope with _Mrs. Isabella Cullen_ written on the front in fluid script. Her brow wrinkled as she unlocked the front door and entered, setting her wrap on a chair as she sat down and opened the envelope.

_Mrs. Cullen, _

_I am very sorry to have missed you. Your attention is needed urgently at your previous residence._

_Please come immediately to settle some matters pertaining to the installation of Sheriff Biers._

_I will be awaiting your arrival._

_Sincerely,_

_Mayor Gerandy_

Bella worried her lower lip between her teeth. She knew she wasn't supposed to go anywhere alone. But she had no idea when Edward would return and no one else was available. She had been expecting something like this and clearly it was very pressing.

It was still daylight for a little while, she would have the horse, and perhaps Mayor Gerandy would even escort her home. She would just have to be very careful. Locking the door behind her, she felt a bit melancholy over the finality of having to say goodbye to her dad's house. But she was also strangely lightened by the impending release, knowing that this would help her to let go of some of the pain and move on with her life.

She rode quickly, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible. When she arrived at her old home, she tied the horse to the hitching post out front, though she saw no sign of anyone being there.

_Hmm, that's odd. Perhaps, he's waiting inside._

As she approached the front door, she noticed that it was open just a bit.

The house was dark and cold inside and she didn't see Mayor Gerandy or anyone else for that matter. She shivered as she walked slowly toward the parlor.

"Hello?" she called out.

The only sound was the wind whistling through the open door. She began to walk toward the kitchen, "Hello?" she called again.

Nothing.

_Maybe he already left, but why would he leave the door open?_

She was beginning to feel quite unsettled and decided maybe she'd feel better outside. If she didn't find Mayor Gerandy there, she would just leave and they'd have to work it out later. Rubbing her arms she began to walk toward the front door when she heard a voice that made her blood run cold, her breathing escalate, and panic shoot through her limbs causing her to freeze in place.

"Beautiful."

Her eyes widened as she slowly looked over her shoulder to see James lounging against the banister on the stairs.

"I missed you Isabella," he said with a twisted smile on his face.

She quickly calculated her distance to the door. She was closer, but he was surely faster and definitely stronger. She had to try.

Bolting for the door, she shrieked when he slipped in front of her slamming the door shut just as she got there.

He laughed as she began to run toward the back door and he grabbed her arm, holding her fast. His fingers dug into her flesh and she winced and cried out in pain, jerking at his hold. This only caused him to laugh more.

"Bella dear, I did miss your spirit," he crooned running his hand along her cheek.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she desperately wracked her brain for an escape. Her hand balled into a fist as she pulled it back and let it fly only to have him catch it in his palm. She kicked wildly but he only took both her upper arms and slammed her into the wall, pushing himself flush up against her, preventing any further attacks.

"As much as I am fond of your gumption, my pet, please don't make this more difficult than it needs to be."

Strands of hair were falling from her bun and into her face as she breathed heavily, tears pricking her eyes as she realized she would not likely escape whatever he had planned for her.

"What do you want?" she demanded, much more confidently than she felt.

He laughed again and she was really starting to hate that sound. "Bella, my sweet. I told you. I _always_ collect on my investments. Or had you forgotten?"

She knew fighting would only spur him on and potentially enrage him. He would be more violent if she resisted. There was no one for miles around and no one knew where she was.

_So stupid!_ she berated herself. _Why couldn't I have waited for Edward?_

The tears were threatening to overflow in earnest but she did not want him to see her cry.

"Please just leave me alone," she begged.

"Oh, my dear, I'm afraid it is not nearly that simple," he sneered. "I am confident that I was quite clear with you. You belong to _me_. You live and breathe because _I_ deem it so. I will do as I wish with you."

She searched her brain for a way to work her way out of this, to trick him, anything that would stall him or help her at all. "Edward will come after you!" she blurted out.

His eyes took on a menacing quality as he hissed, "Edward will not be a problem."

Revulsion curled its way in her stomach and she swallowed hard. Her brows drew together as she asked, "What… what do you mean?"

He leaned in, breathed deeply at the base of her throat, and exhaled so she could feel his vile breath on her chest. "You don't really think I was going to let him go without making payment for stealing what was not rightfully his?"

She flinched away from him as he ran his tongue up her neck from her collarbone to her jaw line. "Leave him alone. I gladly went with him, he never _stole_ me," she said through gritted teeth.

_I was never yours to begin with_, she wanted to say but she held that thought, knowing it would only incite his anger.

"It's no matter, my dear. He dared to think you were his," he said running his hand along the neckline of her dress and she shuddered, a sob building in her throat.

"No! Stay away from him!" she cried involuntarily. Then she cringed knowing her vehemence only fueled his determination.

Maniacal glee played across his features as he ripped open the bodice of her dress and she whimpered.

_Stall him! Stall him!_ her brain shouted at her.

"Why are you doing this _now_? You've obviously been watching me for quite some time, why did you wait?"

His fingers ran along her chemise, the only barrier now between him and her breasts. "That wouldn't have been as much fun, now would it?" he breathed into her neck. "Toying with you was much more enjoyable. Leaving little hints, watching what you thought were your private moments. It was all part of the fun." He leaned over her and kissed her trembling lips while tears streamed down her face. "Speaking of fun, let's talk about a subject of importance to both of us," he said as his arms wrapped around her torso and he pressed her even harder into the wall, her breath now coming in shallow gasps. "I think, just for fun, I'll kill your Edward." Just as she began to protest, he stopped her cries with another violating kiss.

Terror lit every one of her nerves on fire. When he released her, she wept, "No don't! Take me, I'll go with you willingly, just let him be. Please!"

The gleam in his eye was frightening as a slow smile crept across his face. "I think we can manage both the killing and you coming with me willingly. And as a bonus, just maybe we can break his little heart in the process, what do you say darlin'?"

**A/N: So there's your early update. :) I updated early because my best friend and her sister are coming from out of state to visit me tomorrow and will be here for several days. It should be lots of fun! But it also means that I'm afraid I'm a big meanie and am leaving you with a bit of a cliffie. The next update will likely be in about a week and a half because of my visitors. **

**Thank you to everyone who has left me reviews. They all make me smile, I love hearing from you! Thank you also for adding me to your alerts, favorites, and for the recs. You guys are awesome! **


	21. Finished

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thank you to LJSummers for being my wonderful beta. Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Plus she's a great friend. :)**

**Thank you BrattyVamp for being my amazing prereader! You're a great encourager and I appreciate you sharing your expertise with me!**

**Warning: This chapter includes some disturbing elements and minor violence but, again, if you're with me so far, I don't think this'll be a problem. **

Chapter 21: Finished

"How is Bella handling the coming arrival of the new sheriff?" Carlisle asked Edward as they rode home on the muddy road. A light dusting of snow had fallen over the last day making the trees a beautiful wintry scene but only causing a sloppy mess where the horses trudged. They'd had a long day taking care of the sick and preventing the well from falling ill and Edward was relishing the fresh smell of air that bit at his nose and throat.

"She is doing beautifully. She has quite the strength about her. I am in awe of her." Edward reflected, licking his wind chapped lips. "Even when Mayor Gerandy came by to tell her that the new sheriff would be arriving any day, she was so strong."

"Yes, the mayor told me he was quite looking forward to Sheriff Uley's arrival. I'm impressed by how you've supported her through this, Edward," Carlisle said.

Edward nodded and shrugged his shoulders a bit. "Well, truly, it is my duty and my joy. It's what any loving husband would do," he said, looking over at his father. "I've had a great example."

Carlisle smiled at his son with pride. "I am proud of the man you have become. You are a hard worker, a capable doctor, and a kind human being," he said with sincerity.

His father's words of affirmation were still ringing in his ears as he dragged his feet up the stairs to the house.

The day had been good even though it had been exhausting.

The two doctors had spent the day gathering all the sick into one home, instructing people to boil all linens, bedclothes, and clothing. They also had the people make diapers out of sheets for the sick, cleaning and boiling them when dirty. They kept compresses on foreheads to alleviate the headaches and gathered plenty of blankets to keep patients warm in addition to keeping the fires going. It was filthy and sweaty and the smells were nauseating. But at the end of the day, Edward felt fulfilled in using his medical expertise to help these poor people and the itch to resume practicing medicine grew stronger.

He had missed Bella and was looking forward to relaxing with her and talking to her about what he had been thinking in terms of his profession.

"Bella," he called when he walked in the door. But there was no reply.

He needed to take off his clothes and boil them and clean himself up so he headed to the stairs.

"Bella," he called again but there was still no answer.

_Perhaps she's still with Emmett and Rosalie_, he supposed. That was odd, he thought she would have been home by now.

_I guess they needed more help. Rose had better not be taking advantage of her._

He cleaned up quickly and set his dirty clothes aside to be boiled later, then came back downstairs. He was about to leave to head back over to Emmett and Rosalie's place when a piece of paper lying on a chair in the parlor caught his eye.

He saw that it was from Mayor Gerandy pleading for her to come to her father's house. He started to get nervous thinking that she might have gone over there alone and then one line caught his attention.

_Please come immediately to settle some matters pertaining to the installation of Sheriff Biers_

_Biers? _He puzzled. _I thought Carlisle said the lawman's name was Uley…_

Then an icy bolt of fear ran through him and his stomach lurched. He dropped the letter and ran to get his gun, then out into the cold air of dusk.

He didn't have his coat in the frigid winter temperature but a sweat had broken out on the back of his neck as terror took over his system. His only thought was that he _had_ to get to her in time.

Riding his horse as if the hounds of hell were on his trail, he felt as though he was being propelled straight into the lair of the devil himself. Not bothering with roads, he cut a straight line through the trees and brush, crystallized branches slapping him in the face as hooves thundered across the ground.

Panic drove his body as he worked his horse harder than he ever had before.

_I CANNOT lose her._

_I CANNOT lose her._

_No, please God, no._

He choked on tears and cries as he neared closer to Charlie Swan's old home.

In one motion, he pulled to an abrupt stop in front of the house, grabbed his gun and dismounted. Running up the steps to the house, he didn't bother to tether his horse. He burst through the front door, gasping for breath.

What he saw there turned his panic into white hot rage. His limbs shook, his teeth ground together, and a feral growl erupted from his chest.

James had Bella pressed against the wall, the bodice of her dress ripped wide open, her chest covered only by a thin chemise. His greedy hands roughly groped at her waist and chest as his vile mouth attacked hers. He slowly turned his head to lock eyes with Edward as a self satisfied smile crept across his face.

Bella let out a strangled cry and struggled against James' hold. "Edward!"

Her cry was what made Edward snap. He raised his gun and took aim but just as his finger touched the trigger James spun Bella around so that she was directly in the line of fire.

"Get your hands off my wife, you bastard!" Edward roared, ravenous for the vengeance he was ready to exact without further delay.

But James only laughed, one arm wrapped around Bella's waist, pulling her tightly against him, while the other retrieved a knife from his belt and brought it to her throat.

Her eyes were wide, her hair falling in her face as James' sneer dared Edward to act.

"Put down your gun, Edward," he demanded.

"No, Edward, don't!" Bella rasped, her eyes pleading with him.

Edward tensed, inhaled deeply, and forced himself not to shout, "Let her go."

Bella took a sharp breath through her nose as James applied more pressure.

Edward hesitated. Putting his gun down was practically conceding and he had to get Bella away from James and take care of him once and for all.

Bella's body stiffened and she whimpered as a small trail of blood appeared, running down her neck.

"Shh, dearest, don't cry," James whispered as he bit her ear and her eyes squeezed shut.

"Stop! Just stop!" Edward pleaded.

His vision blurred with hot, angry tears. He had no choice. He couldn't take the chance that Bella would be hurt if he tried to shoot James and clearly James had no qualms inflicting unimaginable pain on her. He knew that James wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Eyes wide and moving cautiously, Edward set his gun to the floor, his mind racing with how to save her.

"Now step back."

Edward complied and took several steps away from the gun while James walked over to pick it up, dragging Bella all the way.

James' eyes gleamed with victory as he stood up straight with gun in hand.

"What do you have to say to Edward, darling?" James asked while roughly grabbing her breast.

Edward's rage was at a fever pitch and he couldn't tear his eyes from the sick excuse for a man groping his only love.

Gasping, she whispered, "Just go, Edward." A tear rolled down her face.

"I'm not leaving you," he said with determination.

"I don't… I don't want you here. I want you to leave. I… I'm going with James." Her voice cracked with her last statement and tears soaked her cheeks.

He couldn't deny that the words stung. She was trying to save him but it did not matter. She was his life and he would die defending her.

James wrenched her face to the side and laid a hard kiss on her lips.

Edward's ire was brimming over and he could feel the heat in his face as he took a step forward. "I believe I told you to take your hands off. my. wife!" he roared.

"Edward no!" Bella cried and struggled against her captor.

James evidently became tired of her fight as he hit her over the head with the gun and she slumped in his arms.

Edward watched in fear but he could see that she was breathing. The rage took over once more. He took advantage of James' distraction, taking two swift steps toward them. But James dropped Bella to the floor and began to raise the gun at Edward's advancing form. Edward darted forward, grabbed the gun, and turned the muzzle up, fighting against him. Edward shoved James, sending a small table and lamp flying in their wake, glass smashing all over the floor. James retaliated, slamming Edward into the wall and using the gun to crush Edward's ribcage. Edward pushed but couldn't budge him. Thrusting his knee up into James' groin, he managed to gain the upper hand for a moment. But James recovered, sending Edward flying over his shoulder. Edward scrambled on the floor trying to gain traction, but when he flipped over he saw that James had the gun aimed right at him.

He lay still, his breathing labored, knowing he was at the mad man's mercy.

James snarled. "You thought you could have her. You were a fool. No one succeeds against me."

"You will _never_ have her. She _was_ never and _will_ never be yours," Edward spat.

"We'll see about that," James said with a derisive laugh.

A shot exploded through the room and Edward cringed, squeezing his eyes shut as he braced for the impact.

But it never came. He heard a thud and something clatter across the floor. Cautiously opening his eyes, he saw James lying on the floor in a heap, the gun a few feet from his body. He was frozen in place, stunned at what he saw.

A gasp and what almost sounded like a little wail pulled him from his state of shock. Bella stood across the room, a rifle in her shaking hands, breath coming in ragged gusts, and eyes fixed on James' motionless body.

Edward jumped to his feet, went to James and nudged him with his boot. James didn't move. Leaning down he checked for a pulse in his neck. There was none to be found. He stood up and eyed Bella warily, then went to her, taking the gun from her hands and placing it against the wall.

She still had not looked away from James and there were tremors quaking through her body as her breath began to hitch and her eyes filled with tears.

He folded her rigid body into his arms. Holding her head against his chest with one hand, the other circled her waist and pulled her tight.

"Shhh, Bella, shhh. Baby it's okay. It's okay. You were amazing. I've got you," he comforted her.

Her body relaxed against his as she collapsed into hysterical sobs. He stroked her hair and continued to whisper reassurances to her.

"I. was. so. scared." Her words were punctuated by her sobs and muffled in his chest.

"I know, love, I know. You had every right to be. I would have done everything in my power to make you safe, but you were so brave. I'm so proud of you," he said. But he had to ask, "Bella, where did you get the gun?"

"My dad's," she cried. "I. could'nt. lose…" She took in a great shuddering breath, sniffling against his now soaked shirt. "I-couldn't-lose-you," she exhaled and gripped his shirt tightly.

He was overwhelmed by her sentiment. She hadn't done it for herself; she had done it for him. She had saved him. Truly, in every way possible… she had _saved_ him.

Squeezing her tighter, his face fell to her hair and he breathed her in. His heart pounded to his personal melody of devotion. And then he felt tears running down his cheeks and his own breath hitched in emotion. He pulled her head back and looked through his watery vision to her own misty eyes. He placed his hands reverently on her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumbs. And then he was kissing her and he didn't think he could have stopped the torrent of affection if he wanted to.

It was soft and needy and intimate. He could taste the salt from their mingled tears. Their chests heaved with the intensity, whether from the harrowing excitement of the day or their passion, it was hard to tell but likely it was a combination of both. He was reminded that her chest was only clothed in the flimsy chemise that lay beneath her torn dress and his need grew ever more. His hands began lifting of their own volition to touch her soft curves and he stopped himself just in time, instead letting them rest on the curve of her neck as he continued to demonstrate the depth of his love through his kiss.

He pulled away long enough to desperately beg, "Marry me. I love you. Marry me, Bella. I want to be your husband in truth. I want you to be my wife in the sight of God and everyone else." He couldn't stay away for long and he kissed her again. "Please say yes, I've always loved you," he whispered. Kissing her lips again, he groaned into her mouth. "Please say yes."

"Yes," she gasped, even more tears escaping her beautiful eyes. "Yes, I will marry you. I love you."

The smile that stretched across his face was almost painful, it was so wide. And her responding smile made him impossibly happier. He dropped his forehead to hers and said in a husky voice, "We'll do it right, and soon. I don't want to waste any time, Bella. I feel like I've waited my whole life for you."

With that he swept her up in his arms and she shrieked as her feet left the floor. Despite the trauma of the day, they couldn't stop smiling at each other. Edward placed her on his horse and climbed on behind her, holding the reins and leading her horse beside them as they rode. He didn't want her out of his arms for a moment – ever again.

**A/N: So, one more chapter and an epilogue to go. Drop me a note in the form of a review and let me know what you think! I appreciate every one of you that reads, puts me on alert, favorites my story, reviews, and rec's. I write because I enjoy it and because I love the story, but your words of encouragement really do help to keep me going!**


	22. Complete

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**Thank you to LJSummers for being my incredibly skillful beta. I deeply appreciate her critical and encouraging evaluations and her quick and inciteful replies! **

**And thank you BrattyVamp for being my awesome prereader! You're the best!**

**I apologize for this taking longer. I just got a new part time job that gets me out of the house a bit, which is a nice break from the housework and kiddos but leaves me less time for writing. And now, the final chapter, the epilogue will go up as soon as it's finished, probably a week or two. :)**

**Chapter 22: Complete**

The road was long but Bella didn't mind. The air was bitingly cold, but she was warm in her blanket, her left hand encircled by Edward's right. She was nestled comfortably against his shoulder and she smiled when he leaned over to kiss her head at frequent intervals along the bumpy trail.

"Are you comfortable, love?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you." She smiled up into his eyes. Nothing could bring her spirits down for soon she would truly be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

They had stopped for the night in Auburn in that same inn they had stayed in when Edward had brought her home. Sacramento was only a couple hours away and she was eager to bind herself to Edward in the most profound way possible.

She had been anticipating going and confessing their situation to Pastor Webber and getting married right there in Rough and Ready. She knew there would be gossip, but she would accept that burden with no complaints as long as they were together. It was Edward who had refused that scenario.

"Bella, I know what it is to live with stigma. My mother, before she died, was shunned by all polite society. Even if she had have been able to find work doing something else and changed her life, she never would have been accepted. She always would have carried the title of prostitute." Shaking his head, he continued, "Even though you never did anything wrong, people would talk. I don't want you to live with that kind of brand. You will _truly_ have a fresh start from all of this and I _will_ preserve your reputation."

And so they had agreed to continue keeping their arrangement a secret. It was a trust only between them guaranteeing that it stay in the past, where it belonged. They would go to Sacramento to get married so that word of their real marriage wouldn't get around when they were supposed to have been already married.

Conveniently, the stove that had been ordered for the house they would build for Alice and Jasper to live in when they made it out west later that summer had arrived in Sacramento and Edward volunteered to go pick it up with Bella. This gave them an excuse to travel without suspicion being raised.

As they bumped along on the seat of the wagon, Bella thought about how her last trip to Sacramento had been vastly different than this time. She had been desperate and naïve and completely unprotected. She had no idea of the gritty reality that many people lived in. So much had changed since then.

She had seen first hand the awful circumstances that so many destitute women found themselves in. She had seen true evil in James and Victoria. And she now had the unfortunate experience of taking another person's life.

As ready as she had been to die – or to live in the worst imaginable conditions to keep Edward safe – she was unspeakably relieved that she was able to end the threat to them both. It was a life-altering thing for Bella, knowing that she had killed a human being. But she would do it again in an instant if someone she loved was in danger. She did not feel a lick of remorse over what had happened and her joy overflowed that now her relationship with Edward would be allowed to flourish with no lurking specters.

After the horrific events with James, they left Charlie's house. Edward went directly to Carlisle to report that a migrant had ambushed Bella while she was cleaning out her father's house and that Edward had killed him before he had been able to harm her. Carlisle went to the house, pronounced the villain dead, and Pastor Webber saw to his burial in an unmarked grave outside of town.

As they arrived in Sacramento, Edward beamed down at her. "Are you ready? There's no backing out after this, you know. I'm afraid you'll really and truly be stuck with me."

The idea of being "stuck" with Edward gave her a thrill; she couldn't think of anything more appealing. "Well, you won't be able to get rid of me either. Are _you_ sure you want to go through with this?"

Edward laughed, snapping the reins to direct the horses to speed up, and leaned down. "Oh most definitely," he murmured in her ear, the vibrations sending delightful shivers through her body.

They drove along the main street and found the Sheriff's Office.

"I'm just going to run in and find out where to find the minister, okay?" Edward said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and jumping down from the wagon.

She nodded and waited while he went inside. The streets were busy with people going about their business. It was strange to be back in the city where so many of her troubles began, but it felt completely different. The last time she had been despondent and desperate. Now, she felt as though she might bounce right off her seat in anticipation as she bit her lip, unsuccessfully trying to stop her smile.

"Mrs. Isabella Cullen," she whispered to herself, trying the name out. It was silly as this was the name she had technically been going by for a couple months now. In her mind she had still been Isabella Swan, daughter of Charlie and Renee. Of course she still _was_ that person and always would be. But it felt good; it felt _right_ that she would be Edward's wife.

Edward came back out with a spring in his step and a smile on his face and reclaimed his seat next to her.

"We're not far," he said, suddenly grasping her chin and taking her lips with his own in a heated kiss.

"Edward," she exclaimed when he broke away, heat rising in her cheeks as she glanced around to see who had witnessed his passionate display. Two elderly women stood on the boardwalk gawking at them, then quickly turned to each other, whispering behind their hands.

Edward merely laughed and snapped the reins. She slid in her seat, hitting the back as the horses jumped to a trot.

Before long they had pulled to a stop in front of a small home with smoke rising from the chimney. Bella could feel her heart pounding in her chest and she was surprised by the sudden grip of anxiety tightening her stomach. Edward looked at her, his green eyes wide and shining. She smiled and reached out to take his hand.

"Your hands are freezing, sweetheart," he said, rubbing and then encasing them between his own. He blew warm breath into his cupped hands to warm hers, sending the strangest tingling sensation down her spine.

Edward knocked on the rough wooden door and stood back, ramming his hands in his pockets and rocking back slightly on his heels while Bella fidgeted with her skirt and chewed the inside of her cheek.

After a few moments, a middle-aged woman in a brown cotton dress and a white linen cap came to the door. "Hello, may I help you?" she asked, her round face wedged in the doorway, looking back and forth between Edward and Bella.

"Yes, Ma'am. Is the minister in?" Edward asked with a charming smile.

One thick eyebrow arched as she appraised the pair standing on her step. "Just a moment, please," she said as she closed the door.

Bella released a shaky breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding as she scuffed the bottom of her boot back and forth on the stone step. This was silly, she'd been living with Edward for months and she loved him. Why was she so nervous?

Edward reached over and took her hand and she looked up into his bright green eyes. "I love you, Bella. It'll be okay."

She nodded, feeling a wave of peace wash over her at Edward's touch.

The door opened abruptly and a man with glasses and a beard appraised the couple. He appeared to have been working on something as he was in work clothes, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. "What can I do for you?"

"Are you the minister, sir?" Edward asked, rubbing his thumb over Bella's knuckles.

"I am," he answered.

"Sir, we'd like to be married." Edward said, straightening his frame and looking the man directly in the eye.

The minister made no expression, and simply replied, "Well, you might as well come in then," and turned to walk back into the house.

Bella glanced at Edward. His eyes were crinkled at the corners and he displayed a boyish excitement as he pulled her into the house and shut the door behind them.

She looked around the modest home as butterflies buffeted the inside of her stomach.

"You can wait in the parlor," the man said, motioning to the left, then turned and walked into a room that Bella could see through the open door had a desk and a large number of books.

The floorboards creaked under their feet as Edward led her into the room where a fire roared, the sound of sap popping and hissing from the engulfed wood.

"Mrs. Greene, we have a wedding to perform," they heard the man call from his study.

Bella fidgeted nervously and Edward raised her hand and kissed it. He gazed deeply into her eyes, his own glowing from the fire light, entrancing Bella under the intensity. An unseen force seemed to be tugging her body toward his and she yearned for him in a way she didn't fully understand. Thoughts of what would come that night drifted through her mind. She knew she wanted to be with him. Her body responded to his touch. But it also scared her not knowing what to expect. She had heard whisperings of such things and she knew the basic mechanics. But she wondered if it would hurt much. She loved Edward and she trusted him not to intentionally hurt her. She felt as though she was being enticed into the unknown. Yet she couldn't find it in herself to object. When she was with him, having more of him was all she could think about.

She was startled from her contemplation by Mrs. Greene who lumbered into the room, eyeing the couple with boredom and a slight hint of irritation. She was followed quickly by the minister who carried some books under his arm and a pen and ink in his other hand.

Mrs. Greene sighed with exasperation. "Mr. Greene, you forgot your spectacles."

"Right, of course," he grumbled, stepping back out of the room.

The portly woman continued to stare at Edward and Bella, not saying a word. It wasn't hard to guess what she was thinking. A couple with no chaperons comes to the door and asks to be married immediately? It was as good as an admission that they were living in sin and maybe even expecting a baby. They stood awkwardly until the bespectacled Mr. Greene returned.

Clearing his throat, he set a book down on a table and opened it about halfway through. "Please sign here," he said, passing a pen to Edward who dipped it in the ink and wrote his name neatly on the line in the "Husband" column.

The steel nib scratched across the paper as Bella took her turn, a thrill going through her as she signed her name in the "Wife" column.

Just as she was finishing her signature, she startled, ink spattering slightly, at the sound of the fortissimo chords of "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" being played by Mrs. Greene with heavy hands. Her eyes slid to Edward as her forehead pinched in bewilderment at the jarring and mournful strains. He was watching her, his lips pressed together and twitching at the corners. His cheeks were rosy and his shoulders shook as he appeared to be fighting the urge to laugh.

As Mrs. Greene pounded out the last few chords, Mr. Greene took a deep breath and held up a book to read from. "Dearly beloved: we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that exists between Christ and his Church; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God."

Edward had taken Bella's hands and was looking intently into her eyes as Mr. Greene spoke.

"Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore, if any can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace."

Stopping for a moment the minister looked pointedly at the couple before turning to Edward and continuing. "Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?"

Edward's face was the portrait of sincerity and conviction as he squeezed her hands and said, "I will."

Mr. Greene's eyes cut to Bella. "Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will," Bella replied without the slightest hesitation.

Then the minister directed Edward to repeat after him. His words faded away and all Bella heard was Edward promising his life to her.

"I Edward, take thee, Isabella, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance."

Likewise Bella repeated the words, tears filling her eyes as she spoke. "I, Isabella, take thee, Edward, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance."

Bella, feeling as though she and Edward were the only ones there, her heart swelling in her chest as he squeezed her hands and smiled at her with love, didn't even hear the minister as he prayed. All she wanted was to be alone with Edward. Just then Edward dropped one of her hands and slid his own into his pocket, retrieving something and handing it to the minister. Seeing it was a ring she quirked a smile at him. He was beaming at her, excitement and joy exuding from his whole being.

The minister handed the ring back to Edward and said something else, but Bella was only focused on her almost-husband.

Sliding the ring on her finger he said, "With this ring as a token and pledge of my love and devotion, I thee wed, and with my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost."

Staring with rapt attention at the beautiful gold band adorning her finger, she wondered when he had bought it; she certainly hadn't been expecting it. His thumb caressed the warm metal and she looked up at him in awe. She didn't even realize she was crying until he reached up and gently wiped the tears from under her eyes.

"Forasmuch as Edward and Isabella have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have pledged their faith either to other, and have declared the same by joining of hands; I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. _Amen._" Then he looked to Edward. "You may kiss your bride."

Edward slowly ran his hands up her arms and cradled her face before lowering his mouth to hers. His lips were slow and gentle as he gave her a chaste kiss in front of the witnesses. But it was utterly indecent the way that he lit a fire within her belly and she felt herself melt into him.

Mrs. Greene apparently couldn't resist choosing that moment to hammer out "A Mighty Fortress" again and Edward pulled away laughing. But the smoldering expression on his face and the warm hand on her waist promised more to come.

They were ushered from the house with well wishes and as soon as the door shut behind them, the couple burst into fits of laughter.

"Imagine the scandals going through that poor woman's mind," Edward said shaking his head.

"I know, but I guess she can rest easy now knowing that we are now safely within the bonds of marriage," Bella agreed.

"Although, I can't deny that what she thought we'd been engaging in has been playing out in my mind for quite some time," he said, a cheeky grin gracing his handsome face.

"Edward Cullen! I cannot believe you! And all this time I thought you were honorable." She made to slap his arm playfully but he grasped it and pulled her close, his face inches from her own and she was suddenly breathless.

"Does that surprise you, Mrs. Cullen?" he said with a playful leer.

She blushed and made no response, feeling heat course through her body yet again.

By the time Edward pulled the horses to a stop at a reputable looking inn, Bella's earlier anxiety had returned in full force and could not be ignored. She trembled in nervous anticipation as he led her up the narrow wooden stairs and into their room after a stop to freshen up in the wash room.

She glanced around the room as he shut the door behind them. There was a small bowl of oranges on a table near the window that had a lovely view of the countryside. Edward had wanted to find an inn that was on the outskirts of town a little bit away from the hustle and bustle of the main part of the city and Bella was glad for the relative quiet. Like the other places they'd stayed before there was a table with a pitcher of water and a bowl and of course… _The Bed_.

She didn't realize that she had been buying time by surveying the room till Edward approached her from behind, burying his nose in her hair and wrapping his arms around her waist. She took a shuddering breath and leaned into him.

"I'm sorry you couldn't have the wedding you deserved," he whispered.

"Edward, I don't care about that," she said, running her fingers along his arms. "I just want you."

Slowly he spun her around and looked into her eyes. "We may not have had much that was conventional or traditional… but this," he said, taking her left hand and running his thumb over the ring he had placed there. "This was my mother's ring." He slipped the ring off her finger and she looked up at him in confusion. "It was worn by the married women in her family for generations and it was the only thing she saved when she was selling everything else of value to support us."

He slowly turned the ring and she gasped as she saw the faint inscription written on the inside of the ring.

_Flesh of my Flesh Bone of my Bone From One Made Two is Two Made One._

There were tears in her eyes when he replaced the ring on her finger.

"This is probably the only tradition I have to offer you. I'm sure that my mother dreamed that one day a man would marry her and she could share her life with him and raise a family," he said with a hint of sadness. "That didn't happen for her. But I am confident she would be overjoyed to know that I found someone I am so utterly crazy about, that I am completely devoted to," and then continuing in a near whisper, "and that I have found the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh."

The tears streamed down her face as she thought about how he must treasure this ring and the honor she felt at his gift. He kissed her tears away, threading his fingers into her hair and slowly releasing it from its pins, one by one. His hand ran lightly down the curve of her neck and her breath grew shallow as it increased in its frequency. His kisses were gentle and sweet, determined but patient as he slowly unbuttoned her bodice. She was nervous, shaking almost imperceptibly, but she was ready to give herself to him. She could not imagine ever loving anyone more than she loved Edward. She had already trusted him with her heart and her care. Now she was ready to trust him with her body.

His hands slid behind the fabric of her dress and up over her shoulders, sliding it down her arms and letting the bodice fall to her waist. He ran his fingers lightly over the front of her chemise. Pausing, he looked into her eyes, seeking something. He must have found it, for he loosed her skirt over her hips and it fell to the floor.

With trembling hands, she reached up to unbutton his shirt, removing it along with his undershirt. She tentatively ran her hands down his chest and let them rest on the waistband of his trousers. Looking up into his eyes, she saw his smile and she fumbled with the button. Having mercy on her, he removed his pants himself so that he was standing before her in just his drawers. Blushing, she dropped her gaze to the floor.

He took her chin and raised her face to his. "I'm your husband, Bella. Don't be embarrassed," he said kissing the tip of her nose. She took a deep breath, relaxing into his touch. His hands ran down her sides, over her waist and the curve of her hips and further down, pausing mid thigh where her chemise ended. His breath became ragged as he slid his hands back up her thighs over her drawers, bringing her chemise with them up around her waist. He paused, gripping her hips as he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you so much," he said roughly.

"I know," she replied and raised her arms allowing him to remove her chemise from her body. He exhaled unevenly as his eyes took in her breasts and his hands rose to gently caress them. Something tightened in her stomach at his touch and her eyes drooped closed. To have him touching her like this was strange – but it was exquisite.

His lips found hers and his tongue confidently explored her mouth while his hands continued massaging her breasts and she needed more. She moaned into his mouth and this seemed to spur him on as his hands came to her drawers and his thumbs hooked in the waistband.

"Bella," he groaned.

"Yes," she answered and he pulled her last remaining barrier from her body. He was quiet for a few moments and she began to get nervous, her eyes peeking open.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered and she felt the heat rise in her chest and her face as she was sure she was blushing fiercely.

Not wanting to be the only one laid bare, she reached for his drawers and slowly pushed them down, till they lay in a pile at his feet. She was startled and a little frightened by what she saw. She knew essentially what was supposed to happen and she couldn't for the life of her figure out how it was a physical possibility.

Hearing Edward laugh a bit she snapped her eyes to his and the heat in her face reached a near inferno. But he must have seen the trepidation in her expression because he took her face in his hands and lovingly told her, "You are my life. I will be gentle, I promise."

She placed her hands on his chest and took a deep breath. He captured her lips again and lovingly teased her till she warmed to him and soon she felt the need rise within her again.

He scooped her up in his arms and laid her softly on the bed, never breaking the kiss. He lowered himself over her, propping up on one elbow as his other hand explored her body. The flames of desire grew stronger as he poured out all his love on her. She knew he loved her and she returned that love with all that was within her. She didn't know what to expect but she would gladly give him everything she was, even those parts that had yet to be awakened.

And as she truly became flesh of his flesh and the tears fell from her eyes, he whispered over and over how beautiful, how cherished she was, how he loved her, and always would.

They fell asleep tangled in the bedclothes and in each other, entirely full and altogether complete.

THB ~ THB ~ THB

When Bella woke up the next morning she took a deep breath and raised her hand to rub her eyes. She was then hit by a cool draft and goose bumps erupted all over her body, drawing attention to the fact that she had no clothes on. It was startling to realize that she was lying naked on Edward's likewise naked chest and she could feel that there was no barrier between them. She flushed thinking about the night before.

Raising her head, she looked up at her husband, who was still sound asleep. His right arm encircled her body and his hand rested on her stomach just below her breast. The realization warmed her and she crawled over him, kissing her way up his chest. By the time she got to his lips, he was stirring.

"Mmm, wife," he mumbled.

She smiled and kissed him again and before long he was responding with vigor.

After a few moments, she tried to pull away but he wouldn't allow it. "Uhh – we need – to get – up. – We have – to get – on – the road," she said in between kisses and breathing heavily.

He laughed and released her just a bit. "Well, I guess we'd better go get that stove for Jasper and Alice's house."

"It sure is lucky that it came in when it did," she smirked.

"Very," he agreed.

She looked down at her hand and sighed in contentment. "What will we say about the ring?"

Taking her hand he kissed each of her fingers. "We'll tell them that I found it in an old box and decided to give it to you, which is the absolute truth," he replied with a smile.

Reaching up she ran her fingers through the hair on his chest and leaned over to give him a long and languid kiss. She shrieked as he flipped her to her back and settled over top of her.

"You're playing with fire, wife," he said, his voice husky and deep.

She giggled, "Oh really? And what are you going to do about it?"

"Enough talking," he said and effectively put an end to their verbal exchange.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews and recs! I love reading your reviews, I literally do smile when I see that someone has left me some love in the form of a review! Just the epilogue to go!**

**Some explanation on this chapter:**

**California did not become a state until September 9, 1850. So the laws on marriage were not set in stone at this point. There were no marriage licenses required. The only records kept of a marriage were by the officiating minister in a book he kept with him.**

**I looked really hard to find a version of A Mighty Fortress that sounded how I heard it in my mind. This is the closest I could find, if you are interested. I imagined it played a bit heavier than this rendition. For some reason this detail in the story cracks me up. :)**

**http : / / www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v=6OtTh6h2N2o&feature=related**

**Also, at this time wedding rings were optional. It was quite common not to wear them. So Bella not having a ring prior to this would not have raised suspicion.**


	23. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:****I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me. :) I'm just having some fun with her characters.**

**A/N:** I'll save the lengthy author's note for the end. But if you had questions about the story, I have tried to answer a few of the questions I received from readers at the end. Also, if you liked this story and want to be alerted when I post a new story, put me on Author Alert. If you read nothing else of the final author's note, please read the last part of my A/N at the bottom about sex trafficking.

Alright, enough of that. Now on with the story.

**Epilogue**

San Francisco, CA ~ June, 1855

Edward knocked his boots against the porch just before stepping through the door of the large brick building. Bella would have his hide if he dragged mud into the house. Exhausted, he let out a heavy sigh, glad to be home. It had been a long day – well a long week, actually. He'd been out making house calls to the poorest of the poor, diagnosing illnesses and prescribing remedies for all sorts of ailments. Since he and Bella had come to San Francisco four years ago, he had plenty of patients wanting to see him. He refused to let money be an issue and he saw anyone that needed the help, regardless of their ability to pay. This meant that his load was full but the money wasn't necessarily steady. Thankfully, he had a few wealthy and generous patients that brought in little surges of money every now and then, usually right when they needed it the most. In addition to all the house calls to the public, he also needed to be available to see the girls as necessary. And two of the girls had gone into labor and given birth that week, both in the middle of the night, as luck would have it. So Edward was functioning on very little sleep.

As he walked down the hall he looked into the kitchen and saw that Bella was working with Bree and showing her how to roll out dough. She loved teaching the girls to cook. She was so patient and always kind and they loved her for it. She also taught them sewing. But her favorite instruction by far was reading. She loved opening up the written word to these girls, many of whom had never before had any kind of formal education.

Their little home had begun in quite a small place, indeed. At first, they had just taken in one or two girls at a time. But after they had been able to have a margin of success with a few girls, some missionary groups had discovered their program and had begun funding them. Now they operated out of a four story building and usually had about ten or so girls and a number of babies living there with room for a few more.

Trudging up the three flights of stairs to their private living quarters on the top floor, Edward thought about how much he missed his wife. They had been so busy of late and he physically ached to hold her in his arms, feeling her soft body pressed against his own, laughing and talking and loving together.

Since their move, their time together was not as frequent as when they were in Rough and Ready. The year they had spent at home after their true marriage had been happy and full. Jasper and Alice had made it out west that summer of 1850 and Bella and Alice had hit it off right away. Edward couldn't help but take pleasure from their relationship. Alice was his little sister and had always held a special place in his heart, so to see Bella and her get along so nicely felt good. Alice had actually had a hand in their home for lost girls as well. Bella was quite adept at sewing but Alice could have been a high fashion seamstress working in Paris if she wanted. She worked with Bella, educating her more fully in seamstressing and was even able to come down to San Francisco with Jasper each year for a couple months to give classes to the girls in addition to the superb instruction that Bella gave.

Arriving on the top floor and entering their room, he changed his clothes then wandered out into the living area. He noticed a letter lying on their dining table. Walking over to pick it up, he saw that it was from Billy Black. Bella still kept in touch with Billy, sending him letters often. While they were still in Rough and Ready she made a point to visit him and the one time they'd gone home since they'd moved she spent an afternoon with him as well. He had been her father's best friend and practically family to her so Edward didn't begrudge her that. As his eyes skimmed over the letter, one paragraph caught his attention.

_Jacob is doing fine. He sends me letters every few months. San Francisco didn't take for him so he's gone up the coast to log the giant redwoods. I know he's glad that you are happy in your new life. _

Edward did still feel a bit badly for Jacob Black. But he couldn't truthfully say that he wasn't pleased that he had moved on from San Francisco. He had never relished the possibility of running into him on the street.

Just then Bella came into the room, looking weary yet altogether tempting. She saw he was reading the letter and raised one eyebrow at him, but the slight smile on her face told him she didn't mind him reading her correspondence.

He set the letter down and went to her, quickly putting on a playfully contrite expression. "So… Billy is well?"

"You tell me, you read it," she said, slightly shaking her head in amusement.

"I just glanced over it," he said taking her into his arms, unable to keep from touching her for another moment.

"Well, I'm sure you glanced at the part about Jacob," she said with a knowing grin. Shrugging one shoulder as she placed her hands on his chest, she sighed. "I do hope he is happy."

"I'm sure he is just fine," Edward reassured her. "But more importantly, I need some time with you, Mrs. Cullen." Then he took her lips in a heated kiss. He ran his hands across her back and down her curves to rest on her hips. She gave a little sigh as he kissed the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. She could never refuse him when he started that.

"Edward," she breathed. "I miss you."

"I know. You have no idea how much I want you right now," he groaned, pressing into her.

"Oh, I think I have a bit of an idea," she said, giggling. He took her earlobe into his mouth and lightly bit it. "Oh… but… mmm… Edward, wait."

"Nnnn," he grunted but continued.

Her head fell to the side, betraying her words. "No, wait. Edward, you have to stop."

Reluctantly he pulled away and looked her in the eye, groaning. "This had better be good, love."

Her eyes were hooded and she shook her head a little. "There's a new girl that Irina brought in. She seems quite traumatized, the poor thing. I need to go see to her, she has several injuries. I'm glad you're home because if I can get her to agree to it, you may need to see to her too."

He was frustrated to have the time with his wife cut short but nodded his agreement. They'd known when they'd opened this house for girls wanting to get out of prostitution that they would have to lay aside their own needs and desires sometimes.

He watched the gentle sway of her hips as she left to go back downstairs and raking his fingers through his hair, he turned to pick up a book and wait for her return. _Tonight_, he resolved.

She came back after an hour or so to get his help with the girl, Kate. When Edward walked into the sitting room, Kate was cowering on a chair by the fire and Bella was kneeling next to her, holding her hand and speaking soothingly to her. Girls often came to the home as a complete last resort and as a result were in bad shape physically and emotionally. They were severely distrustful of men and Edward had learned to be exceedingly cautious with them.

Kate's frightened eyes darted to Edward as he slowly approached her.

"Kate, my name is Dr. Cullen. I'm going to see to your injuries, if you'll allow me," he said in a soft voice.

Her fear was palpable but she looked to Bella who was patting her arm and jerked her head once in silent assent.

Bella's brows were pinched in concern and Edward knew that seeing the girls when they first came in was difficult for her. It was too much of a reminder of where she once had been.

Edward came up to her and kneeled on her other side. Setting his medical bag on the floor, he saw that she was a complete mess. Her eyes were blackened with bruises and her lip was swollen. Dried blood mottled her chin. The arm opposite the one Bella held was dangling limply by her side and Edward wondered what other injuries she had sustained.

Upon examination, Edward found that in addition to the visible bruises and cuts she had a broken arm and cracked ribs.

Bella's eyes were sad and he could tell she was close to tears. She took a towel and wet it then she began cleaning Kate's face as Edward fashioned a sling out of linen. The battered girl's expression took on a faraway quality as Edward tenderly wrapped her arm in the sling and Bella lightly dabbed some salve on her cuts.

Many of the girls came to the home out of complete desperation. None of them were happy with how their lives had turned out and they wanted a fresh start. Unfortunately, it was sometimes difficult to protect them from their "owners." It was a dangerous job that Bella and Edward had undertaken and they had to keep a low profile. It was strictly by word of mouth that the girls would hear about their home. But they had been able to educate many already in trades that they could make a living off of and they had several girls who were successfully managing to keep themselves away from prostitution. Seeing the change in their lives was all the reward they needed. Bella especially felt a sense of accomplishment, overcome with pride whenever a girl began a new life with work they could be proud of.

After they were finished tending Kate's wounds, it was time for dinner. They went and joined the rest of the residents at the large table and enjoyed a meal. It was always interesting to watch the dynamics playing out during meal time. At the moment there were twelve girls, a few with babies living with them. The babies babbled and cooed, one cried, while another slept. The girls who had been there a while were comfortable and heartily engaged in warm conversation while the newer ones sat quietly, preferring to stay on the periphery.

After dinner, Edward went upstairs while Bella settled Kate into her room. He was sitting in his chair by the fire in the sitting room, reading when she returned, looking tired and burdened with the weight of the world. He knew she was thinking about Kate. Sitting on his lap, she dropped her face into the crook of his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist. This had become somewhat of a ritual for them whenever a new girl came into the house. Bella always needed extra comfort at these times.

"She's in so much pain," she said, her voice muffled and her hot breath on his neck, stirring his husbandly desires.

"I know, love. I know. But she is safe now. She has the opportunity to heal and make a life. Just look at Irina. She was in much worse shape when she arrived and now she's almost ready to move out on her own. It is your passion that has given these girls a new life." He knew she gained much satisfaction from helping them find a place in their world where they had a measure of freedom, where they could work hard, and feel good about their labors. Edward was also happy to do his part in ending the slavery for these women.

"I just hope it will be enough," she said sniffling a bit.

"I know, sweetheart. You are doing all you can for her. We can only hope and pray for the best."

She nodded and sat up to look into his eyes. Her hands rested on his chest and she leaned in to kiss him. Her lips were warm and salty from her tears and Edward hummed his appreciation. They'd both been so busy lately and he longed to really be together but he took his cues from her. The kiss was slow and healing but after a few moments turned heated. She shifted in his lap to straddle his legs and plunged her fingers into his hair, tugging and twisting. Oh how he loved her fiery side. He should have known the capability was there by her passionate diatribes on literature earlier in their relationship. But he was delightfully taken by surprise soon after their marriage to find her zeal transferred to the bedroom as well.

"I've missed you, Edward," she whispered before crashing her mouth onto his.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body into his, and plunged his tongue into her mouth, groaning with raw need. His blood hammered through his veins and his breath became labored as he roamed his hands all over her body, unable to get enough.

She fisted her hands in his shirt and stood to her feet, breaking the kiss. He complied as she yanked him up from his position in one swift movement. Coyly she backed away, a sultry glint in her eyes. Turning around she walked slowly to the bedroom, daring him to follow and he could do nothing but oblige.

Their clothes quickly discarded, she pushed him backwards onto the bed and he delighted in her enthusiasm. Damn, she was beautiful and he met each of her advances with his own eager responses.

He wanted her fiercely but she was teasing him, prolonging the sweet torture. He groaned in frustration and she took pity on him. She whimpered as he pulled her down to kiss her neck. They moved together in simultaneously languid and tremulous motions until they fell together, hearts pounding, blood rushing in their ears and floating on a gentle tide.

She snuggled up under his arm and onto his chest and he lazily kissed her forehead. He could think of nothing better than that moment. He was in awe that he had managed to win her love and he knew he would never take it for granted. She had saved him. They had saved each other, and they would continue to do so.

After all, they were in this together.

**Final Author's Note: If you read nothing else in this ridiculously long author's note, please read the bit at the end about sex trafficking.**

**EPIC THANK YOUS! **

**I first want to thank Bratty-Vamp for helping me get started with this fic! Thank you for encouraging me, for giving me advice, and for generally being a listening ear when I first started out with this story! You were so kind and helped me to be brave enough to post at all! Thank you for pre-reading this story for me! **

**Next I want to thank LJSummers for being my beta starting in chapter 14. You helped me to make it so much better. I really valued that you are a scholar on this particular time and place and also the little side foray into weaponry that we took. ****Thank you for always being honest with me and for helping me work out some of the finer details. Oh, and thank you for being patient with my ok/okay/OK thing. ;) **

**Thank you to everyone who read my story! I am honored that you took the time to read it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! You made me smile and it was so encouraging to know that people were actually reading this thing that I wrote! Thank you to everyone that recc'ed TtHB! I think I actually squealed in delight whenever I saw someone rec me. What an honor to know that not only did you enjoy my story, but you wanted others to know about it too! **

**By the way, just because this story is complete doesn't mean I don't care what you think about it. I still want to hear what you think and to know that you are reading! I'd love it if you dropped me a note. **

**I have lots of ideas for more stories ruminating in my little brain. If you want to be alerted when I start a new story, make sure to put me on author alert. I will probably take a bit of a break to develop the ideas more fully and to read some stories I've been wanting to read but will be back at it when I have something that might be worth sharing. **

**Just to address some issues and questions that have come up over the course of writing this little story.**

**Why did I title it "To the Highest Bidder"?** I titled it "To the Highest Bidder" because in the beginning of the story, Bella is a pawn to the whims of the men in her life, which is completely normal for women in this period, and it is most tangible, obviously, when she is being auctioned off. My goal for her through this story was that she have some choices in life and learn to have some control and become her own person. This is quite progressive for a woman in her time but it was important to me. By the end, Bella will have used her adversity; have come full circle in having chosen Edward on her own rather than having Jacob chosen for her or having been James' slave. She is helping other women who had no voice and were literally owned, to break out. So – as LJ keenly observed – you could also say that Bella, herself, is the highest bidder in her own life because she paid more for what she has in life than anyone paid for her.

**People hating on Jacob:** I understand why some people were so antagonistic towards Jacob. My intent for his character was that he was someone Bella cared for very deeply. And he cared for her very much. His actions were not really too out of line for his time. Yes, he should not have forced the kiss with her. But he believed they were getting married. Bella had never told him that she didn't want to marry him. At that point in the story had just gone along with the plans that Charlie, Billy, and Jacob had been making like an appropriate daughter would in that time. So he had no reason to believe that she didn't love him as he loved her or at least that she would learn to love him.

**Suspicions over Charlie's death:** Charlie's death was a pure and simple accident.

**What brought on Charlie's last words – "Be happy"?** Charlie had gone and arranged the final details of Bella and Jacob's marriage with Billy and Jacob. I don't really want to interpret the "Be happy," line because Bella didn't have any more interpretation and she made decisions based on what she thought he meant. In my mind it could have been "Be happy in your marriage to Jacob," or "Do what makes you happy." However, Charlie did not have the benefit of knowing that there was another potential suitor – that perhaps Bella would have preferred – in the mix. As her father it was his duty to make sure that she was taken care of and Jacob would have taken care of her. He wanted her to marry Jacob but he also wanted her to be happy. I believe that given some time and if he had have known about Edward, he would have considered her feelings, even though he really wanted her to marry Jacob.

**Who followed them from Sacramento? What was James doing during those months? **The person following Edward and Bella from Sacramento was one of James' "goons." He went back and reported to James who went to Rough and Ready at his leisure and began stalking. He took his time. He was patient and enjoyed the hunt just like canon James. So he watched Edward and Bella. He got to know their patterns and whom they associated with. There were times when he could have acted more quickly but as I said, he was patient and enjoyed causing fear once he started leaving clues for Edward and Bella that he was there.

**People thinking the false marriage would come out: **As far as I'm concerned, their original false marriage won't come out. No one could prove that they didn't actually get married when they said they did, nor would they have reason to doubt them. They are the kind of people who are honest, their families and friends would believe them if they told them they got married. Also, as I posted in an author's note after their real marriage, at that time in California marriage licenses were not required. California was not even a state at that point and marriage laws were not set in stone. The only record of a marriage would be in the book the minister carries with him and there were a lot of itinerant clergy and the whole area was just rough and tumble. It would be highly unlikely for it ever to be found out, in my opinion.

**Victoria and Laurent's fate:** Victoria and Laurent and all the other workers at the brothel are still in business and making a profit on the girls that work there. Many people expressed the desire to see them pay for what they did. While that would be nice, it's not really realistic. People like this existed and still exist. People with evil intentions and who act in a deplorable way get away with their crimes every day.

**Sex Trafficking: **As I explained in an author's note on Chapter 8, prostitution and human trafficking is something I have a deep burden for. This kind of thing still happens in the world and it still happens in the United States.

**Here are some facts on sex trafficking taken from the International Justice Mission's Fact Sheet available on their webpage - .org/**

• After drug dealing, human trafficking (both sex trafficking and trafficking for forced labor) is tied with the illegal arms industry as the second largest criminal industry in the world today, and it is the fastest growing. (U.S. Department of Heath and Human Services)

• Worldwide, there are nearly two million children in the commercial sex trade. (UNICEF)

• There are an estimated 600,000 to 800,000 children, women and men trafficked across international borders annually. (U.S. Department of State)

• Approximately 80 percent of human trafficking victims are women and girls, and up to 50 percent are minors. (U.S. Department of State)

• The total market value of illicit human trafficking is estimated to be in excess of $32 billion. (U.N.)

• Sex trafficking is an engine of the global AIDS epidemic. (U.S. Department of State)

**Here is one personal story that IJM shares:**

Manna's Story - INDIA

When 14-year-old Manna* ran away from her abusive home, she met a woman who offered her a job selling fabric. She accepted the position, and the woman provided her a place to sleep for the night. When Manna awoke in the morning, the woman was gone, and Manna discovered that she was in a brothel. For the next two years, she was held in the brothel and raped by customers for the profit of the brothel owners. She was freed when IJM investigators discovered her captivity and alerted local authorities, working

with them to release her and three other young girls from the brothel. The brothel owners each received five-year sentences for their crimes, and Manna was brought to an aftercare home to heal in security.

**If you would like to know more about human trafficking and the sex industry and how you can help, check out these organizations. I do not endorse any of these organizations. As always, be wise about whom you give to and whom you get involved with.**

http : / / www . ijm . org /

http : / / www . notforsalecampaign . org /

http : / / www . salvationarmyusa . org / usn / www_usn_2 . nsf / vw-dynamic-index / ? Opendocument


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